


You were my life (life is far away from fair)

by linzackles



Series: Happiness is a butterfly (I try to catch it, like, every night) [2]
Category: Good Girls (TV)
Genre: AU - Past relationship, Angst, F/M, don't say i didn't warn ya, young Beth and Rio flashbacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:54:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 43,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24252412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linzackles/pseuds/linzackles
Summary: I tried to forgetbut you grew roots around myribcageand sprouted flowers (just) belowmy collarbones.All day I pluck their petals.—When Rio comes back to town to find Beth pregnant, they both have to figure out how much the past is worth and whether it's all they'll ever have.
Relationships: Beth Boland/Rio
Series: Happiness is a butterfly (I try to catch it, like, every night) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790578
Comments: 292
Kudos: 545





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Demon had me on suicide watch for six weeks.”
> 
> *
> 
> “Your sister left me messages every day that first month. You know about that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So this has probably been my most requested follow-up story, but for a long time I didn't want to write it for two reasons: 1) I liked the self-contained nature of those 5 chapters and where they ended off and 2) I knew there was no easy fix to the situation Beth and Rio are in and that things would only get worse before (if ever!) they got better.
> 
> BUT. It seemed like you guys really wanted it and I realised I wasn't ready to part with these characters in this world yet. So I hope you still feel that way and want this continuation xx

******

_If_ _you’re listening to this message, it means I’m dead._

_Ok, not really. I’ve just always wanted to say that._

_But, look, I think you should come back, ok? I know Beth said a lot of shit yesterday, but you know she didn’t mean it. Don’t call her, she won’t pick up, but just… come._

******

_Hey. So Beth started cleaning today._

_She said we’re moving out tomorrow. And by cleaning I mean she_ said _we should clean then opened a cupboard, looked inside, got into bed and cried for five hours._

_It was yours. And – and it was empty. You… took all your stuff._

_Which I – weirdly – wasn’t expecting._

_Just… come back, ok? I’ll mediate, or whatever._

******

_Dude, what the fuck?_

_You really aren’t going to return my calls? Two years and then you just walk out and leave us all behind like it’s nothing?_

_Fuck you._

******

_Why don’t you have a proper voice message prompt? You really couldn’t just say ‘Hi, it’s Rio; leave a message’ like a normal person?_

_…Look. I was mad yesterday._

_I get it. She said some awful things, ok? I get it. But she was hurt._

_She_ is _hurting and… she needs you._

******

_God, you’re a fucking coward, you know that?_

_Jesus. Fuck you._

******

_It’s a miscarriage._

_People get through this kinda thing all the time, but they can’t do that when one person just ups and leaves._

_I know she said she didn’t want you here, but… god, I’m out of my depth, ok? I’m eighteen years old and I have no idea what this has got to feel like. If I’d lost Sadie… I don’t even know what I would’ve done._

_But_ you _know what she’s feeling. And I think that—_

_Never mind._

******

_We moved in with Ruby._

_Beth pretty much just lays on the couch all day with dead eyes._

_FYI, it’s been a week. This is your last chance to_ return a fucking phone call _with no kickback. After this, I am going to be mad at your boney ass for, like, ever._

******

_I don’t know what the point of these is anymore._

_It’s been two weeks, it’s obvious you aren’t coming back. Maybe I just want you to know. Not that I’m even sure you’re getting these. You probably left your phone behind just like you left us._

_I guess… I guess maybe I just miss talking to you._

_Beth’s pretending you never even existed and it’s so stupid. You’re both idiots._

_Sometimes it feels like she doesn’t exist anymore, either._

_I miss my sister and my boy._

_Anyway._

******

_I guess this is what I do to vent now._

_Though I hardly know what to say. It’s been three weeks and she still cries every night._

_…I think I hate you a little._

******

_Demon called me today. Wanting to know how Beth is._

_I don’t know if it was for you or not, but he kind of made it seem like…_

_Are you ok? Please just call me back. I’m really worried._

* * *

Beth’s chewing her lip nearly all the way off.

Her phone rings and she flips it over immediately, heart in her throat, but the screen flashes with Andrew’s name.

God.

“Hi,” she puts on her most cheerful voice.

“Hey, how are you?”

Panicking.

“Uh, good. How are you?”

“You weren’t at the store today,” he notes.

“Yeah, it’s my day off.”

She starts tapping on her leg, impatient. What if her sister tries getting through while she’s on this call?

“I have to start getting better at that.”

“At what?” she frowns, panic subsiding for a moment.

“Working out when you’ll be there or not.”

A light blush rises to her cheeks and she’s genuinely not sure what to say.

But he doesn’t say more, and she realises suddenly that she’s supposed to give him something so he can gauge her reaction to that.

That’s how flirting works, Beth.

“It’s not your fault,” she says as diplomatically as possible. “I _was_ _supposed_ to work today, but I had to do something important.”

“You’re out?”

“No, at home.” She winces. “…My sister’s out doing it.”

“ _Ok_ , Little Miss Cryptic.”

She smiles, about to say something else when suddenly the front door opens.

“Oh my god.”

“What’s wrong?” he sounds immediately concerned.

“Nothing! It’s just – she got home.” Beth can barely breathe, all the panic flooding back. “I have to talk to her, I’m sorry.”

“No problem. I’ll see you?”

“Yes!”

She hangs up without even really thinking, her phone dropping from her hand as she jolts up off the couch.

“Where have you _been_? It’s been _hours_!”

Annie rolls her eyes, dropping her stuff on the kitchen counter.

“It’s _Rio’s family_. They stuffed me full of every kind of food imaginable while asking me every question in this universe about you.”

Beth’s eyes widen.

“Did you—”

“ _No_ , of course not.”

She swallows, relieved.

“Well, did you get it?”

“Yeah,” she shrugs easily. “No problems. You’d think they’d protect Mr Dangerous Crime Lord’s phone number a little better, but nope.”

Beth nibbles on her lip, somehow even more stressed now.

“What did you say about why I wanted his number?”

Annie shakes her head.

“I said it was for me. That my boss was bothering me again and Rio said to call him if I ever needed his help with him again, but that that was like twelve years and twenty phones ago.”

Wait, what?

“That’s not what we talked out,” she glares.

God, why does her sister always have to go off-book?

“It came to me in the moment! And besides, it wasn’t completely a lie. I do need it for me.”

“What do you mean?” Beth frowns.

Creating a little more space between them, Annie pulls a face.

“I’m your sister, so I’m just going to be honest: you’d be terrible at this.”

No, no.

“This isn’t a joke, Annie.”

“I know. And that’s why _I’m_ calling him.”

“That doesn’t even make any sense!”

“You're taking it _too_ seriously, so you'll choke and it'll suck. Whereas _I’m_ a pro message-leaver.”

“What if he answers?!”

“Oh, trust me,” she scoffs, “he never answers.”

“Don’t do this.”

But her sister only smiles sweetly.

“If you promise to be quiet, I’ll even let you listen in.”

Folding her arms with the dirtiest look she can manage, Beth flops back onto the couch.

Annie grins triumphantly then comes to join her, pulling out her phone.

“Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve done this,” she mutters to herself as she dials, almost amused.

And Beth watches with horror as, for the first time in nearly thirteen years, her sister calls Rio.

And though with time so much has changed, one thing hasn't: there's no way of knowing what this will mean. 

******

Yo, it’s Annie.

I got this number from your sister, who handed it over really easily; you should look into that. Also, your mom still makes those crazy amazing buffalo wings – dude. Missed those.

Anyway, I’m calling because… well, I’m just gonna rip the Band-Aid off: Beth’s pregnant. Five months.

And if you can still do any kind of math, you’d know that you should get your bony ass down here. ASAP.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the feedback! So glad to know you guys still remember this story and are ok with getting back on board this angst train 🤣 
> 
> The previous chapter was a bit of a prologue, but now we get into the real stuff...

_“Please tell me it’s April Fool’s.”_

_Beth looks up from the box she’s rooting through._

_“It’s not even April.”_

_Annie throws out her arms._

_“Your boy just told me that he’s heading out to buy the paint for Marcus’ room and you said he could choose the colour.”_

_“What’s wrong with that?”_

_“Have you_ seen _the man’s wardrobe?”_

_Beth rolls her eyes. “He’s not going to buy black paint, Annie.”_

_“Are you sure about that?”_

_Finally finding her nail clipper, she pulls it out of the box._

_“I’m trying to make him feel a part of the process. Ruby said that’s important.”_

_“Because Stan and Rio are_ totally _the same person.”_

_They share a smile at this before Beth begins trimming her toenails. She’s made a list of things she won’t be able to do in a few months and is determined to observe full appreciation of them all now._

_“Why are we even doing this now?” Annie flops onto the bed beside her. “Kid’s not gonna be here for, like, ever. Whereas your own room…”_

_They both look around – there are boxes stacked on top of boxes, the bed the only thing in the entire room that’s really set up. The kitchen is ten times worse._

_“I figured if we painted the nursery, at least one thing would feel like—”_

_“It was under your control?”_

_This cuts her off for a moment._

_Though she hasn’t spoken to her sister about this, truthfully it isn’t an entirely unfounded accusation._

_It feels as if she hasn’t been able to catch her breath once since telling Rio she’s pregnant. He’d found this place in a week and they were all packed up within the next. It’s all gotten away from her and she feels a little like she’s drowning._

_But it’s a good kind of drowning – she thinks. With time, everything will settle. One day, it will all feel right. She thinks._

_“Like home.”_

_Annie makes a sound of acknowledgement before looking around then back at Beth._

_“Want me to paint your toenails?”_

_“Aren’t you supposed to be unpacking your room?”_

_“Aren’t_ you _supposed to be unpacking the kitchen?”_

_“What colours do you have?”_

_Her toes are gleaming with a sparkly fuchsia when they hear the front door close._

_“Crap. Hide everything, I’ll distract him!”_

_Beth nods rapidly before beginning to stash all evidence of their pampering as Annie scampers off. When she’s done, she finds them in the nursery – which, at the moment, is really just an empty room._

_“Hey, what did you get?”_

_“He wouldn’t let me look,” Annie huffs as Rio moves aside to let her pass._

_Beth frowns but he looks pleased, so she rounds the table where he’s placed the cans with a mix of concern and excitement. She hadn't given it much thought before sending him out, figuring there are only so many shades of blue, but now she's reminded of her sister's scepticism._

_“_ Aquamarine _,” she reads the label. “Oh.”_

_Annie pulls a face. “What’s that – like, green?”_

_“Then it’d say green, genius,” Rio jabs._

_Beth stares at the little preview patch of colour for a long moment, trying to figure out how the man who’d made her get black crockery for their new kitchen also picked out this pastel mint colour for their son's bedroom._

_Then she frowns._

_“Wait. Is this because Marcus’ birthstone is going to be aquamarine?”_

_He stuffs his hands into his pockets._

_“What’s a birthstone?”_

_“Please. I was telling you about this the other day.”_

_Now he grumbles._

_“You wanna go get sum’n different?”_

_“No,” she decides, smiling. “I like this.”_

_Annie whistles under her breath._

_“So it’s true you have to lie to make a relationship work.”_

* * *

The doorbell goes.

Beth looks up from the water with a frown.

They’re not expecting anyone and she’s just finished running a bath.

Hoping it’s for Annie, she waits, impatient to lower herself into the steaming water. It’s barely midday but her feet and back already hurt, and she plans to make full use of her day off. She's even considering doing a face mask. 

“Uh, Bethie, there's... someone here to see you.”

Her frown deepens.

Her sister never calls her that and there's something odd in her voice, nervous.

Re-tying the robe’s belt around her waist, she exits into the bedroom. She's about to go looking for pants when suddenly the bedroom door is opening and – it's him.

Annie's behind him, using both hands to point manically as if Beth could somehow miss the six-foot all-in-black love of her life.

She wants to say something but then his eyes drop and, _oh_ – he isn't only seeing her.

And she's bigger now than she was with Marcus – enormous, she feels. Her every limb freezes solid, feet nailed in place as she takes in his open jaw.

He comes closer then stops a few feet away, eyes flicking up to hers for a millisecond before going back to her bump.

“Fuck.”

She swallows, throat dry.

“Annie, could you...”

Her sister nods before she has to finish the sentence, a very non-comforting look on her face as she pulls the door closed, shutting them in the room together.

She regrets it immediately – Beth suddenly isn’t sure how to breathe, like the room has negligible square footage and the walls are closing in.

His hand comes up then reaches across, as if going to land on her stomach, but he yanks it back at the last second, wiping it across his mouth.

The silence – his horror – is too much, she thinks she’ll suffocate in it.

“S-so you know, I didn't mean to make you come – Annie insisted on leaving the message.” She clears her throat. “I just thought you should know.”

Finally his eyes leave her stomach.

“You _just thought I should know_?”

There’s a fire in his dark pupils; a furious set to his jaw.

“I know you didn't want this; I'm not making it your responsibility,” she explains.

Over and over she’d told this to herself through the first few months; a mantra. He’d made it very clear that there wasn’t a place for her in his life.

“…But she's yours and I couldn't not tell you.”

“She?”

“I have ultrasounds.”

He shifts his weight, eyes flicking back and forth again.

“So if she ain't my responsibility, what does that make me, Elizabeth? A sperm donor?”

The breath leaves her lips like a bullet; head nearly jerking off her shoulders as she shakes it.

“The opposite.”

His eyes narrow.

“What's that mean?”

“I told you, I-I didn't want a baby.” She has to force air into her lungs for the rest: “I wanted yours.”

His lips twist in confusion, in something more, and she swallows.

“I went to get the Pill and I couldn't, I just couldn't knowing I might have a part of you inside me.”

She’d decided to leave it to fate and then – somehow, incredibly – she’d missed her period and from there everything had been a high-speed train.

Now, this, is the first time it feels it’s slowed down— no, stopped. For the first time she feels solid, steady; like there’s stable ground beneath her. 

She can’t read his expression, but his Adam’s apple bobs as he looks back down at her stomach. 

“You got a name?”

“Yeah.” She smiles a little. “In the first trimester I was rereading all my favourites again...”

His lips curve up for the first time as his gaze meets hers again.

“Man, you read Pride and Prejudice cover to cover like once a week.”

“It drove you crazy.”

They’re both grinning now and he steps closer.

“Jane?”

She nods. “Jane.”

Now she feels his hand on her stomach, rubbing gently over.

For a second, she’s so dizzy with its familiarity – and it shouldn’t be; after over a decade, it shouldn’t be – that she feels like she might tip over.

But his eyes, gleaming, ground her all over again.

“That's my kid?”

“Yours,” she whispers.

It seems to make him lose a breath, then he shakes his head.

“Ours.”

Familiar. All over again.

In his eyes she sees their family, the life that had been torn from them so long ago.

When they’re together, she swears to god she can see the future.

She’s blinking rapidly, trying not to cry, and then his hand comes up, slowly moving her hair away from her face.

Her eyes close a second before he kisses her, lips deliberate but tender.

She tastes the salt of her own tear and after a moment, he pulls away to regard her.

Ducking, she tries to hide from his gaze, but he lifts her face up, swiping a thumb along her cheekbone to dry it.

And Beth bites her lip into her mouth but, god, she can’t stop herself.

“Are you happy?”

He snorts a little.

“I been wonderin what I am since the second I heard that message.”

Oh.

It doesn’t _hurt_ , but it smarts.

_Our baby. Shit._

_You're really happy?_

_This is the best day of my life, mami. F'real._

But _now_ is not _then_ – things are different now.

Maybe he notices her reaction, because he blows out a mollifying breath.

“Haven’t really wrapped my head ’round it yet.”

“I get it,” she nods, trying to fight off the disappointment. “I’ve had five months.”

“You shoulda told me.”

“I wanted to wait until…”

She can’t say it.

_Until I was further along than I got with Marcus._

Eyes filled with knowing, he swallows hard.

“I get that.”

As if to escape the moment, his glance goes down, eyes landing on her belly again.

“Shit, I can’t stop lookin at you.”

“Please don’t,” she groans. “I'm ginormous.”

Rio scoffs.

“You're gorgeous.”

She’s not expecting it this time when he kisses her, and it knocks her back a little.

She anchors herself with both hands in his neck as his fingers trace over her collarbone then lower.

He licks over her lips and her mouth opens around a gasp. His hands are at the knot in her belt before she knows it, her body responding to his every touch.

It’s just their heavy breaths in the room when suddenly Annie’s voice cuts through it.

“It's gotten _real_ quiet in there and I just wanted to remind you guys that I'm still here.”

They part, a blush rising to her cheeks as she realises that she’d gotten lost in that – in him – far too quickly.

Rio's face is twisted.

“Can you not be?”

“No!” Annie shouts back through the door, affronted.

“She has a shift soon,” Beth explains.

“Y'all live together?”

Not exactly.

“She moved in to help with...”

Nodding decisively, he gestures with a splayed hand. “A'ight, well, we gonna get you set up.” 

Wait, what?

“Set up how?”

“You don’t gotta worry ’bout that.”

She isn’t sure what to say to that, so she opts to deal with her sister.

“Annie, we’ll be out in a second!”

There’s a sound of complaint muffled by the door, but she ignores it as her eyes go back to him.

She wants to kiss him again; all she can think about is his body and lips against hers.

He smells so good, so familiar, and it brings with it a feeling, an assurance: it's going to be ok. She doesn’t have to worry anymore. Doesn't have to be plagued with guilt anymore, by—

He kisses her, short but hard, then again and again over and over until it’s softening and their lips are touching tenderly, magnetically; like parting is impossible. Until they’re just brushing lightly, foreheads pressed together, breaths mixing.

One of his hands is on her stomach, the other cradling her face.

She’s forgotten how he can do that – hold her in his palm the same way he does the world. How he can make her feel like his whole world.

“Marry me.”

Beth’s eyes fly open and god, her heart.

Is it beating?

Why is her chest aching; how does she make it stop?

She doesn’t know how to breathe or blink or make her heart beat. Her chest is on fire, burning with the ache, and his eyes are open now too as he waits for an answer.

She tries to open her mouth, but it’s numb; fails to lift her lead tongue.

Then Annie bursts into the room.

“Um, guys... Why is there a small army outside?”

Beth blinks hard, simultaneously trying to process her sister’s words and pull herself out of the moment she’d interrupted.

She labours a breath into her lungs before forcing her gaze to her sister.

“W-what?”

“I was looking out and saw this, like, death squad,” Annie explains.

Rio’s eyes move from her for the first time, but only barely, settling somewhere above her shoulder.

“It's cool, they with me.”

“You have a death squad?” Annie frowns.

He sighs, still not turning around, like maybe she will leave and they can resume what had been.

“Protection detail.”

“You travel with private security?”

“Plus some o' my own guys.”

If her sister were even half perceptive, she’d hear Rio’s annoyance; his clenched jaw. Instead she just comes closer, frown even deeper.

“ _Who_ are you, again?”

Rio grinds his teeth harder, but the thing is... it's a good question.

Physically, Beth has never felt in danger with him. He’d bought her a gun but it had never left the safe, and there’d been a panic button in the apartment, but it had all just been theoretical; in case.

What had come between them then was the mental strain. The stress on her mind was what had caused the miscarriage.

But things are different now.

Hearing Annie call it a death squad... Remembering him saying he doesn’t go out to eat in restaurants... The look in his eyes now. It makes the hair on her arms stand up straight and the gut instinct hits her like a brick wall.

She has to protect her.

“You should go.”

“’Scuse me?” he frowns, brows knitting.

“You were right,” she breathes. “I can’t be part of your world.”

It hurts to admit; tears her apart to say. But now there is something more important than them.

“I want this baby, Rio. More than anything in this world. I want to meet her. And what you do...” She shakes her head; swallows hard. “I can't lose her. I _won't_.”

“I can keep you safe.”

And it sticks in her throat, but she forces it past her lips: “That’s not what you said five months ago.”

_I still do what I do. It ain’t as crazy no more, but it’s still just as dangerous. I ain’t putting you through that again._

His eyes flash.

“Things are a lil different now, ain’t it?”

“Yes, they are. And just you being here right now is endangering all of us.”

Her gaze drops to where her hand is instinctively splayed across her stomach and his follows as he scoffs.

“You think about that 'fore you decided to go ahead and do this?”

It’s a punch in the gut but she refuses to let it show, lifting her chin.

“This is my baby. I let you know because it was the right thing to do. Now I’d like you to leave.”

He stares at her for a long moment, unblinking, and the betrayal in his eyes – god, it nearly breaks her.

Then he nods, slowly, as he backs away.

When he’s out of the room, she sinks down onto the bed, her knees – her shoulders – no longer capable of bearing its load. Annie's saying something but it's all she can do just to hear the blood rushing in her ears.

Yet when the front door slams, her body jolts with it.

Familiar. All over again.

But things are different now.

Then she’d been empty; without. Now her womb is full, her baby safe. She will keep it that way – whatever it takes, she will keep it that way.

Then it had been the first time she’d made him leave.

Now, she hopes, it will be the last.

* * *

_“BETH!!!”_

_Beth nearly jumps at her sister hollering her name from the other room._

_“What’s wrong?” she calls back._

_“Nothing! We’re done! Come look!”_

_She can’t help a grin making its way onto her face as she drops the spoon she’d been unboxing. While she’d been on unpacking duty, Annie and Rio had spent the entire weekend in the nursery, forbidding her from entering._

_She knocks on the door now, trepidatious. Not that she doesn’t trust them – well, ok, maybe she doesn’t_ a hundred percent _trust them with this, especially given the amount of bickering that had come from the room over the past three days._

_But she gasps when Annie pulls the door open._

_Two of the walls are solid aquamarine while the third has alternating vertical stripes. The fourth is a chalkboard wall with drawings painted onto it at the bottom._

_Annie goes over to it like she’s the designated tourist guide._

_“Hand-drawn by yours truly – I mean, obviously. Your boyfriend has zero artistic skill,” she finishes under her breath._

_“Over here we’ve got Humpty Dumpty – is he an egg; is he the king? Who knows.” She points at a different set: “Hansel and Gretel – those mouthbreathers – and that gross tentacley guy from Pirates of the Caribbean.” She grins proudly. “It’s not the Sistine Chapel but it’s not_ not _the Sistine Chapel.”_

_Rio rolls his eyes as she continues._

_“This is a chalkboard for if your kid gets the good genes – otherwise Sadie can use it once they’re in here together.”_

_It’s a glare from Rio now as Annie moves across to one of the solid colour walls._

_“We're gonna do Sadie's height on this wall. And then Marcus' next to it once he, you know,_ has height _.” She points. “I’m thinking the crib against that wall.”_

_And Beth has to rub her hands over her arms to make the goosebumps go away; has to blink a little harder._

_It’s a home._

_In her mind, furniture springs to life. The crib against the striped wall like her sister suggested – the changing table over there; a chest of drawers over on that side. Once Marcus is sleeping through the night, Sadie’s bed over here. A toy chest near the chalkboard wall._

_This is_ her home _._

_It’s been so long since she’s felt that. Felt truly connected to any place._

_And suddenly she’s ashamed at how she’s been dragging her feet unpacking. She wants, in this moment, for it to all be in place and right and hers. Just like this room._

_She feels like she can breathe again, she’s no longer drowning. She feels solid, steady; like there’s stable ground beneath her._

_There’s concern in his eyes when Rio comes over to lay a hand on her arm._

_“Hey. You ok?”_

_Realising she’s been wide-eyed and silent for longer than she’d realised, Beth lets herself smile._

_“I’m better than ok.”_

_He opens his mouth but Annie speaks first._

_“Well, do you like it?”_

_“I love it.” She laughs, overwhelmed. “It’s perfect.”_

_She knows she’s crying a little too when she feels Rio’s arms wrap around her from behind, squeezing her tightly to his body._

_“It’s perfect,” she says again, softer, tasting salt at her lips._

_She looks down at Rio’s hands on her. There’s some dried paint on his fingers and she weaves hers through them._

_And when she imagines the crib again, there’s a little bundle in it making soft noises in his sleep. Them standing, just like this, watching over._

_“Everything’s perfect.”_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has had a bit of a slow start, but this chapter finally sets up the plot for the rest of it. Hope you enjoy :)

“Another two decafs, thank you.”

Andrew’s warm gaze moves from the waiter to her and Beth meets it, smiling as they’re left alone.

“Thanks again. This has been really nice. And the chocolate cake is as good as you promised.”

“Thank _you_ for finally letting me treat you.”

“I wasn’t sure if you were serious or not.”

It’s a lie. He’d made his interest very clear – she just hadn’t known if she could actually go through with it.

“Are you kidding me? Is there a guy who _doesn’t_ want to go on a date with you?”

She looks up from under her eyelashes, playing at coyness.

“This is a date?”

“…I hope so.”

The waiter brings them their drinks, forcing the topic to drop for a moment.

But he smiles small and hopeful when she’s gone.

“Though I’d like to take you to dinner, too.”

Good. This is good, Beth. It’s what you were hoping for.

“I’d like that, but…”

Her uncertainty forces a crack in the charade, sincerity peeking through for the first time.

“My situation isn’t exactly a normal one.”

His light brown eyes consider her for a moment as he seems to think over his words, and it makes her lower her gaze to her coffee.

As if aware she's being discussed, Jane shifts, the fluttery feeling in her belly akin to the anxiety Beth's suddenly experiencing.

But then he speaks and it’s quiet; careful.

“If I’m honest, I wondered if that’s why you kept turning me down. Is… the father still in the picture?”

She swears to god she’s about to say no, looking up – and then she can’t say anything.

Because the father is suddenly _very much_ in the picture and Beth nearly chokes on her own spit.

“Are you ok?”

Looking away so he won’t follow her gaze, she does her best to stay calm.

“Uhhhh, uh, yeah, y-yeah, fine, I just – I just remembered that— Nothing, I’m sorry. Go on.”

She clears her throat, flames licking at her neck as he stares at her in bewilderment.

“…That was a weird reaction.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just that he is – out of the picture, I mean. But, sometimes, he just… _pops up_ out of nowhere.”

She sneaks a glance over his shoulder, where Rio is leaning back against the café wall like he owns the goddamn place.

Andrew frowns in concern. “That has to be frustrating.”

“Oh, you have no idea.”

God, she has to do something.

He’s speaking but she isn’t registering any of it as her limbs move, twisting her body over so she leans down to get her phone out of her bag.

“It’s my sister,” she lies, pretending to answer it. “Hello?”

Her eyes meet Rio’s over Andrew’s head, his head cocking like he’s trying to figure out what she’s doing.

She looks away.

“Slow down,” she tells a non-existent distraught Annie. “Are you ok? Calm down. I’m at the café across the street with Andrew. Hold on.”

She presses the phone away a little, Andrew frowning.

“Guy trouble?”

Resisting the urge to glare at Rio again, she nods.

“Something like that. She wants to come meet me here, would you mind—”

“No problem,” he nods, already standing.

She waits till he’s gone before setting her phone down with a sigh.

She takes a long sip of her coffee before looking up again, catching sight of Rio weaving through the tables to get to hers, pace a casual saunter as if they’d planned to meet up like this.

And now she can’t break the gaze; can barely breathe as he gets closer.

His expression is mostly smug, but there’s something else there too. Anger, she thinks.

“Who was that?”

He takes Andrew’s seat easily, eyes not leaving her.

“What are you doing here?” she lobs back, fuming.

He was supposed to have left town. She'd thought he had. She'd hoped he had.

Rio shifts around on his chair restlessly before settling, achieving a sudden sphinx-like still. She guesses it's supposed to be scary.

“Who was that?”

Beth straightens her back.

“I thought I told you to leave.”

“Who was that?”

Realising he isn’t going to let up, she lets out a heavy breath.

“A friend.”

“You look at all your friends like that?”

“Who I look at and how I look at them has nothing to do with you.”

“Right, right.” He folds his hands in front of him. “That why you chased him away with whatever lil story you spun?”

She bristles. “I asked him to leave because you’re acting like a child and I knew you wouldn’t leave until you got the attention you wanted.”

His smile is slow and humourless; pointed.

“A child.”

Her hand goes to her stomach on impulse but, before she can say anything, the waiter appears.

“I see you found your friend.”

Rio’s smile goes wide, unfiltered, as if he’s known this woman for years.

“Yeah, I found her, thanks. We go way back.”

Beth meets his look with a glare as the waiter continues, oblivious.

“Can I get you anything?”

“Yeah, get this outta here, thanks,” he gestures at Andrew’s coffee. “And can I get some o’ that chocolate cake in the window? Looks delicious.”

“Coming right up,” she grins, nodding.

Beth watches her take the coffee away and wishes she could take her guilt with her too.

This. This was why she’d hesitated for so long. Because as long as Rio exists, no one else can.

She’d thought it was all in her mind but him here, now, proves that isn’t the case.

“So you must got this all figured out, right?” he breaks her from her thoughts.

“Excuse me?”

He scoffs. “You forget I know you, darlin; ’member the plottin you used to help me with. What, you wanna set up your lil librarian ‘friend’ as the dad?”

And, god, it's crossed her mind. But it aggravates her that he knows, that that's the first thing he'd guessed.

“He’s an accountant.”

He shrugs.

“Keeps books.”

She lets out a breath.

“All I want is to meet my child. As long as she's safe, nothing else matters.”

It sounds good. It feels right.

The reality is a little harder.

“Like I don't want that?”

“No, it doesn't seem like you do. Or you wouldn't be here right now.”

His eyes harden, jaw tough.

God, he's so sexy. Back in the day she would sometimes rile him up on purpose just for that response. He hadn't been a fan of the tactic, but he had liked what would follow.

“And when the kid don't come out snow white, what then, huh? How's that gonna be for the visuals?”

The words hurt – all she wants is for their child to look just like him.

Those cheekbones and piercing eyes. The perpetual half-tilt of his determined mouth. To look at the person she loves most in this world and be reminded of the other – the one she couldn’t keep. It’s the best possible version of the future she imagines so often now.

Still. For anyone looking, Jane might not seem like Andrew's, but that doesn't mean they'd know who her father really is.

“Nobody can link me to you – unless, you know,” she gestures around them, “someone actually _sees us together_.” He opens his mouth to speak, but suddenly she's flaming hot. “Why are you even here? When I begged you to stay, you said you couldn't. Now you won't leave me alone?”

He’s quiet, looking down for a second before meeting her gaze again.

“Told you I'd never leave my kid.”

And it takes her right back to that night; drowns her in the memory of him wrapped around her as he promised he’d never leave her, his hand splayed across her stomach.

_This is the best day of my life, mami. F'real._

_Now you can’t go anywhere._

_Who said I was goin someplace?_

_I don’t know. I guess it’s a fear I’ve had since we met._

_I seem like some kinda flake?_

_It’s just that… my dad left._

_I know._

_And you make me happy. And it feels like there’s a time limit on that._

_I’d never leave my kid._

_I know._

She blinks hard like it could clear the frog from her throat.

“I don't know what you want me to say.”

“That you'll stop being so damn stubborn and lemme set you up somewhere.”

It’s a learned reflex – an old one, nearly forgotten – when she scoffs.

“ _You’re_ calling _me_ stubborn?”

And there’s something familiar – measured – about the way he relaxes into his chair, too; smile slow and flirty.

“Maybe I taught you everything you know.”

Something rises inside her, even hotter than the anger and irritation; even more enveloping than the uncertainty and danger he’s brought with him.

Shifting in her seat, she scoffs.

“You wish.”

Whatever he’s about to say is cut off by the cake arriving, glittering with ganache.

He digs into it an instant after thanking the waiter and Beth looks around desperately, trying to work out how the hell she’s going to get out of the very particular and very fucked up situation she’s in.

But her attention is drawn back by the clang of the fork against the plate, Rio pulling a face.

“Yours is better.”

This strikes her somewhere deep and she forces herself not to turn crimson; forces herself to believe that she can _handle this_.

“If I hear you out, will you leave?”

If he goes, she’ll be able to think straight again. If he goes, she can escape this with her dignity intact.

Pushing the plate away, Rio scoffs.

“Which part of ‘I ain’t leavin my kid’ ain’t stickin?”

There it is – the determined tilt. The gravelly tone; the knitted brows. And, god, it’s not helping.

“So you’re gonna ‘set me up somewhere’?” she repeats with the most mocking tone she can manage.

Which isn’t much, in her state, and he seemingly interprets it as a willingness to listen.

Shifting forward in his seat, he leans over the table.

“It don't gotta be here, it don't even gotta be with me. You could be in the Swiss Alps, in the Caribbean, anywhere you want. I'll get you a live-in doctor, everything you need.”

God – that's the kind of money he's making? Her eyes flick over his lips and beard, the wet of his mouth.

“But you'd visit?”

Jane, Jane. Think of Jane.

“She's mine, Elizabeth.”

She stares back at him, trying so goddamn hard to fight it.

“I won't bring nothin back wit’ me, I don't make the same mistake twice. And no one's gonna find you, I promise you that. Your sister can come and I'll make sure—"

“Rio,” she breathes. “Shut up and take me in the bathroom.”

She waits only to see his reaction – his jaw slackening in surprise – before jolting out of her chair and making a beeline for the bathroom.

Her body is shaking a little – it’s been bad before but never quite like this. Now _he’s_ here.

Usually the need comes first – it’s why she’d said yes to Andrew; why she’d wanted the dinner – and at that point, really, anyone will do.

But he’s different. (He’s always been.) He’d precipitated the need; lit the spark, and now the fire is turbulent within her and she can no longer give a fuck about dignity because she needs—

He throws the door open and she spins away from the mirror, watching him close it; jerks her chin to make him lock it.

He does and she goes to undo the buttons her dress but then he’s on top of her, taking her lips with his. She hears buttons spatter onto the floor and then his hand is inside her bra, drawing broken moans that she can barely believe are coming from her own mouth.

Her hands go down to his belt and she bites into his lip hard, causing a whine that goes straight between her legs.

“Fuck, I hate when you get like this,” he breathes against her lips.

She doesn’t reply, doesn’t think, as she gets him free, her heart pounding in her chest with how suddenly empty she feels. She can no longer give a fuck about dignity because she needs him inside her.

Forcefully she untangles from him then twists around, pressing both palms against the sink.

For a second she catches sight of herself in the mirror – dress hanging from her chest, breast spilling from her bra, face flushed and lipstick everywhere.

Then he’s hitching up her dress and none of the rest matters anymore. They aren’t them, they aren’t this; they aren’t here, now.

* * *

_Beth looks herself over in the bathroom mirror._

_She’s wearing her new little black dress, which might turn out to be a little too formal, but Ruby had said to dress up; that it’s not every day you buy your dream house with the love of your life._

_She runs her hands over the lace hem then over her hair, which Annie had pinned up with a few face-framing bits of red locks dangling down. She looks nicer than she has in a while, which makes her smile. Life has been unpacking and cleaning for what feels like forever – just today she’d finally finished sorting out the bathroom, organising her and Rio’s stuff in the cabinets above their respective sinks so he can’t keep complaining about his roll-on going missing._

_She smacks her lips one last time then grabs her purse and heads into the bedroom._

_Rio’s sitting on the bed, tying his shoelaces, and it brings her to a stop._

_He hardly ever dresses like this and it’s shocking – in a good way. Her gaze goes from his fingers working at the thin laces on the dress shoes up to the dark blue blazer he’s wearing over the black henley._

_He looks up when he’s done, expression blooming as he catches sight of her._

_“Damn.” He sucks in a breath. “That’s a look, ma.”_

_She smiles, gesturing at him._

_“You too.”_

_He stands with a frown, looking down at himself none too impressed._

_“F’real?”_

_“Yeah, you look so respectable.”_

_Now he looks up, lips curving lewdly._

_“Looks can be deceiving.”_

_“That’s true,” she nods, biting her lip into her mouth a little as he approaches._

_His hands trace the outline of her body, landing on her hips. He uses the grip to turn her around so they can look at themselves in the full-length mirror he’d set up this morning._

_She leans back against his chest with a content breath._

_“We look good together.”_

_It’s not a common thought for her –_ mismatched _is the descriptor that comes to mind more often than not._

 _But now things are different. Because it doesn’t matter if they match anymore – they’re linked and one day it won’t matter how pastel and pale she is compared to his tattoos and all-in-black everything. They’ll be walking down the street with their child between them,_ linked _._ _E_ _ven now, looking at them, she sees that. With him, she always sees the future._

 _“Naw,” he disagrees, “_ you _look good.”_

_She rolls her eyes a little, mostly for show, then tips her head so he can kiss her. It’s soft, lasting only a few seconds as Rio pulls back so he can take her in again._

_His hands resume roaming her form, too, and for a while they just stare at the picture they make._

_They’ve been moving out or in for so long that they haven’t had a moment just to pause. And tomorrow they have to go shopping to finish furnishing their bedroom, so maybe another moment like this won’t be here for a while. She breathes it in._

_Rio’s fingers come to a stop over the outside of her thighs, where the hem of her dress sits high and near skin-tight._

_“So you got a thing for Ruby’s hubby or did I do somethin to deserve seein you in this?”_

_She represses the urge to shoot him a glare since it’s true, she doesn’t normally wear very form-fitting things, but—_

_“I think I’m going to start showing soon.”_

_Her gaze takes in her stomach that’s currently somewhere between normal and post eating a huge meal._

_She hadn't even been clothing-shopping when she'd seen the dress in the store, recoiled on reflex, then realised maternity wear is in her not-too-distant future and plucked up the tight-fitting off-the-shoulder dress._

_Rio lets out a heavy breath._

_“Man, I can’t wait.”_

_One of his hands moves to splay over her stomach, thumb rubbing slowly._

_He does it often, so it shouldn’t really come as a surprise that he’s excited for her bump. Yet it does anyway, warming her from the inside out._

_But he pulls away, heading to the bathroom, and she blinks, swallows; realises she wants more of him._

_“You got hairspray or some shit in there?” he juts a thumb._

_She shakes her head and he mumbles appreciation before heading into the bathroom._

_Beth looks down. For a brief moment earlier, seduced by the dress, she’d considered wearing pumps and they’re still perched on the floor in front of the mirror. Not stopping to think, she slips off her ballet flats then wrestles her way into the heels._

_She’s just gotten them on when Rio exits the bathroom, heading back to the bed to collect his phone and wallet._

_“You ready to get goin?”_

_“Not at all.”_

_He spins around, brow raised, probably because they’re already dangerously close to running late._

_He opens his mouth but, before he can speak, she pulls up her dress a little then reaches under. His jaw shuts audibly when her panties slide down her thighs, the black lace finding a soft landing on top of the heels._

_He swallows, the bird on his throat bobbing, and then in three long strides he’s in front of her._

_“I hate when you get like this,” he growls._

_“Hate or love?” she asks breathily._

_Because he’s already pulling her dress and bra down to pinch at her nipple, his other hand blazing up between her legs. She moans when he parts her folds without preamble, making her trip backwards. He lets her, pushing her up against the mirror. The backs of her thighs feel the cool of it just as he spreads heat between them._

_Her eyes fall closed as he adds another finger and twists harder at her nipple._

_“Kiss me,” she sighs._

_“What ’bout your lipstick?”_

_She opens her eyes to glare at him and he cants forward with a chuckle that dies against her mouth as she opens it for him. He kisses her hard then opens her neck, pressing deeper into her as he lays hot deliberate kisses down and onto her shoulder._

_“Got a good mind to fuck you right here,” he murmurs into her collarbone._

_She clenches around his fingers but shakes her head._

_“Take me on the bed.”_

_Before he can reply, there’s a rough knock on the bedroom door._

_“Please tell me you’re ready?”_

_God. Annie._

_It had completely slipped her mind that she and Sadie are going with them to the housewarming._

_But Rio doesn’t remove his fingers from her, opting to just yell over his shoulder._

_“Yeah, not exactly. Take a lap.”_

_“_ Ugh _!” she groans through the door. “You guys are gross; I’m getting a cab.”_

_There’s stomping and their eyes meet as they wait._

_When the front door slams, Beth makes them disentangle before grabbing onto his arms for support. Carefully she lifts each heel, shaking her panties off them._

_He kisses her the instant they’re gone, harsh and impatient, and she has to pull herself away, putting space between them as she peels her dress up, bunching it at her stomach._

_Rio’s eyes burn as he watches and she blinks back like she’s innocent, like she doesn’t get off on him fiending for her._

_Twisting around, she grabs some pillows to support her as she hears him undress. Then she climbs onto the bed on her knees, the heels up in the air as she parts her legs._

_“_ Fuck," _he breathes._

_Rio’s behind her in a second, fingers sinking into her thighs almost vengefully. She wiggles her ass, looking for him, but then suddenly he’s pushing inside her and her body quivers._

_“_ Fuck _,” she chokes out._

_She whines out his name and then he’s slipping out to press back in, a little harder. Yes._

_Her eyes close as her mouth starts forming around_ yes _over and over again; as he murmurs how much he loves her like this; as their bodies meet louder and louder._

* * *

They’re silent as they clean up.

She realises quickly that she’ll have to hold the top of her dress together to get out of here – thank god she has a spare outfit in the back at work. Its intended use was more for ink spills than broken buttons scattered across the floor of a restaurant bathroom, but she’s reserving the self-judgement for later.

When they’re done, she feels his eyes on her even as she tries to avoid them. Tries to busy herself with fixing her makeup then neatly re-applying her lipstick.

But he still doesn’t say a thing and eventually she’s done and there’s no more avoiding. It’s the ice cream in the freezer all over again, except this time she’s wishing he _would_ leave.

God, it would all be so much simpler. It would hurt, too – again – but by now she’s practised at it.

No, this time he doesn’t want to leave. This time he wants to stay. This time he wants to talk and compromise; do everything she can’t risk.

“The life you're promising me, it sounds lonely.”

Not that her social circle now is huge. But there's Lucy and her regular customers – both at the shop and of her baking. She's managed to carve out a tiny community for herself and she remembers craving exactly that when they'd been together. People outside of only Ruby and Annie who cared about her; whom she could talk to about her life. Whom she could buy a cup of coffee for and talk about the weather or what they'd watched on TV last night. Normal life. 

“Four months, momma.”

She turns around to meet his eyes.

“Ok, and after that?”

He watches her for a long moment, as if he has the answer; as if he’ll find it.

Then he looks away.

“Fuck.”

“I want to stay," she breathes. "Protect me here.”

His gaze comes back to hers.

“And?”

She blinks.

“And what?”

He doesn't say anything, just looks at her, and she swallows.

It’s her own fault for bringing him in here – but the self-judgement is for later. Now she has to draw boundaries; set straight her own mixed signals.

“I can't be with you."

God. 

God, it hurts just to say.

"Not until she's here.”

“And after that?”

Fuck. What _does_ happen then?

She takes a step back till the line of the sink is digging into her back like the barrel of a gun, forcing her to speak.

“I guess then you sue me for custody.”

The look he shoots her is hurt, unmitigated.

Then it morphs into disgust, too, and he spits out a breath before turning away, hand on the doorknob.

“Here's what I know.”

He stops. Freezes.

“I'm crazy hormonal,” she admits with a rush of air. “It's even worse than it was then.”

And now he turns back, brow raising as he puts all the pieces together.

The way she’d brought him in here; the way he'd caught her looking at Andrew.

“So he a john, not a friend?”

He's smirking now, teasing, and she breaks into a smile in spite of herself.

“Shut up. You have no idea what this feels like, ok? It's like a craving but...”

“Yeah,” he saves her from a deep blush that's already beginning.

And it is embarrassing – him knowing the real reason she’d been on a date; her real goal – but the air around them is also less heavy now.

Like she can breathe – like maybe they both can – for a second without the weight of the future and all its too-tough questions.

Leaning against the door, he watches her carefully.

“So you want, what?”

“You. This.” She shrugs helplessly. “That's all I have to offer. I've been handling it by myself so far but—"

He clicks his tongue.

“Text me when you need me.”

And then just like that he’s gone, the door slamming behind him.

* * *

_“God, I love this house so much,” Beth notes again._

_The view from the patio is so pretty, the neighbourhood’s lights sparkling in the dusk. The kids are in Sara's room inside, but they’d decided to end the night here – they’re having Stan’s family over tomorrow and Ruby had said she’ll keel over if she has to wipe down one more surface again._

_Ruby and Stan grin._

_“That’s what Ruby said – followed by ‘We’re getting a divorce if we don’t buy it’.”_

_They’re all laughing when Stan pops up, his smile still wide._

_“Can I get you guys a refill?”_

_“More juice, please,” Beth nods. “And he’ll have a chardonnay.”_

_“No, I won’t,” Rio rolls his eyes. “I’m good, actually; thanks, man. I’m driving.”_

_Now she’s the one to roll her eyes._

_“I told you I can drive.”_

_Rio’s head whips back to her and they’re a second away from breaking into a whisper argument when Stan’s head cocks._

_“Hold up – Beth, since when are you on juice all night_ and _designated driver?”_

_The silence is heavy between the five of them, two seconds ticking by with literal crickets in the background as she bites into her lip._

_Then she exhales._

_“I’m pregnant.”_

_“NO!” Stan shouts. “What??”_

_“Yeah,” she smiles._

_“What the fuck?! Congratulations!”_

_They stand to receive his hugs and he’s just finished this when it seems to dawn on him that he’s the only one standing._

_He looks from Annie to his wife._

_“You both knew??”_

_Ruby holds her hands up in defence as Beth rushes to explain._

_“It’s really, really early._ All _the people who know are here right now.”_

_His smile re-igniting, Stan shakes his head, looking at each of them._

_“The three damn stooges.” He slaps Rio’s arm. “I hope you’re ready, man. You’re officially in now and these three are_ trouble _.”_

_Rio laughs good-naturedly._

_“I hope so too.”_

* * *

“Wait, let me get this straight. You're in a friends-with-benefits relationship with the father of your unborn child? God, sis, how horny are you?”

“I can’t believe you dialled her in,” Beth grumbles, deciding not to respond to her sister's dig as she points at Ruby on FaceTime.

Annie scoffs. “I needed backup.”

“Well, you’re making it sound worse than it is.”

“Sounds pretty bad, babe,” Ruby shrugs.

She goes to the fridge to get a bottle of water.

“There was a situation. I handled it.”

“Did you?” Annie questions. “Or did you just fall into another fog?”

“What fog? There was never any fog!”

“ _Right_ ,” she rolls her eyes. “Listen, I know what this is about – this is because he was your… you know. No judgement, ok! We’ve been all there.”

Beth rolls her eyes.

“You know he wasn’t my first, Annie.”

“Yeah, but there’s your first and then there’s your _First_.”

“Gross.”

“I’m not the one who had sex in a café bathroom… for once.”

“Gross,” Ruby pulls a face.

“The point is,” Annie rolls her eyes, “there was _definitely_ a fog. The first six months you guys were together, it was like you were drinking straight paint thinner.”

Her mouth falls open.

“That’s not true! Ruby!”

Her best friend, looking like she’s been caught in headlights, hesitates before offering a measured response.

“You were… reckless. Some may say unhinged – I won’t.”

Beth gasps. “You were talking about this behind my back?”

Ruby has the decency to look ashamed but Annie’s face just scrunches up.

“Is it considered ‘behind your back’ if you’re dating a gangbanger? Or is it just expected conversation?”

And now she remembers what had changed six months in.

Her chest aches with it but she shakes her head, chasing the memory away.

“You know what? It doesn’t matter. Because what’s happening now has nothing to do with our relationship then. _This_ is purely strategic – I needed a plan. I mean, it’s his child, he _does_ have rights.”

“Just spitballing here, but maybe you shouldn’t have reminded him of that.”

“Oh my god, you weren’t there!” After taking a calming breath: “He wasn’t going to leave. I had to show him we were at a stalemate and introduce a compromise. To buy time.”

She’s proud of how considered this comes out, both of them stumped for a good few seconds as they think it over.

“…So you aren’t actually going to take him to court?” Ruby asks, eyes narrowed.

“No! Of course not.”

“Good, I’m glad you can see how dumb that would be.” Annie snorts. “Because you’d lose big time.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Beth glares.

She rolls her eyes. “I’m sure you’ll be a great mother. What I’m saying is that you don’t have the money for fancy lawyers or to buy off a judge or whatever.”

Shit. As much as she hates to admit it, her sister’s right. But…

“He wouldn’t do that.”

That had been the basis of the stalemate – one option on the table, something she knew he’d never consider.

She’d given herself the upper hand, at the cost of – god. At the cost of every ounce of respect he’d still had for her.

Annie whistles lowly. “You know, I have to hand it to you: you’re the only person I know who has a quickie in a bathroom with a masterplan attached to it.”

“It’s not a masterplan,” she glares. Then, clearing her throat: “Yet.”

She has to protect her.

Whatever he thinks of her doesn’t matter. Shouldn’t matter.

“You do know this isn’t _How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days_ , right? This is a real-life gangster whose real-life baby you’re carrying.”

“I hate to say this, but I agree with her,” Ruby sighs. “The guy isn’t just going to abandon his child no matter how many chess manoeuvres you come up with.”

Setting down the bottle of water, she places both hands on her stomach with renewed determination.

“We’re women, we can do anything. And this is Rio. I _know_ him; I know the way he _thinks_.”

They’re quiet for a long moment, exchanging looks, before Ruby clears her throat.

“Ok, as much as I hate to agree with McCrazy right now, I _did_ brainwash Stan into thinking he always wants to buy me something when he’s at the store.”

Annie’s immediately curious: “How'd you do that?”

Ruby shrugs nonchalantly. “Every time he got me something, I’d be in an extra good mood and when he didn’t, I’d act down in the dumps all day. Now he thinks it’s _his genius idea_ to boost my mood with post-shopping treats. I got two doughnuts on the last cereal run.”

And that’s when it clicks.

“That’s exactly what I need to do.”

“What?” they both look at her, eyes wide.

“Get him to leave but think it was his idea.”

Ruby’s right. There’s no way he’ll leave if she makes him – there’s no plan clever enough, no argument rational enough.

He has to believe that it’s the right thing to do. She has to make him believe it.

Finally finished processing, Annie lets out a long rush of breath.

“How the hell are you going to do that?”

“…I have no idea.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This became ridiculously long so it took forever to finish up! I hope you guys enjoy xx

_“This is weird.”_

_Rio looks up with something close to horror on his face._

_“You don’t like it?”_

_She casts an awkward glance around the fancy restaurant, trying to articulate the problem._

_“It’s not bad, it’s just… I didn’t even know you owned a tie.”_

_They don’t really do dates. Mostly they just hang out at his place or hers, sneak off on campus or get White Castle and park somewhere._

_One time he’d taken her to a cocktail bar, but they’d taken a bathroom break together and hadn’t ended up staying long after that._

_This place is even fancier, though – there are numerous forks and wine glasses on the table; a linen napkin on her lap._

_And though Beth’s dressed the part – thank god – she still feels out of sorts; doesn’t really understand what they’re doing here._

_“It’s on loan,” Rio shrugs a shoulder._

_Before she can say anything, the waiter is suddenly at the table again._

_“Have you decided on appetisers?”_

_Oh._

_She’d barely picked up the menu, too distracted by the strangeness, but she does now, clearing her throat as she feels Rio’s eyes on her._

_Snails? Surely they can’t be that gross if people eat them?_

_“Uh, actually, we gotta bounce.”_

_She looks up sharply, first at him then at the waiter, whose features are creased into incomprehension._

_“Excuse me?”_

_“Yeah, we just remembered we got a table somewhere way fancier soooo, yea, we’re out.”_

_He jerks his chin at her and they rush out hand-in-hand, the chain of her purse trailing behind them, like they’re doing something illegal._

_Her cheeks are burning with laughter by the time they make it back to his car and he relinquishes her hand to pull off his tie, dumping it in a trashcan._

_“I thought you got that from someone?”_

_“Prolly found it in a sales bin, I’ll give him back the two dollars.”_

_Leaning back against the car, she smiles._

_“So what now?”_

_He spends a moment taking in her body – the deep V of her strapless dress, the way it hugs her body – then her platform heels. It isn’t exactly White Castle attire._

_“…You thirsty?”_

_She isn’t sure where he’s going with this, but she shrugs._

_“Sure.”_

_“I know a place nearby.”_

* * *

There’s a knock on the door.

Oh, god.

Oh god, he’s here.

Summarily regretting every single decision she’s made to get her to this moment, Beth swings open the front door.

“Hi.”

Rio jerks his chin in greeting and she moves to let him in, heart beating in her ears.

“Do you want something to eat or drink or… something?”

“’Cuz this situation ain’t weird enough?”

She stands frozen, unsure how to proceed. Then he throws out a hand.

“Water.”

He leans back against one of the counters, taking the bottle from her wordlessly. She backs up again, wringing her hands as she watches him, not really sure how to act.

He takes a long swig that he rolls around his mouth, deliberate, as he surveys the apartment.

What’s he thinking as his eyes pass over the modest space, one corner of the already small lounge converted into a makeshift study for Ben? She feels laid bare. Beth likes her place – it’s quaint and she’s proud of what she’d managed to do with it – but under his gaze, it suddenly seems not so different to the shitty one-bedroom apartment she’d had when they’d first met.

Or maybe it has nothing to with what his eyes land on and everything to do with the way time seems to melt away when they’re together.

Finally, slowly, he swallows.

He takes another gulp, eyes landing on her. They assess _her_ incrementally now, limb by limb.

She tries not to fidget; hates how… _unnerving_ he’s become.

Excluding the first few weeks of their relationship, he never used to have the ability to make her feel this out of sorts before.

Now she _really_ feels laid bare – which isn’t far off, considering she’d bravely (stupidly; _stupidly_ ) opted to wear nothing beneath the bathrobe and it’s like he _knows_.

His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, gaze rising back up to her cleavage.

Then he sets down the bottle, its cap beside it. It annoys her and he knows it – they’d had dozens of arguments about all the open bottles everywhere when they’d lived together.

It’s unclear if his goal now is irritation or homage.

He doesn’t give her an opportunity to ask, spinning on his heel and heading toward her bedroom. Swallowing, she follows.

He’s twisted around, waiting for her – watching her – by the time she enters. The backs of his knees pressed against her bed.

Pins and needles rise from her extremities, warm and prickly. God, why had she thought this would be a good idea?

But she closes the door, the click seeming to echo around the room.

She takes a step closer as his eyes flick over her then roam away, taking in the room.

“Yeah, this ain’t gon’ work,” he shakes his head, jaw rocking. “Too bright and shit in here.”

He’s not wrong – fall mid-afternoon sun permeates the room, bright orange; nearly blinding. But she hadn’t closed the curtains because it would’ve made it too dark and she hadn’t thought _that_ would work.

“Do you want me to light candles?” she scoffs.

He shrugs. “Sure.”

Oh.

“Uh, o-ok.”

She goes around shutting all the curtains before searching for the two sole candles she owns – Ben had bought them for her one Mother’s Day. They’re scented but she’s too busy nervously lighting them to remember to check the label for the scent.

The wick on the second one has just caught when suddenly he’s behind her.

Not overwhelmingly so, but _there_. Jeans just barely brushing against her bathrobe.

It’s different, so different to the café bathroom. That had been primal, urgent. No time to think.

This is the opposite.

Slow; too slow. Too much time to think.

One hand lands on her waist and she stiffens instantly. His other pulls back her hair so she feels his breath on her collarbone.

“You gotta relax, momma.”

She tries to; tries to remember the way he’d touched her the last time they’d been together. And it comes rushing back as his lips traverse her shoulder, bringing with it the _want_ she’d had before texting him.

Her body trembles as his hand finds its way beneath the silk, the pads of his fingers just barely grazing the back of her thigh.

A rush of breath escapes her lips as she presses closer to him. He kisses into her neck, mouth cool from the water; free hand snaking around to find the belt around her waist. It unravels as he palms her ass and she gasps, mouth falling open around warm breaths as he nips just below her ear.

She breathes out a _Rio_ as his hands explore her body, one opening her gown to find her breast as the other kneads then traces around. Soft, soft torture.

Her head falls onto his shoulder and he makes a pleased sound.

 _Relaxed_ , she’s relaxed.

And now she remembers the scent of the candles as the warmth of sandalwood envelopes them.

“What do you want?” he whispers into her ear.

“Anything,” she shakes her head, eyes tight. “You.”

It makes its way past her lips before she can help it – familiar, the moment had been too familiar. But before she can take it back, he’s spinning her around, rough, and his mouth crashes into hers.

His grip on her arm is tight, almost painful, but she likes it. Likes that he remembers how much she can take.

Her lips part around his hot tongue and her body is instantly on fire head to toe, the prickles no longer nerves but need; she _needs_ him.

“Now,” she breathes out.

“But—”

“ _Now_ ,” she growls.

He backs up, hands going down to his belt, and she shucks the robe, trying to breathe.

She brings their lips back together when he has his jeans off, the kiss sloppy as she reaches for him; pushes him back with the force of her own body.

His eyes, black, are huge as he looks up at her.

She settles in his lap then slowly, slowly, lowers onto him.

She thinks she stops breathing for a second.

Stops thinking.

* * *

_“Tequila. Bottoms up.”_

_Beth considers the shots he’s set down on the pool table then takes one, downing it._

_It’s warm down her throat, instantly making the dive bar they’re in seem a little further away; a little warmer. She doesn’t feel as many eyes on her; doesn’t have as many memories crowding her brain._

_And so she reaches out and does his shot too, slamming it down as she begins bouncing excitedly._

_“Let’s play.”_

_He pulls a face at the cue she holds out to him._

_“Ain’t my game.”_

_“Ok, so then I’ll re-phrase: let me beat you.”_

_He studies her for a moment before shaking his head with a smile and taking the cue._

_He gestures at the bartender for another two then moves to rack up._

_Beth lets her hair down, dropping the pins to the floor right where she's standing. She’s getting warmer; caring less._

_She likes this version of herself. Likes the look of caution in Rio’s eyes as she bends over and her dress rides up for the viewing pleasure of all the skeevy men in this place._

_But the caution is for them, not her, and she likes that. Likes knowing she’s untouchable._

_She sinks her first ball and her second and Rio isn’t bad, but he’s not great; not as good as her._

_“Who taught you to play?” he wonders._

_“My dad.”_

_The answer is curt, raw; she adjusts her eyes._

_Rio leaves a long silence as their drinks arrive, thanking the bartender before watching her carefully again._

_“You don’t talk about him much.”_

_“What’s there to say?”_

_She still doesn’t meet his eyes but he isn’t put off._

_“He teach you in places like this?”_

_“He wasn’t an alcoholic,” she feels she has to say._

_Such an old habit, defending a man who’d left her to fend for herself._

_“But… yes.”_

_She moves around the table, slowly, scoping out her next move while trying hard not to trip. The heels are brand new and higher than she’s ever worn before, which isn’t a great combination with the now fully settled tequila._

_“We’d spend the whole afternoon at a bar and he’d only nurse one drink the entire day,” she finds herself saying. “He just liked being here. At least that’s what he told me. Later I realised he just liked_ not _being home.”_

_She misses her shot and Rio looks at her for a second too long before lining up for his._

_“He was a lot like my sister.”_

_The words just seem to come, now, too easily from her raw throat._

_“Everyone liked him. Everyone liked talking to him. Liked laughing with him. I guess that’s why they let us both stay for hours on the price of one whiskey.”_

_She’s about to say more when suddenly there’s a hand on her arm and she turns to find a burly guy at least twenty years older touching her._

_“Hey, beauty. Mind if I join?”_

_Vaguely, through the haze, her one thought is:_ god, he’s brave _._

_She’s barely taken a breath, shaking her arm loose, before Rio’s suddenly beside her._

_“Can I help you with somethin?”_

_He lifts his chin, proudly showing off the giant tattoo on his throat._

_The guy shrugs. “Just thought I could join the game. You look like you could do with a third.”_

_The flash is all she sees, swirling in front of her eyes, before suddenly there’s a gun pressed up under his chin._

_“_ What was that _?”_

_All sound drops out of the room, the mechanical click of the hammer echoing like a gunshot._

_“C’mon, fuckin say it again, I wanna hear it.”_

_Beth's transfixed, as if suspended in jelly; warmth prickling at the back of her neck and… and between her legs._

_“Ricky!”_

_It’s the bartender, coming over with his hands up; eyes wide._

_“Ricky. What are you doing, man?” Then, eyes going to Rio: “Put down the gun, ok? He’s drunk.”_

_“Seems fine to me. Fine enough to be layin hands on my girl.”_

_The bartender’s eyes go to her then back to Ricky – who, for his part, looks about to soil his pants._

_“Okay, Ricky, how’s about you apologise to the lady and then I’ll get the rest of this guy’s order, he can leave and we can all move on with our nights alive and well, okay?”_

_Ricky’s eyes stutter from Rio’s to her._

_“I-I’m sorry.”_

_“You get that, honey?” Rio checks._

_Smirking, she shakes her head._

_“I didn’t.”_

_He pushes his gun further into his chin, producing a whimper from Ricky._

_“She didn’t get that, man.”_

_“I’M SORRY!”_

_“Hmm. You wanna leave, mami?”_

_Everybody’s eyes go to her and she takes a second to lean back, like she’s considering._

_“…Ok.”_

_“Then ring us up.”_

_He shoves at Ricky so hard he nearly goes sprawling, the bartender righting him before pulling him away._

_In a minute they’re spilling out of the still-silent bar, her own giggles renting the air._

_“Fuck, you’re crazy,” he whistles into her hair._

_They’re wrapped around each other, mostly because she’d probably be face-down on the sidewalk without his support, and she gasps._

_“Me? I’m not the one who had a gun to someone’s head!”_

_He shrugs. “That’s a Tuesday in my books.”_

_She giggles high and loud, shoving at him a little._

_“Shut up.”_

_He hums then comes to a stop._

_“Wanna go up there?”_

_She draws away from where she’s sprawled into his neck to see what he’s pointing at._

_There’s a raised stone platform with a few benches on it but it’s abandoned – probably because, she suddenly realises, it’s freezing cold._

_“Yeah,” she nods._

_They make it there together and then he supports her as she pulls off her heels._

_“Oh my god, that’s so much better.”_

_He chuckles as he jumps up then holds a hand out for her._

_Once they’re both up, she finally catches sight of what’s in his other hand – what the bartender had been referring to as the rest of their order._

_“You bought the whole bottle?!”_

_Shrugging, he brings the bourbon into the light so they can both examine it._

_“It’s a special occasion.”_

_“That’s my rent for the month,” she notes._

_“So we better enjoy it.”_

_And she grins in spite of herself – spending an obscene amount of money on alcohol for the night feels stupid and reckless and it fills her veins, warmer than the bourbon itself could. Tonight she isn’t anyone’s stand-in mother or responsible older sister or aunt or perfect daughter – she’s just 20 and free and a_ girlfriend. _God._

_“I never wanna go home.”_

_It spills from her lips, unsolicited, and she’s almost nervous as she turns to gauge his reaction._

_But it’s_ him _– him, to whom she can never say anything too crazy or reckless._

_“That’s good, ’cuz we ain’t about to go nowhere.”_

_Her grin widens and she takes the bottle from him then heads over to one of the benches._

_Even through her haze, the unsealing of the bottle is perfectly crisp in her ears and she lifts the bottle to her lips gratefully, taking a long glug. The burn is incredible._

_She passes it once he’s sitting next to her._

_“You’re hot with your gun.”_

_He sniffs in amusement, taking a swig._

_“Yeah?”_

_“Yeah.” Taking the bottle back, she cocks her head. “Would you have killed him?”_

_“Sure.” He looks at her. “If ya wanted me to.”_

_His lips are still a little wet and she reaches out to trace over them._

_He watches her intently, dark eyes sparkling, and then her fingers drop down to his tattoo._

_“That’s pretty fucked up.”_

_“Honey, ain’t we both.”_

_She laughs, hard, and then he does too, the sound carrying on the wind then drifting back a little hollower._

_“You cold?”_

_She takes another long drink, her body feeling weightless._

_“Yeah. But I like it.”_

* * *

She splashes the cold water on her face then her neck.

Once she’s dried off, Beth stares at herself in the mirror. The apples of her cheeks are fiery red.

Clearing her throat, she ties the belt of her bathrobe a little tighter then exits into the bedroom.

Rio’s sitting on the bed, doing up his laces.

Unsure, she gets a little closer before coming to an awkward stop.

He pauses suddenly, meeting her eyes, before his gaze drops.

“You said you had ultrasounds.”

“Y-yeah,” she nods, nearly tripping over her own feet to get to the bedside table.

She blows out the candle first before rifling through the drawer to find the scan.

Rio takes it solemnly and she sinks down next to him, again wondering what he’s thinking.

He doesn’t say anything, nor does his expression give anything away, but his thumb moves slowly over the black-and-white image.

“When's the next one?” he eventually speaks.

“It's on the back.”

She watches him closely, trying to find some hint of what he’s feeling as he flips the picture over to see the information there.

“Cool. I'll be there.”

Oh.

“That's not— I don't think that's a good idea.”

He jumps up.

“Shoulda thought o' that 'fore you didn't take that pill, huh?”

It renders her speechless and she watches him drop it on the bed then check his phone.

“Hmm,” he hums in some sort of satisfaction.

Before she can ask, he’s barrelling out of the room. She hesitates, confused, before following with a huff, finally having managed to unearth indignance.

By the time she catches up, he has the front door open, revealing someone in the hall.

“Elizabeth, you remember—"

“DEMON!”

She rushes over to bury him in a hug and Demon wraps his arms around her, chuckling.

“Hey, Snow White.”

“God, I forgot you called me that. Can't say I've missed it,” she admits, pulling away as he grins. “I have missed _you_ , though. How are you??”

“Good, I'm good.”

“How's the love life?”

He’s sheepish. “I'm engaged now.”

“What? To whom??”

“Yeah, this ain't catch-up time,” Rio interrupts gruffly. “Demon's standin post.”

Blinking, she turns back to him.

“W-what?”

“Then I have one more guy in the street. Both of em go where you go.” His eyes flick over them both. “No distractions.”

She looks from Rio to Demon, whose expression has suddenly gone stony, eyes looking off into the middle of nowhere.

She huffs.

“You're really not going to let him talk to me?”

“Oh, he's free to do whatever he wants.”

Repressing an eye roll, she gestures out to the hallway.

“Rio, you can't just have someone standing outside my apartment all day. Especially – no offence, Demon – someone who looks like him.”

“None taken.”

“It's loitering, someone's gonna call the police.”

Rio shrugs. “Then he'll take care of em.”

Her jaw drops and Rio doesn’t wait for a response, looking back at Demon.

“I want a check-in every hour, on the hour, I don't care if you busy shakin it. Somethin happens to her, you know where I'm comin.”

“Yes, boss.”

“Bullet’ll take night shift.”

_Night shift?_

She scoffs. “This is ridiculous.”

“Naw, this is what you _wanted_ , ’member?” He leans in so he can speak into her ear: “Coulda been in the Caribbean.”

And then he’s gone, leaving behind a gust of wind and a sympathetic-looking Demon.

Sighing, she pulls a face.

“I'm sorry.”

“It's all good. He just wants you safe, Snow. Congrats, by the way.”

Pinking, she places a hand on her stomach.

“Thank you.”

“This one's gonna make it. You got my word.”

“I guess that's the last thing you're gonna say to me, isn't it?”

He smiles, lifting a brow, and she sighs.

“I'll bring you lunch later.”

He nods in thanks and, with another sigh, she shuts the door.

* * *

“ _Demon_?!”

Beth hears her sister’s voice from down the hall and immediately leaps up off the couch towards the front door.

Her hand is on the doorknob when she hears Annie ask him what he’s doing here.

“Annie,” she rips open the door, “I need to speak with you.”

Her sister looks at her, takes in her frazzled expression, then looks back at Demon with a pointed thumb.

“These two, am I right?”

He smirks a little and Beth drags her sister in by the arm before shutting the door.

“How come when I said ‘Rio should know I'm pregnant’, you didn't kick me in the face?”

“You've taken poorly to face-kickings in the past.”

Beth groans. “He's going to make this impossible.”

“What's going on?” she asks with a frown, dropping her things on the counter.

Beth folds her arms with a huff.

“He wants to come to my next appointment.”

Her sister squints back at her, as if waiting for more, then lets out a breath.

“I mean, is that really that crazy?”

“You're taking his side?”

“Look, Gregg thought ultrasounds were optional, so homeboy actually wanting to be there sounds pretty dope to me.”

“It’s not what we agreed to.”

“Wow, the career criminal going back on his word is a plot twist I did _not_ see coming.”

Slumping into a chair, Beth glares at her sister.

“I hate you.”

“Hey, is he going to _pay_ for the doc visit? All I'm saying is, it'll put a pretty penny back in our jar for the month.”

“No! I’m not giving him any more leverage than he already has.”

“His current leverage being the DNA all up in you?”

She grins at Beth’s extra venomous glare then points at the front door with extra glee.

“So we have a bodyguard now?”

“It’s not funny,” she groans.

“It’s hilarious, but I can see how you might be too close to it.”

She begins packing out the groceries she’d brought home before pausing thoughtfully.

“Is this like a nine-to-five thing? And do we have to feed him? And can he take out our trash?”

* * *

_“So…”_

_Beth meets his eyes, lifting a brow._

_He’d been staring at her for a while, gaze heavy, but now finally he seems ready to say whatever’s on his mind._

_Rio bites on his lip as their eyes meet, hesitant, then looks away with a throat clear._

_“You mind if I light up?”_

_She stares, surprised that_ that’s _what he’d wanted to say. It’s not like him to ask permission; seldom does he for the rare times when he smokes._

_But she jerks her chin into a nod and he gets out a cigarette._

_She watches him light it, even draw a few puffs, before speaking._

_“So, what’s the occasion?”_

_“What?”_

_“You said it was a special occasion,” she points out. “You told me to dress up. Took me to a fancy restaurant. What’s the occasion?”_

_All night she’d been trying to figure it out but now the alcohol has numbed away the wariness, emboldening her to just_ ask _._

_He bites on the inside of his cheek, still not looking at her as he smokes._

_She waits, watching his unreadable profile against the night sky._

_Then, finally, he speaks._

_“A while ago, today, I made you scoot over in class.”_

_Beth frowns for a long moment before beginning to do some mental math._

_She gasps when it hits her._

_“Wait – you believe in half-year anniversaries?”_

_“_ No _!” he says too quickly. The he shifts, clearing his throat. “Just figured we’d do somethin nice, y’know. Different. Get you outta those four walls.”_

_Oh._

_She forgets he listens. When she feels like she can’t go on; when the weight on her shoulders becomes too much. It hadn’t been that way with Dean – or, at least, he’d erred more on the verbal side. Once he’d told her to kick Annie out so it would force her to sink or swim._

_Rio, on the other hand, rarely says anything. Maybe that’s why it’s easy to forget that he’s still listening._

_“Yeah,” she admits with a breath, “that has been nice.”_

_She holds out her hand and he passes her the cigarette._

_Pulling her feet up onto the bench, she takes a deep inhale. It’s awful, honestly – she hates smoking; but she likes the way it makes her feel. Like she can do something she hates, something bad for her, if she wants to._

_Or maybe that’s just the way he makes her feel._

_“I can’t believe we’ve known each other six months.”_

_She takes another drag before giving it back to him._

_“’Cuz it feels longer or shorter?” he questions, examining her from the corner of his eye._

_“Both,” she answers honestly. “I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. Like I know you more than I know almost anyone else.”_

_It’s she who habitually holds back – the reason tonight’s the first time they’ve really spoken about her dad._

_Rio tosses the cigarette, the last puff going everywhere but dissipating quickly on the air._

_When it clears, his eyes are trained on hers._

_“But?”_

_“But when I’m with you, it’s like time hurtles. I have more fun with you than I do doing… anything else.”_

_He doesn’t break his gaze._

_“Me too.”_

_“…I guess that’s why the restaurant felt wrong.”_

_He shrugs a shoulder. “For me, whenever I ain’t with you, that’s what don’t feel right.”_

_God._

_It’s too much; too much. Even the liquor can’t dull the deep sorrow that begins in her chest._

_“I want to be with you forever.”_

_But he takes it differently than she means it, features warming in some sort of tender incredulity._

_Fingers on her chin, he pulls her closer and kisses her – softly at first then startlingly hard._

_She can barely withstand the force of it, the hunger. And so she pushes back, places a hand in his neck and kisses him with everything she has in her._

_He moans at the taste of her tongue and it’s all she can hear, the bottle between them hitting the bench vaguer; the sloshing liquid inside near inaudible._

_Then Rio’s hand dips into her dress, icy fingers wrapping around her breast._

_A whimper comes from her throat, ringing out around them._

_God, she needs him. They’re out in public, though, fully visible from the road and not that far away from the bar._

_But she_ needs _him._

_“Do you think we could—”_

_“Yeah,” he breathes out hotly._

You wit’ _me_ , mami. You can do anything.

_Their movements are rapid, limbs everywhere as they shove the bottle away and get her up onto his lap._

_She’s working at the buttons as he pulls a foil wrapper from his pocket and then they’re both pushing his jeans down. He’s still busy with the condom by the time she has her panties off, tossing it around the neck of the bottle of bourbon._

_“Please,” she whines._

_God, she’s_ aching _._

 _But then he grabs her and before she’s really able to follow, he’s inside her and_ oh _._ Oh, god.

 _“_ God, Rio _,” she whimpers into his ear._

_He kisses her but she has to pull away from it, too hot. Everything’s too hot, she needs less; god, she needs less._

_She rips down the cups of her dress, nipples perking in the icy air, and_ yes _, that’s better. Freer; cooler._

_She’s already drawing her hips up when she realises her dress is completely bunched at her waist, the rest of her on display. Hair blowing in the wind; red smeared across her lips._

_It must look feral, pornographic, but it doesn’t stop her._

_Maybe her skin is glowing in the dark; maybe all of Detroit can see all of her. She doesn’t care, with him she doesn’t care._

_“Look at you, mami._ Fuck _.”_

 _He’s staring up_ _at_ _her like she’s a god he’s worshipping, and she sees her divinity in his eyes._

_It makes her hips go faster, her breasts hopping along frantically, and he sucks her nipple into his mouth with a moan._

_She’s whimpering and riding him; breaths seeming to gurgle from her throat, vehicles for pleas like_ Rio _and_ fuck _. He’s cursing too, fingers curling bruises into her ass as he helps her go faster, faster, until her vision is clouding and they’re both a fucking shattered mess._

_And when she catches her breath back, there’s only one thing she can think about._

_“Let’s go again in your car.”_

* * *

They get it down to a fine art.

That, or a well-rehearsed dance; a practised transaction.

She lets him in and they don’t look at each other till they’re in her bedroom, till their mouths are inseparable and she’s moaning with his hand between her legs or hers yanking at his belt.

The room is always dark, now, but one day she can’t stop thinking about his mouth and she leaves a curtain open. And her gaze is intent as she watches him kiss slowly over her stomach then disappear behind it.

He always lets himself out now as she stays in bed, contemplating. Sometimes she thinks about her plan; mostly she just goes over it again in her mind.

Ten minutes after he finishes going down on her, she has to get out her vibrator. Replays the way he’d known, just from the way she was kissing him, what she wanted.

_Want me on my knees for you, ma?_

Sometimes she wants him to stay, wants more, but she doesn’t know how to ask. Doesn’t think that’s a part of the transaction, which is ridiculous but then so is all of this.

And so when he leaves she’s some mix of elated and insecure; wanting and satisfied.

She doesn’t know what she’s doing, not when he’s in her space, living and breathing; as if taunting her for imagining she could restrict him to a hypothetical – _This is Rio. I_ know _him; I know the way he_ thinks – instead of a real-life person who permeates her mind and knows her body like his own. Instead of the father of her baby who melts her with a touch; whose lips feel like home everywhere they land. Instead of the man who’d once been her comfort; her hopes and dreams all wrapped up into one person.

When he’s gone, though, she tells herself she has it under control. He’s different now; she’s different now. He’s frustrating and rude and she has a life of her own. New hopes and dreams. She doesn’t need him – this is hormonal, nothing else. Even the way she can't help thinking back to what they’d used to be, it’s all hormones.

Only, the more she tells herself she has it under control, the more she thinks she may just be playing with fire.

* * *

He’s wearing a tie.

Beth stares in stunned silence and he clicks his tongue, throwing up a hand.

“I got a meeting; I don’t wanna hear it.”

“With Bill Gates?”

But he cuts off her giggles with his mouth and very soon the tie is on her bedroom floor.

She watches him try to redo it afterwards, having to repress a giggle when he turns to her.

“It’s skew.”

“Fuck, I hate these things.”

“Let me do it,” she says, moving closer.

“Thanks,” he mutters.

Sitting up on her knees, she starts undoing it as she tries to remember how ties work. Ben can do a spectacular one all by himself, so she’s never had to intervene.

“Must be an important meeting.”

“Investments; that sorta thing,” he shrugs. “Gotta make sure those fatcats respect ya.”

She lets out a small sound of irritation as the tie comes out skew again and she has to start over.

“I didn’t know you were an investments kind of person.”

“Got a kid on the way; gotta start movin different.”

She doesn’t know how to respond to this, but luckily she’s distracted by the way he’s begun restlessly shifting.

“Can you _stop moving_ right now?”

“You’re takin foreverrr,” he groans like a child.

It’s familiar enough to make the corner of her lips quirk up. There'd been times when he'd been too injured to shave for himself and it had gone just like this.

“Well, this isn’t exactly in my area of expertise.”

Rio snorts. “Ya mean you didn’t do up carman’s ’fore he went into that hellhole every day, _Ms Boland_?”

“I’m not dignifying that with a response.”

“Smart,” he smirks.

Finally finished, she sits back on her haunches to study her work. It’s not bad – not as good as Ben’s, but probably better than the original knot Rio had arrived with. 

“Remember that night you took me to that French restaurant? You wore a tie.”

That knot had been even worse, she recalls. At least he’s gotten incrementally better.

He squints. “When?”

And now she wishes she hadn’t brought it up.

_The first six months you guys were together, it was like you were drinking straight paint thinner._

Clearing her throat, she averts her gaze a little.

“Our six-month anniversary.”

“Oh.”

The silence stretches, nebulous, before eventually he scoffs, drawing her gaze back.

“Yeah,” he runs a finger past his nose. “Yeah, I was gonna tell you I loved you that night.”

Her eyes widen. “Really?”

“Uh-huh.” 

She watches as he stands to pull his blazer back on.

“I had no idea.”

“F’real?” he arches a brow. “Man, I thought for sure you knew.”

Her lashes flutter as she looks up at him.

“So why didn’t you?”

Rio shrugs.

“I was twenty and stupid and it seemed lame.” After a second of consideration: “Thought you might kick me to the curb.”

She smiles. “You probably weren’t wrong about that.”

And she’s teasing but, thinking back, it’s not completely untrue. Much as Beth would hate to admit it, her sister hadn’t been wrong.

He laughs a little. “Y’know, I’m surprised you remember that night at all. You were bombed.”

“What?” she scoffs, feigning extra offence. “I remember everything about that night!”

In an instant his features straighten out, all amusement gone.

“Everything?”

Oh. Oh, no.

And maybe she blinks a little faster; swallows a little harder.

Fire; she's playing with fire.

“Everything.”

* * *

_She’s spent when she collapses onto him._

_Her body is exhausted, tingling everywhere. He pulls out as she moves to snuggle into his neck._

_After all that, she needs to be still or she thinks she’ll hurl. But this corner of his neck is warm, stable and him-scented, easing the motion sickness and swirling alcohol in her stomach so that her eyes slip closed peacefully._

_“You gonna be walkin funny tomorrow.”_

_“You do always say you want to do that to me.”_

_His expression is sheepish when she looks up._

_“Y’know, bedroom talk’s s’pposed to stay in the bedroom.”_

_She casts a glance around. “This is kind of a bedroom.”_

_“Mami, if you don’t know that we’re in a car right now then you’re even drunker than I thought.”_

_Ignoring this, she buries her smile in his shirt._

_“Thank you. For tonight. You didn’t kill someone for me but the rest of the night mostly made up for it.”_

_His chest ripples with his laughter._

_“There’s always next time.”_

_And she knows he’s joking, but_ next time _fills her with that deep sorrow all over again. It aches in her chest, the impermanence of joy._

_“You wanna go home now?” he asks, trying to get a look at her._

_“I told you I don't want to go home.”_

_“I think you gotta at some point.”_

_And it’s the truth, but it’s not what she wants to hear._

_“Can we sleep here? You've had too much to drive, anyway.”_

_His voice comes silky smooth._

_“We can do anything you wanna do, mami.”_

_And now she leverages her body a little so she can look at him._

_“Ok – let’s run away together.”_

_He sniffs in amusement._

_"_ _Where to?"_

_She thinks about this for a moment then decides: "Somewhere with a beach."_

_“You’d crisp up.”_

_Beth weighs him up, trying to find a way he’ll budge._

_“...You wouldn’t mind it if I were skinny-dipping.”_

_“Hmm, we got pools here; I’m good.”_

_“In California they have nude beaches.”_

_He rolls his eyes. “You're hammered.”_

_Snuggling back into his neck, she sighs gleefully._

_“And it feels_ good _.”_

_And so much else doesn’t. Bills and paediatrician visits and rent along with a host of other responsibilities she’d never asked for._

_“Why don't you wanna run away with me?” she blurts, tone filled with faux grouchiness. “It's not very movie-like of you, you know.”_

_He pops a brow as he looks down at her._

_“Oh, is that right?”_

_She nods earnestly. “In the movies, the guy always says he'll go anywhere with the girl.”_

_“Yeah, well, I ain’t really a knight in shining armour kinda guy.”_

_“Duh, I wouldn’t wanna run away with that guy,” she points out._

_He doesn’t say anything for a long moment, jaw working, and then suddenly he’s twisting over so they’re both on their sides staring at each other. His eyes are serious; lips set in that way he has when he’s done playing around._

_“What if, instead of running away from home, we just built a new one? Together.”_

_She blinks, not sure how to process this._

_“…Are you proposing?”_

_“Naw,” he shakes his head, smiling a little, "but you said you wanted forever, right?”_

_She swallows._

_“What are you saying?”_

_“I dunno. If I'm being real, my head's spinning.” He takes a breath. “But, mami, it worries me when you get that look in your eyes.”_

_“What look?”_

_“Like maybe one day you'll start driving and never turn back.”_

_And now she wishes they weren’t so close and cramped; wishes there were some way to escape his gaze. She feels sick now and it has nothing to do with the liquor._

_“I could never really run away. My sister and Sadie…” She sighs long and hard. “…they need me. And if there’s one thing in this world I’m never gonna be, it’s my dad.”_

_But, god, she still feels like him – like a fraud – just for_ wanting it _. For wanting something different; something out there in the unknown._

_“You should wanna not run from your own life ’cuz you wanna stay in it.”_

_Beth scoffs. “You're supposed to be the bad boy; a bad influence.”_

_That’s what Annie calls him._ A bad influence _._

_At first approvingly. Recently, not so much._

_“…Not the responsible one,” she finishes, accusatory._

_Rio shrugs a shoulder. “Bad boys got an expiration date.”_

_He comes a little closer, expression tender again as he caresses her cheek._

_“Maybe I want forever, too.”_

_It takes her breath away._

_Because the truth is, when she's with him, she_ is _running away. She gets to take flight –_ forget _– with him and it's so addictive._

_But not fair; not sustainable._

_Had he known all this? Is that why he'd wanted to celebrate six months? So there would be another six?_

Next time.

_Had it been so obvious that she’d been using him like sort of vacation inside her own life?_

_Had he felt how she’d had one foot out? That this had always been casual, like one day she'd just drive and never turn back? That forever had never been on the cards?_

_Beth presses closer to him till her lips brush against his and she doesn’t have to meet his eyes._

_“I'm sorry,” she whispers._

_“For what?”_

_“Making you feel temporary.”_

_The words sit and settle and now, finally, she feels cold. Truly; into her bones, like the truth burning off the alcohol till there's nothing left but reality._

_The sky is beginning to lighten too and, god, she’d had no idea it was that late. The night is over; the harsh light of another day ready to bring with it everything that hadn’t mattered an hour ago._

_“I want you to have my babies.”_

_Her gasp is sharp, pushing her back so she can look at him._

_But his eyes are sharp, steady, and they’re so goddamn_ sure _._

_He wants her. Forever. He knows._

_And Beth has never been sure whether she wants children. Has always erred on the side of_ no _– she’s been a mother her whole life and the thought of having children of her own makes her so tired._

_But it comes to her tongue easily. And, god, honestly._

_“Me too.”_

* * *

* * *

**Beth's date night dress:**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love to hear what you thought :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, so 😅 This chapter was supposed to be half the size of the last and then ended up being 2k words more. (Thank you so much for your feedback, it always keeps me going!)
> 
> So I hope you're settled in and, above all, that you'll enjoy - this one has an... _interesting_ theme, haha xx

“Where ya heading?”

Beth looks up at Demon from her handbag. It’s weirdly easy to forget he’s out here. Closing the door behind her, she replies.

“Just to the store.”

“Ya want me to drive?”

“You’re coming with me? Oh, god, of course you’re coming with me,” she mutters.

Demon smirks before they head out to her car together.

After giving Lucy a story about why there’s a fully tattooed man sitting in the backroom all day, Beth’s mostly been able to forget about him. Once a neighbour had come by to pass on some mail and she’d looked very confused, but Beth had just acted completely oblivious, like _everyone_ has a dedicated day-and-night bodyguard parked outside their apartment.

She decides she wants to drive and he accepts this easily, sliding into the passenger seat.

She’s about to put on music then feels self-conscious about it and pulls her hand back, deciding to go without.

Normally he follows behind in his own car when she goes to work which, frankly, is far less awkward.

There’s about a minute of solid silence before she feels compelled to speak.

“I’m really sorry about this,” she blurts. “I know you must be bored out of your mind. And have about a million other things you’d rather be doing.”

God, he’s supposed to be Rio’s right-hand man and now he’s been relegated to not-that-glorified babysitting.

He turns to her, eyes serious. 

“Snow, ya may not wanna hear this, pero if it was me ’steada him, I’d be doin the same.”

“You would?”

He nods. “The boss don’t make small enemies. The kinda people who’d look at that,” he points at her belly, “and see a whole buncha leverage.”

_You have a death squad?_

_Protection detail._

_You travel with private security?_

_Plus some o' my own guys._

Who _are you, again?_

She swallows and he seems to notice.

“Ya don’t gotta worry, though.”

Right. Don’t worry, Beth. You’re just driving around with a gangster who’s protecting you from other gangsters who would kill you and your baby to get to Rio.

But she nods, pretends to be soothed, and he seems won by the effort.

The drive is quiet again for a few minutes as the memories crowd in; into her throat, suffocating her.

The lights; Annie’s worried face; nurses holding her down, sedating her.

_Our baby’s alive, I know he is. I know he is. Go tell them._

_I can’t tell em. It ain’t true, mami. I’m sorry._

Breathe, Beth. Breathe.

There’s a plan.

“You ok?”

“Huh?”

“You all pale— uh— _paler_.”

“Oh, I just – a wave of nausea.”

And, suddenly, she realises; grasps onto a single thought – they’re alone and he’s _talking_ to her.

_Demon had me on suicide watch for six weeks._

Clearing her throat, she casts a glance at him.

He still looks concerned, brows creased, which will hopefully work in her favour.

“He told me about what happened… after.” She can’t say it; she won’t. “I know you were there with him.”

The silence is heavier than it’s been the whole way and suddenly Demon’s gaze is firmly back on the road, jaw stony.

“Boss wouldn’t want me talkin about that.”

And now it's awkward.

Not that he’d ever been the biggest talker, but back then he _would’ve_ told her; would’ve told her _anything_ she asked about.

Because back then Rio didn’t keep secrets from her. 

If she wanted to know, about anything, she could ask. She’d just usually chosen not to.

“Well. Thank you,” she says, tone diplomatic.

He lets out a _whoosh_ of a breath.

“What matters is that this one’s gonna make it.”

“…Her name’s Jane.”

“Jane?” his eyes widen. “Money! My girl’s name is Jess.”

Her smile echoes his.

“I’d love to meet her.”

But now his face straightens back out.

“Maybe sometime.”

Translation: Rio won’t let it happen.

She sighs. “You know, he can only control what we let him control.”

He scoffs in some sort of amusement, which is fair enough. She doesn’t really believe that, either.

But she isn’t going to give up that easily.

“I’m no snitch,” she says teasingly, which earns her another scoff.

But then she clears her throat, needing him to understand that she’s serious.

“Anything said between the two of us stays between the two of us. I _promise_.”

He doesn’t respond and eventually her gaze has to go back to the road, too, as she reconsiders music. The silence is even worse now, heavier, and she half-considers turning the car around.

“You always treated me like familia,” he finally speaks, low and gravelly. “I respect that. But the truth is, you don’t wanna know what he was like.”

* * *

In the store, Demon puts a good distance between, trailing behind her in a concerted effort to remain inconspicuous.

They’d managed to move on, talking about this and that (at one point he’d even reminded her that this isn’t his first time on bodyguard duty: “Remember ya birthday? Was designated driver too that night”) but she’s been on autopilot, unable to move past the words that snag and scratch as they turn themselves over and over in her mind.

_But the truth is, you don’t wanna know what he was like._

Her imagination is far worse, though, and she feels sick to her stomach.

Just thinking about his anguish that night, thinking about it being any worse than that, makes her legs want to give out.

_You carried him. For weeks. You kept him alive while I did my best to kill him._

_You didn’t kill him._

_I did, you know I did._

There’s a plan. One that will protect herself and her baby – but what about him? Will he be able to live with himself if he leaves them behind?

_Told you I'd never leave my kid._

She shops away this thought, throwing things into her basket without really looking at them. Trying to find a way to breathe when each gulp of oxygen only brings worse thoughts.

Her feet make their way to the cash register – has she gotten anything she came for? She doesn’t know. Can’t even check, she’s blind with guilt.

Everything is so much more complicated than she’d ever imagined.

_Shoulda thought o' that 'fore you didn't take that pill, huh?_

She should’ve thought about a lot of things.

But all she could think about was _him_. Having him; making some part of him stay though he’d walked away.

Which is pretty damn ironic now, she supposes.

Suddenly she’s being pushed gently but very firmly out of the way, and it snaps her back.

Demon's pulling out a roll of cash and Beth stares, astounded; only slightly more perplexed than the cashier, whom she eventually manages to give a nod of confirmation.

_He can only control what we let him control._

God, what a lie.

Not that she minds lies much these days. Sometimes it feels like they’re all that’s holding her together anymore.

And if not her, then _them_ – the fragile, fine art of whatever it is they’re doing until she can figure out exactly what her plan comprises.

But she doesn’t know how much longer she can keep it together; she’s bursting at the seams because there’s just _too much_. Too much past, too much present. Too many questions.

Is she wrong to want to protect her baby above all else?

Is there a way any of this ends well?

Demon picks up the bags and they exit the store, Beth trying not to seem huffy even though this is part of her problem. Rio’s a rock and a hard place and she’s right in the middle, caught between being under his thumb and keeping him at a distance.

But she doesn’t want to put Demon in the middle of that too.

“If I'd known you were gonna cover it, I would've bought more.”

He snickers a little. “Next time.”

God. Next time.

“I hope Rio has an excellent expense claiming system.”

But it turns out he doesn’t.

The next time he’s over, Rio’s just finished dressing when he sits back down on the bed to wordlessly pass her a small black card.

Puzzled, she takes it then inspects it.

It’s a credit card – with her name on it.

“W-what's this for?”

“Whatever you want,” he shrugs. “Whatever the kid needs.”

She scoffs. “I don't need your money.”

He hops up, at the door in two long strides.

“Use it, don't use it. But if you don't, it keeps comin outta Demon's paycheck.”

And then he’s gone, Beth blinking after him.

_He can only control what we let him control._

* * *

_Rio’s eyes land on her soon as he opens the bedroom door._

_She’s gotta have heard him come in, chat with her sister – the walls are fuckin thin enough, somethin Annie’s been sure to tell em on more than one occasion – but there’s still zero acknowledgment when he enters her tiny bedroom._

_Elizabeth’s lying on her stomach on the bed with a bunch of books in front of her, wearin nothin but panties and a t-shirt. Damn her sister for being home._

_“Yo, what’s up?”_

_She still doesn’t turn._

_“You couldn’t have called?”_

_You don’t surprise your girl, you’re screwed. You do surprise her, you’re screwed._

_“‘Hey, hot stuff, how’s your day goin?’ Real good, mami, thanks for askin.”_

_This manages to elicit a small reluctant smile as she finally twists her neck to regard him._

_“I don’t call you hot stuff.”_

_Goddamn, finally._

_Smiling, he sits._

_“What’s with the mood?”_

_He lays a hand on her ass and she immediately shoves it off, glaring as she moves to sit up._

_“Professor Cohen gave me a C on my paper when I deserved a B+.”_

_He frowns. “How you know that?”_

_“Because he said he’d give me my B+ if I gave_ him _an A+ blowjob.”_

_“What??”_

_“I need that B, Rio, or I’ll have to do the class again.”_

_That’s what she’s focused on right now?_

_“Can we rewind to the blowjob?”_

_“Men are awful, newsflash,” she spits sardonically. “I need my B and now I have to spend my day figuring out the department’s office politics instead of doing the_ three other _papers I should be doing.”_

_“Who the fuck is this guy anyway?”_

_“Cohen. I said that. Were you not listening?”_

_Which is not at all what he meant, but fuck it. He’ll do his own research._

_“A’ight, well, I’ll take care of it,” he shrugs._

_She studies him._

_“How?”_

_“The way I do.”_

_She folds her arms and he tries real hard not to look at her tits ’cuz that ain’t gonna help him_ at all _right now._

_“Beating him up is only gonna make me get an F.”_

_“Then I’ll send some o’ my boys.”_

_“So if he doesn’t know it’s about me, how’s that gonna affect my grade?”_

_He’s stumped by this and she scoffs meanly._

_“It’s almost like I didn’t need_ you _to present me the most obvious options. Because, you know, I decided to go the most complicated route just for fun.”_

_“Why you bein such a bitch?”_

_She gasps._

_“Excuse me?”_

_He’s about to respond but then, thinking better of it, he hops up and heads over to her closet, swinging open the door._

_She gasps as he comes face to face with her calendar._

_“Oh, I see. Tomorrow, huh?”_

_Trying to shove it closed with no luck against his strength, Elizabeth glares at him extra venomously._

_“Are you implying that I’m moody because I’m getting my period tomorrow?”_

_“Oh, I’m just straight out sayin it.”_

_He’s really gotta work on some sorta scheduled system, if he’s being honest. He tries to get her a box of chocolates every month, but she’s weirdly secretive about it. Matter fact, there could be a business idea in that – he’ll keep it for his next paper for Professor Kline._

_Elizabeth’s eyes narrow._

_“Great. So the one guy’s sexually harassing me and the other’s a sexist asshole.”_

_He pretends to think real hard._

_“Is it sexist if it’s true?”_

_“Get out.”_

_He chuckles, shutting the closet then heading towards the door._

_“I’ll make sure you get your grade. And text me tomorrow what chocolates you want.”_

_The book just misses his head, hitting the door with a heavy thud as he closes it behind him._

_Maybe he’ll send flowers too._

* * *

“Good luck.”

Rio’s brow jumps up as Annie flings open the door.

“What’s that s’pposed to mean?”

Bag over her shoulder, she’s all smirky and shit, shrugging.

“It means _good luck_.”

She’s gone before he can ask anything else and he shuts the door with a sigh before going looking for Elizabeth.

It ain’t a long search. He finds her curled up in bed, crying.

“Uh.” He lays a hesitant knock on the door. “Hey.”

She looks up with a sniff, face flushed and puffy.

“What are you doing here?”

Huh?

“You texted.”

“Annie was supposed to tell you not to come inside. Didn’t she tell you?”

No, but what she _did_ say is starting to make more sense.

He takes a step forward, gesturing around.

“Sum’n wrong?”

“Why would you think something’s wrong?”

“The crying was kinda a clue, but I ain’t Inspector Gadget or nothin.”

She wipes her nose. “Hilarious.”

“So what’s up?”

“I’m having a bad day, ok?”

Ok.

He casts a more careful gaze around, tryna take in context clues.

“You didn’t go to work today?”

“No!”

Ok. Deciding he needs a measured approach if he’s gonna get any information outta this, Rio folds his hands over his front, trying to be as calm as possible to balance out her getting more worked up.

“Why?”

“Because I’m _pregnant_ and my legs hurt, my back hurts, my— EVERYTHING HURTS! And I _can’t_ ,” she sobs loudly, “even have _a glass of wine_!”

Oh.

Skip the wine comment.

“You don't got meds for that?”

“Obviously I took them, Rio!” she shouts, and it seems to echo off the walls.

He stares back, considering.

“I could run you a bath.”

“Do I look like a two-year-old??”

He doesn’t say anything to this, kicking off his shoes.

Then he joins her on the bed, sitting up straight against the headboard and keeping his eyes forward.

She’s breathing real loud, the only sound in the room for a minute as he feels her eyes on him.

“What are you doing?” she finally asks.

“Waiting.”

“For what?”

“What you want me to do.”

He expects the stunned silence that follows. What he _didn’t_ expect is her bursting into high-pitched howls, forcing him to look at her. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t! Know! What I’m doing!”

He frowns. “With what?”

“Life.” She looks up to meet his eyes, sniffing. “Do you know what I’m doing?”

And, look, he ain’t the smartest guy in the world, but he damn sure knows not to answer that.

So he doesn’t say shit, waiting for the moment to ride itself out.

Which kinda works. She starts cryin again, but also takes the onus off him to say anything.

“I just… everything’s wrong. This… this wasn’t how it was supposed to be.”

Her voice is all funny, nose blocked; baby blues glowing through all the unfallen tears.

Rio lifts a brow.

“How was it supposed to be?”

She opens her mouth, as if to answer, before looking away, the hysterics starting again.

“Look at me! I’m huge and nothing fits, not even my _shoes_. I look tired _all the time_ – god, because I _am_ tired all the time; no matter how much I sleep, I’m just tired! And I’ve been crying for hours, I can’t stop – I had to take off from work because I couldn’t stop _crying_ , do you know how _humiliating_ that is? There wasn’t even—”

The rest disappears in sobs before she buries her face in the pillow, muffling it a little.

He waits.

Eventually she looks up again, tears silently coming down her face now.

“You’re just gonna sit there?”

“You want me to say sum’n?”

“Why else are you here?!”

“Oh, I was invited for a booty call,” he answers very matter-of-factly.

She blinks. “You want to have sex right now?”

“No thanks, I'm too emotional.”

“… _You're_ emotional?”

He nods, letting out a real dramatic sigh.

“I'm goin through a lot.”

“You are?”

Her tone is half-dry, half-confused.

“Yeah, my feet are swollen, there’s bags under my eyes, it’s gonna be humiliating when I get back to work and the boys hear I rushed off and didn’t even get none.”

She stares at him for a full second, unblinking.

Then she bursts into laughter, shoulders shaking.

“God, you’re so _dumb_!”

Rio watches her giggle for a while.

And the truth is, she’s really damn gorgeous. Like he’s never met someone who’s as pretty laughing and crying. Her lips are all puffy and he’s gotta adjust his gaze to take his mind off em.

He clears his throat. “Thanks for checking in, y'know _no one ever_ asks how the _dad's_ doin?”

She shakes her head.

“You always know how to make me laugh.”

“You got a good one.”

The smile fades slowly from her face now as she stares at him solidly, somethin deep in her eyes. He wishes he knew what.

Before he can figure it out, she’s dipping in closer, but he backs up.

“Yeah, thing is, you kinda snotty right now.”

Her jaw drops and Rio grins, reaching out to wipe the worst away before pulling her to him.

Her lips are salty but soft; warm. He’s just getting into it when she pulls away.

“Will you run me that bath?”

He makes it nice and hot, adding all the salt and shit that he finds near the bath till it smells like a Bath & Body Works store exploded in here.

When she’s securely in, now back to a low mild weep, she looks at him.

“Will you stay with me?”

“Yeah, ok.”

He goes to get a chair from the room then sets it up right against the bath before rolling up a towel for her to rest her head on. She does and he runs his hand over her hair in a way he hopes is soothing.

If he makes it outta here without getting yelled at again, he’ll consider it a win.

“It has to stop at some point, right?” she asks, voice cracking. “There's only so much water inside me, right?”

“Logically, yeah.”

He doesn’t add that pregnant women seem like otherworldly creatures whose bodies can do all sorts of weird shit. Better to leave it on optimism.

Suddenly she looks up, neck nearly cricking with the speed.

“What's up, what's wrong?” he asks, eyes wide.

She pouts before bursting into tears.

“I'm _so hungry_.”

Goddamn.

“Uh, what for?”

“Anything that doesn't have a water content,” she sobs.

Which don’t seem like a big ask till, goin through the kitchen, Rio finds barely anything that’s edible to begin with. There’s a slice of cheese in the fridge, half a cucumber and some condiments.

He stares at this for a moment before ripping open the front door, Demon’s eyes widening.

“Somethin wrong with Snow?”

He blows out an exasperated breath.

“Yeah, she's hungry and there ain't shit in this place.”

“Want me to go get somethin?”

He nods. “Groceries. Everything you can lay your hands on. Go to Annie's place so she can help.”

“Yes, boss.”

“Be back in forty.”

In the kitchen, he resumes his search, eventually getting to his knees and finding Nutter Butters right in the back of a cupboard. Thank fuck.

“I hate those,” Elizabeth groans when he presents the box.

But before he can ask why she has em then, she’s taking it and ripping the packaging open.

She’s like three deep when she seems to remember he’s still in the room.

“…Do you want one?”

Eyes round, she earnestly holds one out, half-soggy from her fingers.

Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh.

“Nah, I’m good, thanks.”

When she’s done, he gives her a look.

“Let’s get dried up, yeah?”

She thankfully agrees to this and he gets the bath sheet before helping her up.

It takes a whole second before it sinks in for em both. They ain’t never done this before.

Not like this.

She’s looking up at him and he gets lost in the clear blue of her eyes, uncharacteristically vulnerable, before he has to shake himself out of it.

“Um.”

“I can do it,” she says, clearing her throat.

“Naw,” he shakes his head, “I got you.”

* * *

_“Welcome to hell.”_

_This is Annie’s greeting before he even has both feet in the door and he stares at her, bewildered._

_“_ What _?”_

_He’s been gone for like two hours._

_“My sister has lost her entire mind and I think she’s going to cook us both up and serve us for dinner with fluffy rice.”_

_The fu—_

_“Hi!”_

_Annie shrinks away as Elizabeth comes outta the bedroom, genuine terror in the younger sister’s eyes._

_“…I’m gonna go for a walk.”_

_“_ No _, you’re not going anywhere," she barks, before turning to him, syrupy sweet. “I missed you.”_

_Uhhhh._

_“Missed you too,” he nods, figuring that’s cautious enough. “…What’s goin on?”_

_“Nothing. Why – what did she tell you was going on?”_

_Her voice is shrill at the end and he realises Annie has managed to disappear herself without a sound._

_“Uh – I got no idea.”_

_She smiles, still angelic. "Good. You know how she can be.”_

_True. But ‘how she can be’ is usually more question-filled and crazy than mute and petrified. And Elizabeth ain’t usually this haunting kinda serene._

_What kinda drugs they got in the house? Xannys? Can you take that shit when you’re preggers?_

_Deciding he’ll work his way up to those questions, he lifts up the bag._

_“Got the stuff you wanted.”_

_She makes a sound of triumph then grabs it from him before giving him a look._

_“Everything?”_

_Somethin about the look in her eyes makes him suddenly terrified for his life._

_“Uh – yeah.”_

_She smiles again then goes into the kitchen to dump it all unceremoniously onto the counter. He’s about to point out that there’s breakable shit in there when he suddenly catches sight of Annie outta the corner of his eye, two tiptoes from the front door._

NO! _he mouths at her._ Do not leave me alone here!

_She makes a buncha wild gestures and unintelligible mouth movements that he guesses is supposed to mean she’d been here while he was out._

_Then she takes another step and, desperate, he clears his throat._

_“Hey, Annie, I got you that candy bar you said you wanted.”_

_Elizabeth turns and in Annie’s eyes he sees the second mark on his life for the day._

_“Thank you, oh non-brother-in-law of mine. How kind.”_

_Meaning_ fuck you, _and normally he’d laugh, but things feel way more sinister than comedic right now._

_“Annie, you said you were going to clean the TV,” Elizabeth says, tone steely._

_Her eyes widen. “No, I didn’t! I_ didn’t _.”_

_“Well, I think you should.”_

_And she stomps her feet, but – and he can’t believe his motherfuckin eyes – she goes over to the TV and starts getting out the cleaning shit._

_Ok. Time to get out ahead of this. It’s – clearly – too late for her, but he can save himself._

_Going up behind Elizabeth, he starts rubbing her shoulders._

_“You good, mami?”_

_“Yes, of course, why would you— you didn’t get the strawberry Oreos?”_

_Her voice drops like three pitches and he frowns._

_“You said get the original.”_

_“But I clearly meant strawberry.”_

_What??_

_Ok, just keep cool._

_“I can go back if you want—”_

_“No, that’s ok. Next time I’ll just get pregnant by someone who listens to what I say.”_

_And then she grabs up the fucking_ original Oreos _and goes to supervise the TV-cleaning._

_Are they having a demon baby?_

* * *

He looks around once they’re back in the room.

“You want panties or sum’n?”

“No, I think I’m just going to have a nap.”

Sitting on the bed, she _looks_ at him.

He ain’t that good at reading her no more, but he gets what’s in her eyes now. She wants him to stay – but she ain’t gonna ask.

He wants her to ask.

Thing is, though, he _does_ wanna stay and he can’t leave till Demon’s back, anyway.

So he gets onto the bed then pulls her over onto him ’cuz if she ain’t askin then he’s at least gonna get _somethin_ he wants.

But she doesn’t resist; matter fact, she snuggles in closer, using him for some support.

Which means he’s trapped now and there’s probably an ETA on numbness, but whatever. He’s taking his wins where he can get em for the moment, that’s Phase 1.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“The bath. Everything.” She pauses. “Being so patient.”

“Ain’t my first rodeo.”

“Right.”

He decides to ignore the awkwardness, grabbing the opportunity.

“We got some kicking yet?”

He’s been real careful. Not to ask about nothin that’ll make her balk; not to touch her unless he’s touching _her_.

Not yet.

But damn, it’s killing him. Looking at that scan, all he’d been able to think about was how bad he wants to hear his little girl’s heartbeat.

He wants to talk to her and just – feel like a _dad_. Not some passer-by; some _Andrew_ or whoever the fuck.

But they’re not there yet, so he’s bein careful. Taking his chances where he can get em.

“Not much,” Elizabeth says, looking up at him. “Every now and then. Not as much as… he used to.”

She takes a moment to find words that’ll fill the hole in the silence.

“Sometimes when I have spicy food, there’s an insurrection.”

He gives her a look and she frowns.

“What?”

“Nothin. It’s just back in the day that would’ve been a hint that you wanted Indian.”

This makes her clamber up, instant indignance in the set of her shoulders. He remembers it well.

“I didn’t hint!”

He can’t hide the smile.

“Ok.”

“I didn’t!”

“If you say so.”

“I can’t believe you,” she says, but she’s smiling too.

And it lets him reach out, lifting her chin. Taking his chances where he can get em.

“There anything I can do?” he wonders. “Y’know, besides digging out cookies you don’t like.”

“Well,” she starts, real serious, “if you could make it over, that would be a huge help.”

He frowns. “Make what over?”

“ _This_ ,” she gestures around her stomach, groaning. “I don’t think I can do it anymore. Every day something is different or new or sore. It’s like, enough already – the magic of pregnancy has worn off, it’s not fun anymore, please just _give me my baby_.”

There’s red across the tops of her cheeks – she’s _genuinely_ infuriated by this. A little outta breath, too. As if there’s someone personally responsible for the length of gestation and she’s gonna give em hell for it. 

Damn, he’d buy tickets.

“Just a few more months,” he tries soothing.

Not his best effort, but he don’t got much more to work with right now; mind elsewhere.

He’s thinkin about all the other times she’d been all huffy and indignant like this and he’d gotten her from on the warpath to writhing under him.

Her skin warm with fury against his lips; his back criss-crossed with all that fire.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to do it. I don’t remember the last time something didn’t hurt, my moods are all over the place, I’ve cried so much today that my face hurts – I’m _over it_.”

“But you so good at it, though.”

“…I am?”

He nods, real assuring-like.

“She’s healthy, happy and only likes white-people food – sounds like success to me.”

She hits him in the chest as her laugh rings around the room.

And, yeah. She does have a good one.

Fuck, he wants her.

Wants to kiss her; wants to draw her to him and make that flush spread everywhere. Wants to watch her lips part around his name and all that tension leave her shoulders ’cuz of him.

But it ain’t smart – and he’s trying his best to be smart.

That’s his play; the only one he’s got.

Except when the smile fades and she focuses back in on him, she must still see it in his eyes ’cuz somethin – _somethin_ – changes.

And it bugs him, man. Bugs him that once they’d moved as one and now they’re all outta sync.

He looks away, upset in spite of himself, and after a second she moves to lay down again with an exhale like _she’s_ the one that’s been done wrong.

“You were right about the bath,” she says after a while, voice kinda funny. “The pain’s gone.”

He thinks she phrases it that way on purpose, so he responds in kind.

“Guess you don’t always know what’s best, huh?”

It’s quiet for too long and he wonders if she’s thinkin or just letting him stew in his own words. Wonders if she’s even still awake.

“No,” she says, voice small but crystal-clear. “All I know is how to put one foot in front of the other.”

And he chooses to say nothin to this, chewing the words over as he tries to block off the memory that comes with it.

_“How did you find this place?”_

_She does another twirl and all the sun streaming into their new apartment –_ their apartment _– seems to refract off her._

_He gets closer, shrugging._

_“Gave the realtor a number and said the words ‘counter space’ make my girl horny.”_

_She smacks him on the arm with a glare that’s kinda half-hearted – more like quarter-hearted, really, ’cuz the space is pretty dope if he does say so himself._

_Elizabeth bites her lip into her mouth, uncertain._

_“Can we afford it?”_

_“You like it?”_

_She takes another look around – the giant kitchen with all its counter space, the light wood finishes, the balcony with its herb garden – and she can’t contain her grin._

_“I_ love _it.” Now she meets his eyes. “When could we move in?”_

_“Tomorrow. Already got it all paid up for the year.”_

_She gasps. “How did you know I’d like it??”_

_He’s had enough of the gap between em now, tugging her to him._

_“Don’t I always know what you like?”_

_It’s dripping with innuendo and her gaze flicks from his eyes to his lips. Then she’s pressing her body to his, wrapping her arms around his neck as she parts his lips with her tongue._

_He’s palming her ass, wondering if they can take those counters for their first ride, when suddenly she pulls away with another gasp, eyes wide._

_“Wait, did you say you paid for the_ year _?”_

_“We headed for the big leagues, ’member?” he reminds. “This is just the start, mami.”_

_She looks at him and now it ain’t just the sun in her eyes. Her thumb comes up to trace over his lips before dropping down to his neck as she sighs._

_“God, you’re always ten steps ahead while I’m just trying to put one foot in front of the other.”_

_There’s been some problems on her end – the packing up goin slower than it should; her landlord being an asshole._

_But she’s got it fucked up._

_’Cuz the only reason he’s got those dreams is because of her. Yeah, he’s always wanted to make it big, but that’d pretty much been a dollar amount and not much else._

_With her, there’s shape to it; life. He sees it all, every damn thing that’s gonna be their future, and it starts right here. The two of them, this empty apartment, their kid growing inside her._

_Everything he wants, it starts with her._

_Hands goin down, he presses his forehead to hers._

_“Right now,” he says, rubbing over her still-flat stomach, “that’s all you gotta do. You make our baby, mami, and I’ll take care of all the rest.”_

Shifting, Elizabeth moves her hand onto his chest and it's a reflex when his own fingers weave through em; he doesn't really know he's done it till it's done.

She must be asleep already ’cuz she doesn't stiffen or nothin.

So he dips into her half-damp hair, breathing in the soft scent of her.

Thinkin about when he won’t have to steal it no more.

_You make our baby, mami, and I’ll take care of all the rest._

* * *

_“Why’s the phone by the trashcan?”_

_And unconnected, too. Man, it had taken him ages to get it set up, spending more time on his cell holding for service than he’s sure he’s ever gonna spend on the damn landline itself. But his mom had gone on and on about how you can’t be an adult with a place and a kid unless you got a stable landline and so he’d just given in and gotten the damn thing._

_It’s this specific concoction of memories – plus walking on eggshells around Elizabeth for the past hour – that’s got his blood boiling the second he sees the cords dangling._

_“Oh, it’s better there,” is all she has to offer from the couch._

_Where she’d devoured all the Oreos, by the way._

_Tryin to stay as calm as possible, he rubs his brow._

_“That doesn’t make any sense.”_

_“It does.”_

_“How, Elizabeth, how?”_

_“Why are you raising your voice?”_

_He’s pretty sure he_ wasn’t, _but now he sure the fuck is._

_“Because it was all set up over there and you moved it, why?”_

_“Because that’s where I like talking to people!”_

_Now she’s waddling over, brows determined, and he squints._

_“You like talking to people by the trashcan?”_

_“Yes! Why can’t I ever just have what I want?_ You _picked the colour for Marcus’ room, and you and Annie always gang up on me whenever I want to do anything like I'm some sort of guest here! You wouldn’t let me hang the painting I bought, going on and on about my safety when I_ know _you just don’t like it!”_

_He blinks, not sure where to even begin picking all of that apart._

_“Ok, you know what, you’re acting crazy. And I know it’s hormones and shit, but I’m right about done putting up with it,” he decides. “You a grown woman, get your damn self under control.”_

_She stares at him for a moment, eyes conflicted, then lifts her chin, resolved._

_“Fine.”_

_“Fine.”_

_About time._

_Damn, he shoulda said somethin from the jump._

_But Elizabeth smirks, eyes mean._

_“I hope you enjoy the couch tonight.”_

_With that, she spins on her heel then stalks into the room, and his gaze goes to Annie, who’s been – silently – polishing their gran’s silverware since she got done with the TV._

_“She’s joking, right?”_

_“Nope,” she shakes her head. “But what’s funny is how you thought that would end any other way for you.”_

* * *

“So what do you think about Snow and the homie's conjugal visits? Pretty gross, right?”

Beth throws the front door open with a sigh.

“Please get inside.”

It’s become the norm for her sister to come home with some insane new thing to lob at Demon as if he’s her personal comedy sounding board.

But Annie looks completely unfazed, grinning cheek to cheek.

“Beth! Oh my god, the coolest thing ever happened today!”

“What?” she asks sceptically, closing the door behind them.

“I saved someone’s life!”

“How was that?”

“Heaven started choking on those weird hard candies she likes and she started turning purple and everyone was screaming ‘Who knows the Heimlikt, who knows the Heimlikt??’—”

“It’s the Heimlich.”

“And they’re all just standing around panicking and the veins on her neck and forehead are red and popping and next thing I knew, I was grabbing her and doing the Heim thingy!”

“Wait,” Beth freezes. “You _actually_ saved her life?”

“Dude, that’s what I literally just said.”

“I thought you were exaggerating!”

“Nope. You’re looking at a bona fide hero. She said she saw her life flash before her eyes.”

Beth rolls her eyes.

“That’s just dramatic.”

“Well, yeah, it’s Heaven.”

Deciding this is a fair assessment, Beth moves to the kitchen to start dinner. She thinks they may have some mac and cheese left somewhere.

Except that isn’t what she finds when she opens the cupboard.

“Why do we have three jars of Nutella?”

Surrounded by pancake mix, Pop Tarts and boxes of cereal she doesn’t remember buying.

“Oh, I think Demon really likes Nutella,” Annie responds casually.

She turns to look at her, bewildered.

“What does that have to do with why we have _three jars_?”

This stops her. “Oh, you didn't know? Rio sent him on a grocery run while you were having your meltdown yesterday.”

“Oh my god.” 

She'd deliberately been trying to make ends go further so she wouldn't have to use his money, at least not until there was no other choice.

She throws open the fridge, which is suddenly bursting with produce.

“I can’t believe this.”

Her memories of yesterday are hazy – all she really remembers is his body under hers; their hands entwined. The sadness that had overwhelmed her when she’d woken to find him gone.

“I know, right? I didn’t even know you could fit that much stuff into a fridge.”

“How could you let this happen?” she turns on her.

“Ok, have you seen the size of me and the size of our _professional bodyguard_?”

She considers arguing further; considers pointing out Demon isn’t a bodyguard, but then decides she doesn’t have the energy for it. Instead she grabs at the first few ingredients her hands land on so she can start with dinner.

“Is Ben home tonight?”

“Tomorrow night. Can we get back to my heroics?”

“There’s more to go back to?” Beth frowns, chopping.

“ _Yes_ , dude! I save someone’s _life_!”

“Yeah, but I thought we covered that.”

“ _No_.” She pauses here dramatically before letting out a breath. “I was thinking – maybe that’s what I should do.”

“Should do when?”

“You know, with my life.”

Realising her sister actually seems serious, Beth stills.

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“I could be a paramedic! Beth, god, it was _so cool_! I _helped_ someone – like, she would be _dead_ without me!”

“Annie—”

“I looked it up – it’s a pretty cool career path. I’d _definitely_ be moving up in the world. God, look at me using words like _career path_!”

Which is admittedly encouraging.

“Ok, but isn’t there some sort of certification you’d need?”

And now for the first time her spirit seems to dampen.

“Well… yeah. A college degree.”

“And who’s gonna pay for that?”

It’s meant to be rhetorical as she turns away to grab a different knife – but the look on Annie’s face catches her, forcing her to turn back.

“ _No_.”

“Oh my god, he’s _rolling_ in it! He stocked our kitchen for the year with loose change!”

“Annie. Absolutely not.”

“It’ll be a loan. There’s no harm in asking,” she points out.

“I said no.”

“Newsflash, sis: you’re his baby mama, not his bank manager.”

She sets her shoulders.

“I forbid you from asking him.”

Annie lets out a deliberately forceful snort before heading to her room.

* * *

_Rio nudges open the door with a foot._

_Elizabeth gives him a look like he needs a passport to come into his own bedroom._

_“Can we talk for a minute?” Before she can respond: “I brought a snack.”_

_He produces fresh fries from behind his back and her eyes gleam likes it’s the last piece of candy on the shelf._

_Then she sets her jaw._

_“One minute.”_

_He passes it then sits beside her, making her immediately shift over to put distance between em._

_Ok, well at least she ain’t giving him the— nope, she turns her back on him and he sighs._

_“I’m sorry for yelling,” he starts out. “I know you growin a whole person in there and there’s hormones and shit you can’t control.”_

_Silence._

_But he can hear the crunching of fries so at least there’s that._

_“Me and Annie, we do be actin a fool and you don’t deserve that.”_

_Now she spins around, eyeing him suspiciously._

_“You called your mom, didn’t you?”_

_“Oh yeah.”_

_She looks too amused for her own damn good._

_“What did she say?”_

_“That I’m a dumbass and I better hope she forgets about this ’fore she can get her hands on me.”_

_Elizabeth smirks for a second before taking a moment to think about this._

_“So you don’t actually believe that you guys gang up on me?”_

_“Nope,” he admits. “And the phone’s got_ no _fuckin business by the trashcan. But if that’s where you want it, that’s where we putting it.”_

_She looks affected and he takes it as a good sign, getting a little closer and laying a hand on her arm._

_“I’m sorry, baby. And I love you.”_

_She turns away again and he’s envisioning another week of grovelling when she speaks._

_“I know I sound crazy,” her voice comes out tiny. “I can hear it. But I can’t stop it.”_

_Weird._

_“Ok.”_

_“You telling me I’m crazy makes it feel a hundred times worse.”_

_“I get that.”_

_Kinda._

_“I’m really sorry.”_

_She puts a hand over his and that’s it, she doesn’t turn around, but it’s somethin._

_Guess it’s time for the rest of his contrition._

_Standing, he gets the pillow from his side of the bed then heads out to the lounge._

_It's basically just that and the throw blanket, so he’s set up in under a minute, punching at the pillow as he shifts around._

_Man, he really doesn’t wanna sleep out here._

_But his mom said that goin through with the punishment will show he respects Elizabeth, and the rest of her advice has gotten him this far. (Except for the phone shit – which, by the way, he’d tried pointing out that the whole argument had come about because of her dumb landline phone. Bad idea.)_

_“You’re really gonna sleep here?”_

_He sits up in surprise, Elizabeth rounding the couch as he tries to improv nonchalance._

_“You snore these days, so really it’s a gift.”_

_She smacks his leg and he laughs, making her crack a smile too._

_“You’re such an asshole,” she says, sitting by his feet._

_“A’ight, I was gonna offer a massage but if we bein mean—”_

_“No, wait, my feet are killing me!”_

_She pouts in that way she has that she seems to figure is real persuasive to him. And it is too, but it’s in his best interests if she don’t know just how much._

_“Yeah?” he smirks. “So whatchu willin to do for it, then?”_

_“You’re unbelievable,” she rolls her eyes, acting all stroppy._

_He’s got her, though, he knows he does._

_“But not free.”_

_There’s a spark in her eyes, not that she'd cop to it._

_“What do you want?”_

_“A view.”_

_Grinning, she bites her lip into her mouth coyly before undoing the buttons on her top. He jerks his chin for some more and she giggles._

_“Seriously? Are you guys_ ever _not gross??”_

_Fuck his life._

_Elizabeth darts down as he straightens up to find Annie heading toward the kitchen with a look of contempt directed towards em._

_“Uh,” he creases his forehead, “remind me who doesn’t pay rent here?”_

_She glares, grabs a bottle of water then hightails it back to her room._

_They watch her leave then, smiling, Elizabeth lifts her feet up into his lap._

_“Half now,” she pulls a finger down between her revealed breasts, “half when the job is done.”_

_And yeah, he_ definitely _plans on finding out what the other half is._

* * *

It’s different now.

Ever since that day. Not deliberately so, but it feels different now; not like more than it is, but not like less, either.

Or maybe _she’s_ different, because he isn’t. He still doesn’t really speak unless spoken to; doesn’t instigate or offer up anything; doesn’t stay longer than allotted.

But she doesn’t think about the plan as much. Whole days go by without her thinking about it, yet she finds herself drifting off in her own mind at work thinking about _him_. A customer has to wave a hand in front of her face because she’s so busy recalling the way he’d dried her off after her bath, one of the few other things she remembers clearly from that day.

She’s supposed to be having lunch but she’s thinking about the day he’d been at the gym when she’d texted, meaning she’d had to wait longer than usual. He’d arrived freshly showered, the scent of his bodywash coming off him in waves. There’d been a few drops of water left on his body and she’d found them all.

He’d bent her over the dressing table and then she’d ridden him and they’d both been exhausted by the time they were finished but she’d still reached for him, just not wanting him to leave yet – she still hasn’t worked out how to ask him to stay – and then it had slipped out almost under his breath; accidental.

“Baby, you wore me out.”

And, watching him try to figure out how to take it back, the memory had come at breakneck speed.

_“Did you just call me baby?”_

_“Yea.”_

_“I hate couples who call each other baby.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Because it's weird. And besides, I don't want to be the four hundredth girl you call baby.”_

_He snorts in amusement, pulling her closer._

_“You think about things way too damn much, you know that?”_

_She tosses her hair, playing at arrogance._

_“I've been told it's charming.”_

_“By who?” his brows furrow. “’Cuz they was straight up lyin to your ass.”_

_“By_ you _, you asshole!”_

_He’s laughing so hard he can barely breathe as she pummels him and Beth thinks maybe—_

“Beth. Beth! BETH!”

She pulls herself from her reverie to realise she’s in the backroom, Lucy struggling to get her attention.

“Uh, hi. Sorry. Customer?”

“No,” she shakes her head. “ _Andrew’s_ in the front. He said he’s back from his business trip and was wondering if you wanted to grab lunch.”

Andrew. Right.

Both their gazes go to the half-eaten sandwich in front of her before Beth pulls a face.

“Can you say thank you but no?”

Lucy gives her a strange look.

“You… don’t want to come tell him yourself?”

Not particularly.

Even though, as Lucy’s eyes are clearly communicating to her now, that just means he’ll be back at a different stage. Tomorrow, probably.

“I’ll take care of it.”

They both look over at where the gruff voice had come from – Demon’s in the corner of the room, now standing, causing both women some unease. Beth because she’d managed to entirely forget he was in the room; Lucy because he isn’t exactly her favourite person. Her nervous babbling tends to run right off Demon, so they’ve been getting on like oil and water.

He meets Beth’s eyes now, very clearly waiting for her to refuse his assistance. But she doesn’t.

She doesn’t.

* * *

“Gotta go.”

Beth sits up as he swings his legs off the bed, pulling the sheet up over her chest.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure.” Rio turns back. “What’s up?”

She swallows, uncertain. She’d gone back and forth on it, not wanting to bring it up and cause a problem where there potentially hadn’t been one yet.

But if it _is_ already a problem, she needs to nip it in the bud.

“Has Annie spoken to you? About… her future?”

“…Yeah,” he admits reluctantly.

God. Her sister is hardly even ever _here_ when Rio comes over, but of course she’d somehow found a time to corner him.

“Please don’t give her the money.”

She blurts it and he looks confused, brows knitting.

“Why not?”

“Because… what if she can’t even pay you back? You know it took her five tries to get her GED?”

He shrugs, unfazed.

“It’s cool.”

“It’s _cool_?” she stares back, astounded. “It’s, like, _ten grand_.”

He snorts. “That’s spare change.”

“That’s not what you said when Max stole it from you.”

“I wasn’t playing on the field I am now,” he points out. “And, ’sides, he _stole_.”

Beth crosses her arms, annoyed this conversation is not at all going the way she’d thought it would.

Pointing out that it doesn’t make good business sense was supposed to be her trump card – it’s _him_ , for god’s sake.

“So you’re fine with just _giving_ her the money?”

“I’m a philanthropist, what can I say?”

He twists back around, beginning to reach for his clothing, and Beth watches for a few seconds before clearing her throat.

“Can I just ask you something?” When he glances back with a nod: “Please don’t do it—”

“I ain’t doin it for you,” he cuts her off with a light scoff.

She swallows as he throws his jeans back down, sighing.

“I love your sister, a’ight? Like one o’ my own. And as _terrifyin_ as it is thinkin of anyone’s life in her hands…" He shrugs. "I think this could be good for her.”

She stares, speechless, as he pulls a face.

“And even if it ain’t the right fit, she’s more than fuckin _Fine and Frugal,_ ” he spits.

And it’s so _genuine_ , so heartfelt, that Beth’s chest aches.

Dean had never said anything even close to that positive about her sister – if anything, it had been more of the opposite. And as much as she loves her sister – as much as if she were her own daughter, with the way she’d raised her herself – Beth doesn’t always have the most belief in her, either. She’s had to watch Annie screw up too many things in spectacular fashion; has been there to pick up the pieces.

Rio had been there for some of it, for two years of it. Yet, apparently, somehow he still believes in her – enough to put money down on it.

But she shouldn’t be surprised.

“You always see the potential in people. Not just who they are, but who they can be.”

She’s always envied that about him; admired it. The way he could see so far beyond the present no matter how messed up it was.

_Ten years from now it’s gonna be the two of us at the top together. That’s it. You’re my future._

Rio shrugs, nonchalant. “That’s why I’m the boss.”

“No,” she shakes her head.

And she waits for his eyes to widen, for him to give her his full attention.

_I’ll never stop makin you happy, Elizabeth. I already got it all planned out, everythin._

_I know you do._

“That’s why you’re an incredible boss.”

Something flashes in his eyes – too fast, too striking, for her to read. But it makes her draw a breath, sharp, and then suddenly he’s on her, kissing her; yanking down the sheet.

“I thought…” she breathes out between kisses, “you had to go.”

And, his hand slipping between her legs, he shakes his head.

“I’m the boss.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! Sorry it's been so long, I've been struggling with some health issues. I'm really surprised this chapter exists at all, but I hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless xx

_Beth looks up when the door slams, Rio entering the kitchen a second later._

_“How’d it go? Have a cupcake.”_

_He does, eyes widening as he bites into it._

_“Damn, that’s good.”_

_“New recipe,” she grins. “Buttermilk.”_

_He nods, something heavy in his brows as he takes another bite then sets it down on the counter, sighing._

_“I fucked up.”_

_“What happened?”_

_“I dunno. Got into my own head, everythin came out all nervous and sketchy-like.”_

_He takes a second, gaze drifting, before slamming at the counter with renewed worry._

_“Damn! I need that money.”_

_“Well, go back.”_

_“I can’t_ go back _, Elizabeth. He’s suspicious now, that ain’t just gonna go away.”_

_She ponders this for a while then takes a step closer._

_“I could go with you. With cupcakes. What’s less suspicious than a pregnant girlfriend who bakes?” He’s squinting at her in half-consideration and she smiles. “I could do a Southern accent.”_

_“You suck at accents.”_

_Beth huffs. “Alright, guv’nor.”_

_She waits till he’s finished laughing, till all the tension he’d come in with is gone, before speaking again._

_“Rio, you’re the most charming person I’ve ever met. You can go back. And you’ll nail it.”_

_He stares back at her for a long moment but she doesn’t falter. She believes in him._

_Sometimes he’s all she believes in._

_“Ok,” he sighs. “But I’m taking you up on the cupcakes.”_

_“Oh my god, you’ll walk away with double what you asked for.”_

* * *

“Is it Casual Day in Gangland?”

Beth’s trying to figure out if it’s Demon at the door when Rio’s voice rings out.

“ _Hey_ , Annie.”

Oh, crap.

Frantic, she scans what she’s wearing – though it hardly matters, considering it’s concealed by her dirty apron – then looks up to find him in her apartment. He’s in a grey sweatshirt and dark blue sweatpants and his smile makes her flush, so she looks away.

“What are you doing here?” Annie interrogates.

“Have the day free. Thought I'd spend it wit' my kid.”

“You know she's still _inside someone else_ , right?”

“You know I didn't ask for your opinion, right?”

“Asshole.”

“Dumbass.”

Beth looks up to find them both grinning before Annie squints at him.

“Hey, do you have twenty bucks?”

“Yeah.”

“Bet you can't prove it.”

Annie snatches it happily the second he’s produced it from his pocket.

“Score.”

And with that, she grabs her bag then heads out. Rio watches, amused, and Beth watches him.

He catches her.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just... forgot.”

“’Bout what?”

About the way they’d used to be together. That they’d been _friends_ , once upon a time. Family.

_I love your sister, a’ight? Like one o’ my own._

“Nothing.”

He watches her for a moment then seemingly decides to let it go.

“Whatchu got goin today?” he asks, throwing out a hand.

The kitchen counter is littered with baking paraphernalia – she has four recipe books out, plus her mixer and a few rough sketches.

“Um, I have two layer cakes to make for two different clients.”

“Cool. Lemme know if you need me.”

“I've been doing fine by myself, thank you.” 

Really, she doesn’t mind that he’s here. In fact she’d been wanting to see him today, but had been forced to prioritise: these orders need to be finished before the end of the day.

Still. If he knows that, he’ll be showing up unannounced all the time and that’s the last thing she needs.

He’s unfazed, though.

“Ok.”

“Actually…” God. “Can you get the flour down? It’s on the top shelf.”

Smirking, he comes into the kitchen then easily gets it down, placing it on the counter beside her.

“How’d you even get it up there?” he asks, looking her up and down.

“I didn’t,” she scowls. “Demon must have moved it there when he was making room for the apocalyptic amount of groceries you made him buy.”

He smirks at this.

“So how were you planning to get it down, then?”

“With the _ladder_ Demon must have used to get it up there – FYI, he’s just as tall as I am.”

“You mean small.”

He’s looking her up and down again, a little slower now, and he’s too close; the look in his eyes too familiar.

She draws a short breath through her mouth.

“I'm working today.”

“You mentioned.”

Except this time she really _is_ annoyed because he’s going to make her lose the carefully crafted control she currently has; the determination that, above all, her cakes be done in time. She’s only a few months into this – she can’t be upsetting new clients.

“Just because you have the day off doesn't mean everyone else's life comes to a stop,” she points out, huffy.

“Oh, you mean like when you text me?” his brow jumps up. At her look of surprise: “What, you thought I just never have anythin going?”

And she can’t say she’s ever given much thought to it, besides the day he’d been at the gym. Mostly he just… _comes_ , and that’s that. It’s never occurred to her that he may be busy; may be in the middle of something important.

“So then why do you do it?”

“’Scuse me?”

“If you're busy, why do you always come?”

“’Cuz that's my kid. And I'mma be here for her always, don't matter what she needs. Y'all come first.” He shakes his head. “It's simple.”

It takes her back a step; makes her lose a breath.

She’s blinking fast, speechless, and then he shrugs.

“Plus your librarian don’t seem like he too blessed.”

He's grinning and she glares.

“You just had to ruin the moment, didn’t you?”

“Always lookin out for you, sweetheart,” he winks.

She scoffs. “You’re a terrible person.”

He smiles at her, delighted, like she’d paid him the highest compliment.

And it occurs to her, suddenly, that if Andrew’s still some sort of consideration to him then Demon must not have told him about what had happened at the store. She owes him one.

“I could use help,” she relents after a second.

It’s better than having him spend the time staring at her, burning up the back of her neck.

“A'ight, what can I do?”

“Do you remember how to dye fondant?”

“Think so, yeah.”

“Ok, I want it these colours,” she pulls over her reference images.

The baby shower cake will have a fondant teddy bear sitting on top, and Rio studies this for a second before nodding with a hum.

“And then can you make the buttercream?”

He shoots her a look.

“Please tell me you aren’t still superstitious ’bout that.”

“It’s not superstition and you don’t have to make it, but then you have to leave.”

After the first few times of her buttercream somehow going horribly wrong every time he’d been over, she’d gotten him to make it instead – and despite it being his first time, it had come out perfect. Ever since, if he was home, he had to make the buttercream.

Rio looks amused but doesn’t say anything, picking up the gel food colouring to study it.

They don’t talk much as they work, Beth staying focused as she measures out ingredients and goes back and forth to check her notes.

She has a chair that she sits on to get things into the oven and when he sees this, he doubles over laughing – at her glower, he volunteers to be the designated oven operator.

And really, they slip into it so easily that when she goes over to make him coffee, she doesn’t realise she’s expecting him to wrap his arms around her until he doesn’t and something like disappointment slips beneath her collar.

Waiting on the mixer to finish whipping up the batter, Beth watches as he sips the coffee.

“Do you remember when you made me a cake for my birthday?”

“Shit,” he groans, “that was a _nightmare_.”

Beth giggles.

“It was horrible.”

He gasps, offended. “It tasted good!”

“Yeah, but it looked like you’d iced it with a chainsaw.”

“Cake’s way easier to eat than make,” he mutters, miffed.

She bites her lip to keep from laughing, focusing back in on her mixture. Really, he’d just neglected to give it a crumb coat – a mistake she doesn’t think he’d ever make again considering all the mocking he’d had to endure from her sister.

“These both gonna be vanilla?”

“Yeah,” she nods. “But this one’s gonna be covered in sprinkles.”

He makes a sound of disapproval but doesn’t comment, and she grins.

“You could hire me and I could make you a chocolate one.”

He smiles a little.

“Sure.” After a second: “How’s things goin, anyway?”

She’s about to answer when it suddenly hits her afresh: he’s the one who’d encouraged her to start her business.

_You should get back into baking._

_I will._

But that day still hurts too much. 

_Please don't do this. Please don't leave me again._

“G-good,” she nods. “I’m doing about as many orders as I can do now – obviously I’ll have to see how things go once the baby’s here.”

He hums noncommittally and she bites at the inside of her cheek, wondering what he’s thinking.

But then he offers up the buttercream for her to taste and, after getting the go-ahead, he puts the nozzle in the piping bag, opens it into a glass, fills it up then looks at her expectantly.

“Well, pipe it,” she points out.

“Yeah, this ain’t the kind of piping I’m good at.”

Working hard to keep a straight face, Beth clears her throat loudly.

“Fine. I’ll do it.”

“Swap?”

“Yeah.”

* * *

_“My mom loved the cake.”_

_Rio shuts the door behind her as they enter his sister’s bedroom._

_“Really?” she frowns, sceptical._

_“Yeah,” he nods, “wants the recipe and everythin.”_

_“Wow.”_

_Beth’s beyond flattered considering the back and forth there’d been about who got to make his birthday cake._

_But this is quickly pushed to the back of her mind as he moves away further from her, casting a glance around as if checking out the room he’d grown up in is what he’d brought her in here for._

_There’s only one reason Rio ever finds a quiet place for them and it isn’t scoping out the décor._

_But the backyard is crawling with his extended family,_ _his r_ _elatives coming in and out of the house every few minutes. He’s crazy if he think it’s the time for it._

_Besides, she has other plans._

_“I have your present.”_

_He spins around, brow darting up._

_“Oh, yeah?”_

_She nods._

_“Yeah.”_

_The first rendition of his gift last night hadn’t gone down well – he’d made her confess to swiping her credit card for it before entirely refusing to accept it._

_“How much you spend?”_

_She smirks triumphantly. “Zero dollars.”_

_And now, brow jumping even higher, he lopes over._

_When he gets to her, she pulls it from her dress pocket._ _Unlike last night’s, she hadn’t wrapped it. She hadn’t wanted him to be disappointed – it’s not his style. The face of the watch is small and round; the band brown leather._

_She has no idea how much it’s worth, but Rio looks some kind of impressed as he slides it off her knuckles._

_“It was my dad’s," she explains. "He left it behind... Just like he left us.”_

_The last part comes out quiet, near inaudible, and she isn’t sure if he catches it._

_She hopes not. She hadn’t meant to say it._

_He stares at the unmoving hands – she hadn’t had the time to get the battery changed – for a long while, something unreadable in his brow._

_Until, eventually, he speaks._

_“I’ll keep it forever.”_

_His voice is full and she realises suddenly that, other than that night, they haven’t really spoken about him._

Who taught you to play?

My dad.

You don’t talk about him much.

What’s there to say?

 _He has a way of knowing how far to press. A way of knowing_ her _, she supposes._

 _“Even when_ you _leave?” she teases. “Even though it’s hideous?”_

_The moment is too heavy and it’s not what she intended. It’s his birthday, after all. And if there’s one thing she’s learned from her sister, it’s how to turn any moment into a joke._

_But his face twists._

_“I’m never gonna leave you.”_

_He knows how far to press. But, sometimes, he also knows how to hold on. How to bring her back; how to make her not let go._

I want you to have my babies.

_The smile slips from her face, something dull aching in her chest._

_“Sometimes I think you understand me better than anyone else in the world does.”_

_Which shouldn’t be true, because most of the time she doesn’t even understand herself._

_He watches her for a long moment, sizing her up, before he slips the watch on._

_He does it slowly, carefully, like he’s defusing a bomb; does up the clasp one-handed like lighting a candle at an altar._

_And by the time he’s done there’s something different in the air, sizzling._

_She feels it in her body just like she always does._

_“That’s ’cuz there’s sum’n dark inside you,” Rio shrugs, a spark in his eyes that sends a shiver down her spine. “And I love when she comes out to play.”_

_Slipping her fingers beneath his waistband, she pulls him to her, and he smirks._

_“See?”_

_She kisses him and he moans, getting louder when she rubs him over his jeans. Then they’re working at his buttons and by the time he’s slipping off her panties, Beth pulls away to look up at him through her lashes._

_“I thought you ‘hate when I get like this’?”_

_“Mami, there ain’t a damn thing about you I hate.”_

_Then he’s inside her and her whimper is way too loud, Rio snickering in her ear as she tightens her legs around his waist. His mouth is blistering in her neck and Beth tries hard to remember where they are; to bite into her lip instead of calling out._

_But he uses a thumb to pull it out of her mouth, kissing her roughly before drawing back._

_“Stop, c’mon; I wanna hear you,” he breathes._

_His hand goes down to squeeze her breast and she whimpers, eyes flashing to meet his._

_“Well, maybe you should fuck me, then.”_

_The fury is instant – but there’s lust in the stony set of his jaw, too – and when he starts pounding into her, curling broken cries from her throat that echo off the walls of his childhood home, Beth thinks…_

_Maybe there is something dark inside of her._

* * *

The second cake is out of the oven and she’s crafting her fondant teddy bear when his phone rings.

He answers with a succinct “What do we got?” and her gaze is drawn to him.

There’s an animation about him when he’s in work mode. At home, with her, he’d always been more easy-going – _cool as a cucumber_ , Annie would say – but he’s different like this. There’s a showiness to it, a dominance. All exasperation and angular gestures; curled lip and gritted teeth.

Even now his face floods with annoyance and then he shakes his arm, something slipping down and onto his wrist.

The watch. 

The moment seems to freeze, all her amusement sucked out with the air as her eyes flick up to his.

He meets them, realisation rolling in like a storm.

_Do you remember the good times?_

_Every day._

Clearing his throat, he half-turns away.

“Was supposed to be there an hour ago.”

And she wants to go back to the fondant, but the memories are too much.

_I’ll keep it forever._

_I’m never gonna leave you._

The good times, yes. But so intimately entwined with the bad, all of it returning at once each time he makes time melt away the way he does.

“Naw naw naw, I said ten,” he’s saying gruffly, breaking her from her thoughts. “You tell him to stick his two million up his ass ’cuz if I wanted to be doin charity work, I’d at least be getting a tax write-off.”

The call ends abruptly a few seconds later but, before she can say anything, she’s pushed back in surprise.

“Ooh.”

He’s beside her in an instant, brows furrowing as her hand lands on her belly.

“What’s wrong?”

Beth shakes her head to allay his concern.

“She’s just moving around.”

He pulls a face, seeming uncomfortable, and she can’t figure out why till he speaks.

“C-can I…?”

Oh.

“Um, y-yeah.”

His hand lifts kind of awkwardly then settles softly on her stomach.

It’s the first time since that day that he’s touched her like this.

_That's my kid?_

_Yours._

_Ours._

She’s tried so hard not to think about that day, not even for a moment.

_Marry me._

And, somehow, she thinks he’s tried equally as hard not to touch her like this, no matter how many times they’ve been in bed together.

But after a long few seconds, Rio clicks his tongue.

“Nothin.”

“You can’t feel that?”

“Naw,” he sighs, visibly disappointed.

“Well, maybe we could order in Indian for lunch.”

His smile is even softer, less teasing, than hers.

“That could be arranged.”

But Beth pulls a face.

“If only the thought of putting anything in my mouth didn’t make me feel sick right now.” Then, instantly mortified: “That wasn’t an innuendo.”

He smirks. “Didn’t say it was.” Then, leaning in: “But if you wanted to put that in your mouth, I promise you wouldn’t be feelin sick, darlin.”

She shoves at him with a scoff, though it doesn't manage to move him an inch.

“You're disgusting.”

He doesn't say anything, just smiles affectionately, the sides of his eyes crinkling.

It sucks the mirth from the air as he comes even closer, sparking something in the air between them. And she can't move, she can't.

“You're beautiful.”

And this is how he gets that _she_ hates.

Because normally it's torrid and rushed; obscene – just last week he'd whispered into her ear, _You the mother of my kids, you know how fuckin hot that gets me?_ – but when he gets like this, it's slow and torturous. God, they've gone for what felt like hours after his nearly-there touches; his soft words and breaths over the tops of her cheeks; his eyes hiding something she wants to find with her body.

That's when they make love.

But he gets her aching for it first, desperate for it, while he musters this superhuman restraint that she thinks he's crafted for her sheer torture. 

“Stop,” she whispers.

But she never means it when they get here and his fingertips dance over her collarbone, igniting each spot that ignites a dozen others in turn.

“I was thinkin about you last night,” he confesses, voice low and scratchy. “’Bout that trip we took out to that cabin. You remember that?”

Yes. God. His sister had booked it for a romantic trip with her boyfriend but at the last minute hadn’t been able to make it.

It had been their first real time alone, not just thirty minutes stolen here or there between roommates and class schedules, and they’d been insatiable. They’d done it ass-naked against the front door in broad daylight; he’d fucked her on the couch, in the shower, on the floor; she’d ridden him slow and relentless, the night sky reflected in his eyes. On the way home, she’d made him pull over.

Beth doesn't say anything.

“I didn't believe in God much ’fore that but, mami,” he breathes, hoarse, “you made me a believer.”

She bites down hard on her lip so _Touch me_ doesn't escape. They don't have time, they don't have the time.

But she’s aching and all she can think about is his fingers. They’d slide right in, god, he wouldn’t even have to—

He brushes his lips against her hairline.

“Tell me you remember.”

“I remember,” she breathes.

_Touch me. Touch me, touch me._

His hands; god, his hands on her – there’s nothing like it.

He makes a little sound of acknowledgement that slips from the back of his throat like a secret.

“I remember looking up and you were glowing brighter than the stars behind you and I knew, all the sudden I _knew_ , you were the only woman in the world for me.”

His hand is on her face suddenly, thumb pressing against her jaw till she’s looking up at him, meeting his blown eyes. 

He wants her to kiss him.

It’s there in his eyes, in the set of his jaw. He wants her to start it; he wants her to _know_ and start it anyway.

Start something they can’t just put a lid on, something she can’t just let him walk away from.

Her body burns with it, with all of it. She wants him to touch her the way he did then; kiss her like he’ll never let her go.

She wants him to make love to her.

To be his in a way she's only ever been his. And, she thinks, he's only ever been hers.

_I knew, all the sudden I knew, you were the only woman in the world for me._

_That’s ’cuz there’s sum’n dark inside you. And I love when she comes out to play._

She parts her lips, throat dry, and then the front door bursts open, chatter spilling in with it.

They part instantly but Annie manages to catch a part of it, brow arching as several thoughts clearly run through her mind concurrently.

“You're still here.”

Before Rio can respond, Ben comes inside too, schoolbag slung over his shoulder as he blinks at the pair of them.

Crap.

Up until this point, aside from Annie's typical-Annie non-explanation about Demon, they haven't had to involve Ben in any of this. And though she'd known they hadn't had _time_ , it hadn't all the way registered that the clock was counting down to school pickup.

For once, she's grateful that Annie steps in.

“Rio, Ben. Ben, you remember your uncle Rio?”

“Kinda.” He looks at him sceptically, head cocking. “Are you back?”

There’s an awkward silence as the girls exchange glances – what the hell is the answer to that? – but Rio shrugs easily.

“Kinda.” He breaks into a grin. “Look how big you are, man!”

Ben's face cracks into an equally enthusiastic smile even as he tries for a nonchalant shrug. 

“Well, I was like four or something last time you saw me.”

“Yeah, ’round there,” he nods. “Dope tie.”

“Thanks.”

And already she can see him warming up to him, over a decade melting away like nothing. One day she'll have to ask him how he does that.

“Up top.”

They high five, Rio grinning down at him likes he's _his own son,_ and Beth's heart clenches so tight, for a second she can't breathe.

“Hey, can you fill in a survey for me?” Ben asks suddenly. “It’s for school and I have limited access to adults.”

Rio smirks. “Sure.”

He leads him over to his desk in the corner of the room and Annie joins Beth in the kitchen, immediately settling her with a suspicious gaze.

“So.”

Beth rolls her eyes.

“So.”

“When I walked in,” she starts lowly, “it looked like you two were singing _Endless Love_ to each other.”

She scoffs. “We weren’t singing.”

“So what _did_ you get up to?” she wriggles her brows.

“We baked cakes.”

“Oh, really.”

“Why are you giving me that look? There are literally cakes in front of you.”

“Yeah, but did you _bake any other cakes_?”

“I have no idea what that even means.”

“Says the one who already let him put a bun in her oven.”

God.

Fighting down a blush, she glares at her sister. “Can you get started? You’re on dinner duty.”

“Ugh. Fine. Let me go change.”

She watches her sister go before shifting her gaze to the two guys, Rio completely engrossed in the survey Ben’s taking him through.

Smiling, she looks at the cakes.

She’ll get them done in time after all.

* * *

_“Be careful with that one, it’s fragile.”_

_The driver nods and Rio passes him another box._

_“This one needs to stay cool, it’s cheesecake. Hey, didn’t I just say be careful? That look careful to you?”_

_Beth turns away from the doorway with a smile, going over to her phone to let the client know that her order is being dispatched. With a scared shitless driver, if Rio gets his way._

_When she's done, she starts packing away all her stationery supplies that she uses to write personalised messages on. These two had been for a twin birthday party and to say their mother had been overbearing would be an understatement. Beth had gone back and forth with the client for the past five weeks re-adjusting her original pitch and promising that,_ yes, _she could make them look different but not too different and pastel but not baby-like and—_

_“And that’s that.”_

_Rio’s arms wrap around her and Beth smiles._

_“Thanks for the help.”_

_“Damn, I’m just glad it’s over,” he groans. “Feels like you been busy with that order for a year. Been neglecting your man.”_

_She rolls her eyes even though he can’t see it._

_“‘My man’ hasn’t been home for me to neglect, so I don’t see how that’s possible.”_

_“I’m home now.”_

_“_ Now _I have to clean the kitchen, it’s a mess.”_

 _He hums into her neck, nosing_ _away_ _her hair._

 _“_ Or _you could leave it for your sister to do later and come sit on my face.”_

_There’s an instant throbbing between her legs and she swallows hard._

_“Option two.”_

_“_ Option two _?”_

_“Yeah.”_

* * *

There’s a hand on her waist.

She'd gotten so wrapped up in placing the completed teddy bear that she hadn’t noticed them finishing up; Ben leaving the room.

“It looks good,” Rio notes, tone syrupy smooth.

There’s nothing inappropriate about his touch or their proximity, but it feels so anyhow.

“Thanks,” she swallows.

“Maybe I’ll order that cake from you after all. Demon’s birthday’s comin up.”

She smiles in spite of herself and his lips quirk up too.

“You want a teddy bear for him, too?”

“Oh, definitely.”

She giggles but then his hand comes up to her face, putting an abrupt end to it.

Beth sucks in a breath.

“Don’t kiss me.”

“Naw?”

Her eyes dart to his lips and it strikes her that they _haven’t_ kissed today – the first time in a long time they’ve spent together that comprised nothing but talking.

And now she really does want him to kiss her.

But she clears her throat.

“Ben’s home.”

“He’s a good kid.”

“You’re good with him,” she returns.

_You would’ve been an incredible father, Rio. I know that more than I know anything in this world._

It’s like he’s remembering it too. Perhaps today they’ve recalled everything together.

“Elizabeth.”

But there’s nothing else, just the bounce of his Adam’s apple as his gaze sears at her skin.

Then, after a long moment, he removes his hand. Her cheek feels cold without it.

“I should head out.”

She wants him to stay.

“Ok.”

He seems like he’s about to say more but then Annie’s back, whistling Cotton-Eyed Joe, and they part once more.

He’s at the front door in a second and the word bubbles up from her throat.

“Wait.”

Her cheeks flush as she heads toward him, feeling Annie’s eyes on them both.

“...Thanks for helping today.”

He pulls a face.

“You didn’t need it. Thanks for letting me help.”

Staring at him, she berates herself for not letting him kiss her.

“It was nice,” she admits, tone deliberately even.

In lieu of a reply, he smiles, and it’s genuine; warm. She finds herself doing the same, lost in his eyes.

It’s ludicrous but it reminds her of the day they’d met.

_See ya._

_Rio. Do you_ want _to have lunch with me?_

_…A’ight._

“So I’mma call you later.”

And god, how many times has she heard that? After class, after a date, after Annie had interrupted a steamy makeout session.

“Ok.”

Their eyes meet for a second longer and then, after a squeeze at her arm, he’s gone.

She stares at the front door for a while longer, trying to process.

What had just happened?

What now?

“Oh. My. God. The man’s a genius.”

It takes her a second to shake out of it before she can turn to her sister.

“Excuse me?”

“You gave him two terrible options and he _made_ a third. It’s genius. I don’t know why I’m shocked – he’s the one who taught me how to play chess and, you know, he _is_ a kingpin and stuff.”

“ _What_ are you talking about?”

Before she can answer, Ben enters, waving his stack of surveys.

“Can someone tell me what’s going on? And why Uncle Rio didn’t put down a last name?”

Annie snorts. “Beth, why don’t you take those?”

But his eyes narrow.

“Wait, is this why you told me not to ask Aunt Beth who the father is?”

Annie grins proudly. “I’m so glad I have a smart kid.”

Beth lets out a breath.

“Ok, yes, Rio is the father. But he’s not… _It’s_ not… the way it used to be.”

She clears her throat awkwardly and Ben only looks more sceptical.

“And he’s, what? A drug dealer?”

“What did he write on the survey?” Annie wonders.

He consults it with a sigh.

“Imports and exports.”

“Little on the nose,” Annie frowns.

“He’s not a drug dealer,” Beth inputs.

“Yeah, he’s more like who drug dealers wanna be when they grow up.”

Ben lets out a _whoosh_ of a breath.

“I can’t believe this is real; I always thought you were lying.”

“What?!” Annie gasps. “Why?”

“Well, when I asked ‘Who’s the guy with the bird I remember?’ and you said ‘Aunt Beth’s gang boyfriend’, that somehow didn’t make a lot of sense to me.”

“And now you have hard proof that I never lie to you,” she grins. “Like when I said butterfly poop tastes like liquorice? Totally true.”

“That’s _definitely_ not even slightly true.” Before she can retort: “But _maybe now_ you can tell Aunt Beth about your boyfriend.”

Beth’s jaw drops as Annie emits a horrified gasp.

“Ok, _first of all_ , he isn’t my boyfriend. He’s just a guy I’m monogamously seeing romantically.”

“Uh-huh,” Ben rolls his eyes before turning on his heel and heading to the bedroom.

“Yeah, go to your room!” she calls after.

Beth stares, mouth agape.

“You’re seeing someone?!”

“Ok,” she holds up her hands, “it’s not _like that_.”

“Who is he??”

Letting out a long sigh, she takes a seat at the counter.

“I met him at the school.”

“He’s a teacher?” Beth frowns.

She can’t imagine her sister dating a teacher.

“ _No_.” She squirms, clearly uncomfortable about all of this for some reason. “He’s a sound guy, so he helps the drama department. And it turns out Ben was dealing with some bullying at school and he helped him and that’s how we… met.”

Ok.

“So what’s the problem? Why won’t you call him your boyfriend?”

“Because – like a moron! – I shared personal information about myself, including how I normally jump into relationships, you know,” she gestures, and Beth nods. “I guess he’s kind of done the same in the past and that led him to deciding that we should take things _super_ slow.”

Beth frowns, trying hard to follow.

“And how long ago was this?”

“Five _months_ ," she half-sobs. "And I still haven’t gotten laid.”

Beth's caught between annoyance at her sister’s priorities and shock that she’s been seeing someone for so long without telling her, but the latter wins out. 

“So why didn’t you tell me about him?”

Usually Annie keeps her boyfriends secret because Beth would never approve of them, but this guy sounds really decent. Helping Ben out plus respecting her enough not to jump right in? Sounds like a winner to her.

“Well…”

And now the squirming starts back up and Beth settles a laser glare on her sister. What’s going on?

She clears her throat.

“Technically I didn’t _meet_ him at the school; I re-met him.”

“…You’d met him somewhere else before? Where?”

“…At.” She shifts. “The apartment. Our old one. The night… you went to the hospital.”

Wait, what?

Her mind spins, trying to produce something from before the end of everything.

_Beth, are you ok?_

_Yeah. Just some back cramps._

_What kind of back cramps?_

_Yo, can I get somethin to drink or somethin?_

And then in her mind she sees him – curly black hair; shocking blue eyes.

“The _gangbanger_?”

“His name is Eddie.”

“Oh my god.”

She grabs a chair before her knees give out on her then drops her head into her hands, taking long deep breaths.

“He’s actually really nice. Do you think that’s our type? Kind criminals? Pretty niche. I don’t think even PornHub has that category. Although it does have a ring to it.”

“Oh my god, please stop talking.”

“Well, I don’t know what else to do when you do the whole ‘I’m too disappointed to hold my own neck up’ routine!”

Breathe.

Slowly she peels her fingers away from her face, trying to remember everything else her sister had just said about the guy. He’d helped Ben. He wants a genuine relationship with her.

“There really wasn’t anybody else?” she groans.

“It’s not like I planned it! He helped my kid, we got to talking…”

And suddenly her hand flies to her belly.

“You didn’t tell him about—"

“ _No_ ,” she stresses. “Of course not. He doesn’t know the first thing about you. Or Gangfriend, BTW. He’s been out for a year.”

“So you didn’t tell him he’s back in town?”

“Nope.”

“Or anything about me?”

“He doesn’t even know I live with you now. Surprisingly, Beth, you aren’t the main topic of conversation when I’m with my boyfriend.”

And this brings a small smile to Beth’s lips.

“You called him your boyfriend.”

She shrieks.

“Slip of the tongue!”

Beth laughs. “Ok.”

Then, thinking about it: “Are you sure it’s safe? That he’s really out?”

Annie shrugs. “More than your guy is.”

God.

It’s an excellent point and one she definitely doesn’t want to think about right now. Especially after their day together.

_The boss don’t make small enemies. The kinda people who’d look at that and see a whole buncha leverage._

But today she’d felt herself slipping; not caring.

And it had felt so good, so free. Like being young again, like being back at the beginning all over again.

_What do you do?_

_I make money._

_I’m serious._

_What do you think I do? It bother you?_

_I don’t know. No._

But.

“What did you mean?”

Annie seems like she’d been in reverie too, looking up with a frown.

“Hmm?”

“You said something about chess earlier. And a third option,” she recounts.

“Oh,” Annie shrugs. “Yeah. I was just saying the dude’s thinking ahead. And actually,” she grins, “I was joking before, but now this _really is How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days_.”

Beth shakes her head, feeling like her sister’s speaking Greek.

“What are you _talking_ about?”

“Ok, you said you didn’t have sex today, right?” she starts off slowly.

“Yeah.”

“And I’m guessing there was lots of nostalgia and ‘Remember when’s?”

“I… guess.”

“Bonding?”

“What are you getting at?” she snaps, irritated.

“ _I’m getting at_ not so long ago you were trying to boot him out the door and now it’s like you’re deeper in than ever with the goo-goo eyes and the ‘Thanks for the help’, kissy face emoji.”

Beth’s scoffing at the air, trying to find words to defend herself, but Annie doesn’t wait for a response.

“Homeboy’s playing you like a fiddle. Or a chess piece, or whatever. Probably since the beginning. You offered him friends with benefits and he must've taken it because he knew it was the only route to what he really wants,” she shrugs.

“Which is what?”

“You. Duh. In love with him again and wrapped around his little finger.”

She’s shaking her head, hard, but it can’t stop the sinking feeling in her stomach; can’t refute everything suddenly falling into place.

_Tell me you remember._

_I remember._

_I remember looking up and you were glowing brighter than the stars behind you and I knew, all the sudden I knew, you were the only woman in the world for me._

“Kind of ironic, isn’t it? All that talk about how you know Rio; know how he thinks. Did you ever think about how well he knows you?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience! It will not be rewarded. (Jk jk, thank you so so much for all your love and support on this story; I appreciate you guys so much ❤️)

“I'm sure she's fine.”

“But they told her to wear yellow if she needed help and then she _wore yellow_.”

“ _I_ wore yellow two days ago.”

“Yeah, I meant to tell you that shirt was ugly.”

Beth gasps. “In the fitting room you said—”

“Can I hang out with Uncle Rio tonight?”

They both look up, jaws agape, to stare at the boy in front of them, whose expression could not be more casually oblivious.

“W-what?” Beth manages.

“Ok, honey, that is about the last thing in the world we expected you to walk in and say, so do you think you could provide _a little more_ context?”

Ben shrugs. “We’ve been texting and he asked if I wanted to go see a movie tonight.”

They’ve… been _texting_?

“And you want to?” Annie squints.

“Would I be asking if I didn’t?”

A pause.

“Well… _yeah_ , then it’s totally cool with _me_.” She shoots a sidelong glance at Beth before clearing her throat. “Just make sure you’re all packed for when your dad comes to get you.”

“Yes!” he grins, before looking at her. “Aunt Beth?”

And, realising that she must look like a fish out of water, Beth closes her mouth before swallowing a few times.

“Ben, I just… don’t think it’s safe.”

He frowns in confusion. “But my mom just said I could go.”

“Well, if your mom said it then it _must be_ smart.”

Annie scoffs from beside her, mouth opening, but Ben speaks first.

“Ok, I’d love to get involved in whatever argument you two are having, but he’s waiting for me to reply,” he points at his phone.

“Yeah, don’t wanna keep the crime lord waiting, Beth. Doesn’t seem _safe_.”

She glowers at her sister before turning back to Ben, who has far too persuasive eyes.

“Fine,” she sighs, squirming. “If _your mom_ thinks it’s a good idea then I guess _I_ can’t argue with that.”

Ben looks between the two of them then seemingly decides not to comment, heading back to his room as he types on his phone.

Annie snorts as soon as he’s gone.

“Why didn’t you just make him sign a waiver, too?”

“Maybe _Rio will_ before the movie,” she retorts cattily.

“Riiiight, because this is alllll about the matter of safety around the man you’ve been boinking for weeks.”

“In the safety of my own home!”

“That sounded better in your head, didn’t it?”

“God, why do you always have to be wilfully mutinous?!”

“Says the one avoiding the father of her baby,” Annie scoffs. “I mean, how long’s it been, a week?”

“If he wanted me to talk to him, maybe he shouldn’t have tried to manipulate me.”

“You see the hypocrisy there, right?”

She gasps.

“ _I_ was only in the planning stage! I may not even have gone through with it – _he_ actually _did_ it!”

“What is this, federal court? Are you arguing from murder one to manslaughter-manipulation?”

She’s not even going to try to address that.

“ _You’re_ the one who told me not to trust him!”

“Ok, that’s _not_ what I said!” she points out. “I was simply… _admiring_ a fellow maestro at work! You know how many schemes _I_ had to pull on you to let me go to parties? ‘Pregnancy scare intervention’ was practically a synonym for ‘rave’.”

“Whatever.”

“I say this as your sister: You’re hopped up on hormones and being absurd.”

“And you’re being reckless and selfish,” she spits back. “You’re putting your son’s life in danger, for what? The opportunity to watch me squirm?”

“ _I’m_ being selfish? You don’t want him to go to the _movies_ with his _uncle_ just because _you’re_ trying to avoid him!”

“He’s not his uncle!” she yells, frustrated. “And just because you _call_ him that doesn’t mean he’s someone safe to let into a child’s life!”

“You know what, Beth? That’s _your_ hang-up, not mine. I feel pretty confident he isn’t gonna let anything happen to my kid. Like I’m on a solid eighty percent.”

She hops up as Beth stares back in astonishment.

“Maybe I’ll go find out if they need a third wheel.”

Which Beth thinks is a joke but some time after Annie’s dropped off Ben, she snatches up her car keys, her bag over her shoulder.

“Where are you going?” Beth frowns.

“Kid texted me. Wants me to come meet them.”

“Shouldn’t the movie be over by now?”

She nods. “It is; it’s for something else.”

“What?”

“Don’t know,” Annie shrugs, completely unworried. “You’re not invited, though.”

“I—” She scoffs. “I— wouldn’t even _want_ to be.”

“Very convincing.”

“Don’t call me to pay the bail.”

“That would be funny if you weren’t the poor one.”

And she’s just considering taking off her shoe to lob it at her sister when the door slams closed behind her.

* * *

_“You set up the TV?!”_

_Annie drops her bag as she kicks off her shoes – god, what a fuckass of a day._

_Rio pops his head up to regard her over the couch._

_“Uh-huh.”_

_“Dope.”_

_She rounds the couch with a raised brow, noting the basketball he’s watching through half-open lids._

_“There's something else on, right?”_

_“My TV, my couch, my choice.”_

_Gah, fine. There are worse things._

_She flops down on the couch, narrowly missing his legs – okay, she doesn’t miss them. He winces before shooting her a glare._

_“The fuck?”_

_“Nobody told you to be this tall,” she points out._

_He mutters something under his breath that she chooses not to listen in on – she has to deal with enough slights on her height aloud. Instead she adjusts her ass then slaps hard where it had just been._

_“Hey.”_

_His glare is renewed as he peers at her._

_“Yo.”_

_She studies him now, his gangly ass haphazardly wrapped up in the couch blanket. It’s like twisted around his one leg weirdly, meaning it’s really his own fucking fault she sat on him. Who does some camouflage shit with a_ couch _then gets annoyed when they get sat on?_

_Anyway._

_“Where's my sister?”_

_“Ruby's.”_

_Huh._

_“When's she getting back?”_

_“Dunno,” he shrugs a shoulder, turning back to the TV._

_“Rough day?” she wonders._

_He’s usually like at least_ an iota _more fun._

_“Yip.” He adjusts to look at her again. “You?”_

_“Eh. Same cash register, different day.”_

_“You gotta get outta that place.”_

_“One day, hombre.”_

_He rolls his eyes as she tries to figure out how she’s gonna get him to relinquish the remote control._

_But first._

_“What's for dinner?”_

_“Uhhhh.” He juts out his lip. “Dunno.”_

_“Well, are you gonna order us something?”_

_He glowers. “Why don't_ you _order somethin?”_

_“I can, but you're the one who has to pay, so.”_

_Rolling his eyes, Rio reaches under the blanket to find a wad of cash in his pocket then tosses it at her._

_“Ohhhh yeah,” she grins. “We're getting pizza_ and _Chinese tonight, ladies and gentlemen.”_

_“Two pepperoni and extra egg rolls,” he places his order._

_Meaning the total list comes to—_

_“Am I only ordering for us?”_

_Beth likes that weird mushroom pizza, which she definitely isn’t ordering if she isn’t even gonna be here to eat it._

_“Like I'm supposed to know?”_

Oh _._

_“Boy, you're pissed.”_

_Grumbling, he turns completely away from her._

_“Just order the damn food.”_

_She does, and it’s ten minutes and an outfit change later when Annie collapses back on the couch, making sure to miss his stupid legs this time. Which is easy enough because he’s barely moved._

_“What's Beth doing at Ruby's anyhow?” she wonders. “_ I _wasn't invited.”_

_Rio scoffs under his breath. “You mean besides avoiding being here?”_

_Ohhhh._

_“You noticed that too, huh?” She curls her legs up under her. “You're smarter than you look.”_

_It earns her a reluctant smile, finally cracking through and getting his attention._

_He turns to her with a heavy sigh._

_“I’m just tired, man.”_

_She watches him._

_“So is this gonna be a fight when she gets home? Just so I know to take cover slash make popcorn – whichever seems more appealing in the moment.”_

_His eyes roll, though he barely seems to register her words, getting fidgety._

_“I mean, it’s fucked up, right?”_

_Rarely does Annie_ ever _point out that she’s only nineteen years old and doesn’t know everything, but she’s about to make an exception – only, he continues speaking._

_“A week ago she’s all pumped to move in here; got more space; get away from your asshole landlord. And now we here and it’s like she’d rather be anywhere else.”_

_This sits in the air for a long minute as they process._

_Her especially. Real talk isn’t really what they do – it’s more like endless ribbing and pretending they’d never put up with one another if they weren't forced to._

_He seems pretty hopeless, though, which is sad because it’s not like_ she _has any answers for him._ Beth _’s the one who always does things for a reason, who has shit together— Well. Maybe she does have an answer after all._

_“It’s not you,” she points out._

_Sharing a kid, a place, a bedroom and a bed with one man for, like, ever? Annie Marks would be running for the hills. But Beth’s more of the settling down type – thank god it hadn’t been with that Dean dummy – and hasn’t been as grossly head over heels for anyone besides this doofus._

_He sucks in his cheeks._

_“Ain’t it?”_

_Annie sighs, gesturing vaguely._

_“This is just a part of her process.”_

_“Her process,” he repeats dryly._

_“I told you about the Baby Upright and the piano lessons, right? She just needs to freak out for a while before she can let her freak flag fly,” she shrugs._

_“…I don't think that means what you think it does.”_

* * *

_“Please_ say it’s ok, Mom.”

Annie looks from her son to Rio then clears her throat.

“Give me and your uncle a sec here, ok?”

He sighs but then wanders off, leaving them alone in the aisle.

Annie hesitates for a long minute, trying to figure out the best angle to come at this from. It’s not like conflict resolution is her gift from God or anything. (That’s being able to give incredible head.)

Finally, seeing no other way for it, she sets her sights on him.

“Permission to get real for a minute?”

He laughs a little then wipes it away as he nods.

“Granted.”

She shares his smile for a second before… well, getting real.

“You left us.”

“Look—”

“Nope. It’s my minute.”

His mouth shuts and he folds his arms, waiting.

“You left _us_ , it wasn’t just her. And I appreciate the loan, but you can’t just buy your way back in, that’s not how family works.”

“I know.”

“That’s my kid.”

“I know.”

“He is everything in this world to me.”

He sucks in a sharp breath. “I know.”

“You were a part of his life and then you just ditched and now this. Why?”

And now that it is his turn to speak, he seems speechless; searching for the right words.

Eventually he shrugs.

“I like him.” Another shrug. “Missed a lotta birthdays.”

Her shoulders sag, giving up the tough guy act.

“That you did, my friend.”

“Look, I know I owe a lotta apologies.”

She regards him.

“And about a dozen returned phone calls.”

“I’m sorry, I—”

“I’m just playing, man. Beth told me why…” She cuts herself off, thinking over her next words, then utters them quietly: “Why Demon called me that day.”

_Demon called me today. Wanting to know how Beth is. I don’t know if it was for you or not, but he kind of made it seem like… Are you ok? Please just call me back. I’m really worried._

He rubs at his nose as he clears his throat, looking away awkwardly.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” she points out.

She’s a font of informed non-judgement since Ben’s transition, having gobbled up every single thing there is on the internet about mental health. (Among a host of other things – she now knows more about teenagers than she ever did when she actually was one.)

“There is in my line of work.”

Ok, fair point.

She sighs. “I get that.”

The silence stretches and Annie wonders how many conversations about suicide have happened in this aisle. Her guess is in the one to five range – there are some creepy dolls visible from here. 

“Do you know why Elizabeth’s ghosting me?”

Zoning back into the conversation, Annie sucks at her teeth for a second then shrugs.

“I do.”

“But you ain’t gon’ tell me?”

Does _Sisters before misters_ count if your sister’s being a Grade A moron? Hmmm.

“…Did you _listen_ to my messages?”

It takes him a hesitant second, but then he nods.

“Yea.”

“Then you have some idea what she was like after you left.”

_Beth pretty much just lays on the couch all day with dead eyes._

_It’s been three weeks and she still cries every night._

He doesn’t say anything, can’t meet her eyes, but kicks at the ground in some sort of acknowledgement.

“It took her a long time to be able to trust anyone again. I mean the barest amount of trust, like genuine shock at anyone coming through on anything kind of trust. And then Dean…”

“Yeah,” he nods, voice gruff with anger.

She bites on the inside of her cheek for a long second then sighs.

“And that’s about all I can say.”

He pops a brow.

“F’real?”

“Snitches get stitches.”

 _Bitches get breeches_ – her suggested ending to that saying. Eddie’s vetoed it, but she thinks it has legs. (Yes, pun intended.)

Rio’s lip quirks up almost involuntarily.

“That’s fair enough.”

“Now do you wanna talk about this deal or what?”

He sighs long and heavy, looking away at the kid.

The stare lingers, there’s something behind it, before his gaze returns to hers.

“Permission to get real for a second?”

* * *

Nerves yank at her stomach lining the instant the key turns in the lock.

Beth had planned to be fully submerged in a bath by the time they got back – but, for God’s sake, had been thwarted by a peanut butter craving.

She still has the spoon in her mouth when the door opens, Ben rattling off facts a mile a minute – specifications, it seems like.

“You can get your heart rate read with your fingerprint! And there’s a compass and it can make emergency calls and—”

Beth misses the rest of it as Rio walks in, somehow instantly finding her; her eyes.

It’s not till Annie tells her son to stop babbling that Beth realises he had still been – she draws her gaze away to look at Ben now, her eyes widening as she takes in the huge white box in his hands.

Before she can ask, he’s grinning at her.

“Uncle Rio bought me an iPad! And an Apple Watch!”

He sticks his harm out gleefully and, pulling the spoon from her mouth, Beth’s eyes go from it to Rio.

“Did he.”

He shrugs a shoulder, a storm behind his eyes even as his tone comes out cursory.

“Was a deal.”

Her gaze goes back to the watch.

_It was my dad’s. He left it behind... Just like he left us._

_I’ll keep it forever._

She swallows and her sister seems to notice.

“Okayyyy, why don’t we unpack the fancy gadgets in—”

There’s a knock on the door and time seems to freeze – like they’re mid-set in a play and a stranger is calling.

Then Annie takes a breath of realisation.

“It’s Gregg.”

The room seems to expand to size again, but Beth remains stock still as Annie tells Ben to go fetch his bag.

She can feel Rio’s eyes still on her and before she can move – escape – he’s in the kitchen with her, taking up too much space.

It had taken some doing, but she’d gotten used to not seeing him; not being around him. Not having his scent surrounding her or the weight of his gaze on her and their child between them.

“Can we talk?”

It comes out lowly, near plausible to miss, but asking him to repeat would only delay her escape.

“Actually, I ran a bath…”

His eyes shift to her exit path, like her body is already leaning towards it – maybe it is – but then several things happen at once.

The door opens, Gregg comes inside, sees his son, sees the Apple box and then sees… Rio.

Oh.

“What’s going on?”

Crap.

She clears her throat. “Gregg, you remember—”

“ _Yeah_ , I _remember_ —”

“Dad, look at the cool stuff Uncle Rio bought me!”

“The… what?”

There’s absolute bewilderment on his face and Rio finally turns away from her to take in the scene too – Gregg aggressively coming towards them but being thwarted by a near-bouncing Ben showing off his new watch. 

Both women are miles ahead – silently communicating that this is about to become a hurtling fuck-up.

Before either of them can open their mouths, though, Gregg’s face is marring as he twists back to Annie.

“This is the kind of guys you’re having around our son?”

It’s exactly the wrong thing to say – Beth watches all will for harmony leave her sister’s body as it instantly goes on defence.

“Oh yeah, sure, _this_ is the guy your panties are in a knot about.”

He scoffs. “Because you think I give a crap who you’re bedding this week?”

“Ben, do you wanna…?” Beth suggests, to which the boy nods before heading to his room, expression crushed.

“Oh great, look what you did now,” Annie spits. “He actually had a great night! And you ruined it with your petty jealousy!”

“He spent the _whole night_ with that scumbag?!”

“Gregg, they – they just went to the movies,” Beth finds herself explaining.

“ _Just_?” His eyes go from one sister to the other. “What the fuck is wrong with you people? You don’t watch the news? You don’t know who was behind that shootout last week or every twisted thing that happens in this city?”

“What are you, running for congressman?” Annie scoffs.

God, she wishes her sister knew _any_ methods of de-escalation.

Beth fully exits the kitchen to try and do some of her own, but Gregg turns to look at her, his gaze dipping down and suddenly… She sees the realisation fill his eyes; the horror.

Shit.

He turns on Annie.

“Whatever the hell’s going on here – I don't want him around my son.”

_He’s not his uncle! And just because you call him that doesn’t mean he’s someone safe to let into a child’s life!_

Annie’s face twists.

“There was a time he was helping to _raise_ ‘your son’. Keeping a roof over his head. Where was your outrage then?”

“I was 17!” he exclaims. “And I don’t give a fuck what he did when – right now he’s not spending his blood money on my kid!”

There’s a throat clear.

It’s small but seems to echo throughout the room anyway; demand attention from the crevices of its quiet.

And it suddenly seems to dawn on them all that the person they’re talking about is right in the room with them.

Slowly they all turn and – Rio’s face sends shivers down her back. It’s been years since she’s seen that look in his eyes.

Her body moves before her brain can name it – murder, it’s murder – putting herself between them as Rio gets across the room in what feels like an instant.

And then her mind does catch up and if it were the time for it, the irony of her giant protruding belly filled with life being the only thing standing between Gregg and death would make her smile.

Rio’s jaw cocks.

“So you know who I am, huh?”

“Yeah,” he spits out venomously, “I do.”

“That's good,” he says, smile wide then instantly vanishing. “’Cuz if you didn't, you wouldn't believe me when I said I'll blow your fuckin head off.”

He gets a little closer; chin lifting a little higher. The bird’s eyes seem to spark with ferocity.

“Don't play with me. Trust me, better men have tried.” He jerks his head. “Now get out.”

It takes Gregg a second to break the petrification and then he’s bolting, out the door as fast as Annie can open it.

Her sister follows, Beth trying to overhear more than just her saying that she’ll check with Ben whether he still wants to come over – but suddenly there’s a hand on her arm.

It’s soft – so deceptively gentle; so void of the person who’d just threatened to kill someone without blinking an eye.

She turns to face him with a swallow.

“Water’s gotta be cold by now.”

Beth blinks once then twice – then remembers. Her bath.

She can’t help smiling.

“Yeah.”

He runs a finger across his nose.

“Ya want some help?”

It’s loaded. She backs up a little.

“I don’t need help.”

_I've been doing fine by myself, thank you._

“Riiight.”

His eyes gleam with something and she hates it – hates that he’s inside her head when she hasn’t let him in; that he’s always one step ahead even when she doesn’t know how.

_Homeboy’s playing you like a fiddle. Or a chess piece, or whatever. Probably since the beginning._

Her back straightens again and she’s about to ask him to leave when the front door slams.

“Drama, drama, drama!”

Rio draws his eyes away from her to smirk at Annie.

“He piss his pants?”

“Nearly,” she snorts.

“You ok?”

“Super,” she nods.

It’s a lie, though – she can tell it had all taken a toll on her.

Even her sister isn’t impervious to insecurities about her parenting. Especially when Beth had already laid the groundwork for it earlier today.

Looking at the heaviness in her brow, Beth thinks she needs to stop doing that.

But, ever the jester, Annie shrugs.

“Thanks for not killing him, at least.”

“I’d never kill someone in your house,” he responds, dead serious.

Annie and Beth blink at each other for a few seconds before Annie forces a smile.

“You know what, the sentiment is there, so I’m gonna take the win and go talk to my kid.”

With that she spins on her heel and heads toward the bedroom, leaving them alone once more.

But it’s better because now she has something to re-route them. It’s better.

“Gregg was out of line,” she clears her throat, “but he was right about one thing.”

He stares.

“And what’s that?”

_Scumbag._

_Every twisted thing that happens in this city._

_Blood money._

“You can’t buy Ben such expensive gifts.”

Is there relief in his jaw? She doesn’t know. She doesn’t think she wants to.

She wishes she could stop reading him; stop trying to. Wishes she could rend their souls apart.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s just not ok,” she scoffs.

She’s no longer glad for the re-route – now it feels as though it’s quicksand when all she wants is for him to be gone. Now and forever.

When all he does is complicate everything that should be simple. 

“His ma said it was cool,” he points out, rolling his shoulders.

“Yeah, well, Annie says a lot of things are cool.”

He clicks his tongue. “Still her kid.”

“I _know_ ,” she glares. “But you’re the one buying it.”

Annoyance flits through his eyes even as he takes a step closer.

“Look here, mami – you the mother of my _kids_ , not me.”

She blinks.

Yes. The mother of his children. No way to split their souls when the evidence of its tenure lives and breathes inside her.

“Ok.”

What else is there left to say?

“So why you been dodgin me?” he asks, lips stiff.

And, looking at his lips, it occurs to her that they’re standing nearly identically to the way they had that day.

_I didn't believe in God much ’fore that but, mami, you made me a believer._

She takes a step back.

“I haven’t.”

“Hmm. That why I ain’t heard from you in days?”

Right.

“I… no longer require your services.”

“My _services_?”

Is it possible for someone else’s words to stick in your throat? They scratch and tear; she thinks she’ll choke on the disgust in his eyes. She feels it, too, eating at the lining of her stomach.

But she says it anyway.

“You knew what you were getting into.”

_You offered him friends with benefits and he must've taken it because he knew it was the only route to what he really wants._

_Which is what?_

_You. Duh. In love with him again and wrapped around his little finger._

His jaw rocks. Back and forth; his body following, weight shifting like blame.

“My bad. Forgot I was just donor number three on the lineup.”

_So if she ain't my responsibility, what does that make me, Elizabeth? A sperm donor?_

No; god, no.

_Marry me._

She can’t think about that day; she can’t.

“You know you haven’t said if you even want this baby?”

Fuck.

The words leave her mouth like a bullet but they’re unbidden; rocking them both.

“ _What_?”

Rio’s blinking as she considers lip sealant or never getting pregnant or having a hormone-less pregnancy or doing whatever the hell it takes so she stops saying things that have no business being said.

But now it’s too late, the words are out there, and she’d rather lean in than take them back.

“ _Do_ you?”

“Why the fuck else would I be here?” he spits out, breathless with astonishment.

“I don’t know – because you feel obligated.”

He stares.

She swallows.

_I’d never leave my kid._

“…There’s a difference between wanting to be here and feeling like you should be here.”

He lets out another breath, head shaking.

“Where you even getting this from?”

“You said you weren’t happy and that I should’ve taken the pill,” she points out.

These moments seem to replay in his head; she watches him deflate.

“That ain’t what I said.”

God, she’s so sick of it. So utterly done.

“Whatever.”

_That's my kid?_

_Are you happy?_

_I been wonderin what I am since the second I heard that message._

“Look, this ain’t normal, a’ight, and—”

“What about us ever is?” she scoffs, the resentment razor-sharp.

He stops for a moment, stares at her, and she swallows.

 _The life we live isn’t normal, I get that. I’m ok_ _with that. But I can’t act like I’m the same as everyone else at brunch when someone asks me what my boyfriend does and I wonder whether they’re wearing a wire._

But the truth is, she’d never been ok with it. Even less so after everything else that had happened.

She doesn’t want that life again. Even if he could guarantee their safety, she wouldn’t want that for her or her daughter.

And yes, she’s had normal now – being the perfect Mrs Boland – and that was a scam too, but the truth is she doesn’t have to choose. She can do this without him. She can. Annie and Ben are living proof of that.

_Turns out the fear that you’re going to be – even – worse than your mother is universal._

_You worry about that?_

_Yeah._

_You know you already raised your sister and you’re like her kid’s second mama, right?_

If only she could stop _thinking_.

In the past week she’d tried so hard to just be mad, but he makes time slip away and now that he’s in her life it’s like all of their past is again, too, and nothing she does or thinks doesn’t trigger thoughts of him.

While measuring out cocoa powder, the other day. The cupcakes ended up vanilla.

Rio’s nostrils flare; chest re-inflated with some sort of frustration.

“What do you want me to do, huh?”

“Decide what you want,” she barks impulsively. “Be her father or get out of her life.”

It comes out spontaneously, but… Maybe it’s exactly the right answer – for them both.

_If I could choose you, I would. But I’m in way too damn deep and this ain't the Boy Scouts. I can't just leave._

Maybe she doesn’t need a plan, maybe he’ll just _see_ how impossible this all is; that there’s no way to make it work.

But, face twisting, he takes her response differently.

“Oh, that’s rich,” he scoffs, “comin from the person who treats me like some librarian from off the street. When exactly am I supposed to bond wit’ my kid, huh? At the scans I ain’t invited to?”

It sends her a step back, but she forces her spine to straighten – she has to be strong. For her baby, she has to be.

“I don’t owe you that.”

His eyes are black with fury.

“That a fact?”

“Yes.”

Yes. She doesn’t need him.

“I made it very clear what I was able to offer.”

_Here's what I know. I'm crazy hormonal. It's even worse than it was then._

_So you want, what?_

_You. This. That's all I have to offer._

“And you ruined it by treating me like a pawn.” Her voice is breathy with fury. “Now there’s nothing left, and that’s on you.”

_I can't be with you. Not until she's here._

_And after that?_

_I guess then you sue me for custody._

He stares at her, jaw stony. Now he knows she’d figured out his little game. Trapped, he’s trapped.

Good. Maybe now he’ll know what it feels like.

“You know, it’s funny.” The laugh comes from the back of her throat, hollow and cold. “For a chess player, you sure are bad at remembering who the queen is.”

His lip quirks up but there’s no real amusement in it either. He’s beaten. He knows it.

Without another word, he spins and walks away.

She lets out a breath of relief when he's almost to the door but then, two steps away, he stops.

For a second he just stands there, motionless, and she has a horrid flashback.

_You’re everything to me, Elizabeth. Always will be._

“I do want this baby. More than anything.”

Her throat constricts as she stares at his back, cold and unyielding.

“She’s all I got.”

* * *

_Annie tips big – hey, it’s not her money – then kicks the door closed._

_Rio’s waiting by the kitchen counter when she deposits the feast she’d ordered onto it._

_He’s busy checking his phone but then chucks it, reaching for a pizza box, and her gaze follows it._

_“Guess she isn’t coming home for dinner?”_

_The food delivery had interrupted their talk – it’s a good thing she’s starving because it’s not every day Annie Marks gets to deliver some sage advice; she’s raring to go with her Big Realisation._

_“Guess not,” he shrugs, not making eye contact._

Is she coming home at all? _is what she wants to ask but, contrary to popular belief, she does actually have a filtering system so, sitting, she decides to just dive right back in where they’d left off._

I mean, it’s fucked up, right? A week ago she’s all pumped to move in here; got more space; get away from your asshole landlord. And now we here and it’s like she’d rather be anywhere else.

_“She just needs, like, a project.”_

_He pauses mid-bite to arch a brow before looking around very deliberately._

_“This ain't enough of one?”_

_The kitchen counters are littered with boxes, as is most of the floor space; all the furniture besides the couch pushed into one corner of the room, waiting for her sister to decide where she wants it all to go._

_So, ok, maybe he has a point._

_But it’s not the one she’s trying to make._

I figured if we painted the nursery, at least one thing would feel like—

It was under your control?

Like home.

_“You know the paint you bought?”_

_“Huh?”_

_“The lame green. For the baby room.”_

_“It’s aquamarine.”_

_“Cool story, bro.”_

_They exchange glares for a few seconds before he sighs._

_“What about it?”_

_Trying to be casual, she reaches for one of the Chinese-food boxes emitting the most glorious scent._

_“Ever think of doing something with it?”_

_“Whatchu talkin about?”_

_She clears her throat. “Oh, I don’t know.”_

_She reaches for a set of chopsticks but Rio – with his dumb long arms – gets there first and snaps it up, using the prongs to push her arm back and make her face him._

_“You know somethin.”_

_“Only that that paint meant a lot to her.”_

_His eyes narrow._

_“It did?”_

_Well,_ yeah _._

_God, men are dumb._

_“Do I really have to spell this out for you? Plus, you’re in a gang – you should know how loyalty works. Snitches don’t get stickers, last time I checked.”_

_He gives her a look for this but after a moment his gaze wanders beyond her, where the nursery stands empty but for the few tins of paint._

_She thinks – and hey, she’s only nineteen, it’s not like_ her _opinion matters, but she_ thinks _– that that’s what’s really bothering Beth. Not this place but the child she’s bringing into it._

_Which she’d tell him but, you know, gang loyalty._

_Instead something else makes it off her lips._

_“Are you ready to be a dad?”_

_He blinks his way out of reverie before seeming to register her question._

_Then he shrugs._

_“I guess.”_

_“How do you know?”_

_He takes another second to think this over then shrugs again, a little bigger._

_“I dunno.”_

_“Do you think you would’ve still done all this if you weren’t?” she asks, gesturing around._

_She remembers forcing her sister to repeat it twice – their rent for a brand new apartment in an awesome neighbourhood paid for_ a year _?? She could actually work her ass off not just to put food in her kid’s mouth or help keep a roof over their heads, but for things like a_ college fund _?? (Her kid’s gonna be a genius, she already knows it.)_

_Rio’s eyes narrow suspiciously._

_“I feel like we ain't on my thing no more.”_

_“Don't hog the attention. We're still like seventy-five percent on your thing.”_

_He smirks a little._

_“Fine.”_

_But she chooses to eat instead, her thoughts a whirlwind._

_In her mind she goes back to the day she’d found out she was pregnant. Telling Gregg. Having him not be able to look at her for a week. Having the first words out of his mouth thereafter be_ You’re sure it’s mine?

_“Is it scary?”_

_She doesn’t look at him for a long moment. Then, swallowing the food in her mouth, she meets his eyes._

_Rio sniffs in some sort of offence._

_“I ain't Gregg.”_

_“I know_ that _. You think Gregg bought me a sweet-ass crib?”_

_He winces. “Please don't call it that.”_

_She grins, but slowly_ _it_ _fades._

_“It's just that– permission to get emotional for thirty seconds?”_

_He seems to bite back a smile._

_“Granted.”_

_“It's just that I look at you and my sister together and all of this and I just think, how come none of that happened for me? How come I’m not enough to deserve a happy ending?”_

_She’d tried telling herself it was Rio being older than Gregg or having the dough for it – but the truth is, every time she sees them together, she knows it’s neither. It’s_ Beth _. And no one’s ever looked at Annie the way Rio looks at Beth._

_“Y'know, when you find the one who's right for you, you ain’t ever gonna have to ask that.”_

_Her eyes meet his and they’re… uncharacteristically reassuring._

_Ruby gets a kick in the shin whenever she says Annie and Rio fight like siblings but now, something like comfort spreading warmly within her, she doesn’t mind the big brother comparison. Maybe for, like, just the moment._

_“Thanks. Dude,” she adds, to keep it casual._

_“Hmm,” he nods. “Right back atcha.”_

_Oh, right. She’d helped him too. Good, they’re even._

_She’s about to ask what he has planned for the nursery when her phone goes off and, checking it, she groans._

_“What's up?”_

_“Gregg's bringing Sadie back but he says she isn't feeling well. Crap!” she realises, “We're out of the nausea stuff, though.”_

_God, he has the kid for_ a few hours _and he can’t even get it right. She wants to ask him to buy the medicine on the way, but really she just wants to hug her baby in her arms ASAP – maybe she can guilt him into going once Sadie’s safely back in her arms. But then Rio shrugs._

_“I can go get some.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yeah, I'll go now.” He hops up instantly, grabbing his phone. “Be back in ten.”_

_“Can you get like tissues and stuff too? I don’t know where they’re packed.”_

_“Uh-huh.”_

_Passing her to get to the front door, he ruffles the top of her hair roughly and she spins to glare at his back, blowing the hair out of her face._

_“I hate when you do that!”_

_“I know.”_

* * *

Beth’s munching on a carrot when Annie enters the kitchen, her hair still damp from the shower.

“So. How’d the talk go?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oookay then.” This sits for a moment before she clears her throat. “You hoarding the carrots?”

Beth pushes the container over with a smile and her sister bites into one too. For a while they just munch together.

“Did Ben have a good night? Well, before… everything.”

“Yeah,” Annie nods. “He loved it, actually. The movie was awesome and he said he liked hanging with Rio. That kid needs more friends, I swear to god.”

Beth smiles a little.

“He’s a good judge of character. Sometimes people like that are lonely.”

“Well, I’m a terrible judge of character and I’m still lonely, so how does that work?”

They giggle together then munch some more.

“How did Gregg take it?”

Annie shrugs. “It was Ben’s decision, so he didn’t have much of a choice on how to take it. He’ll come by tomorrow night to get him.”

“Do you think he really is jealous?” she wonders.

Her sister lets out a long breath.

“I mean, who knows? Over the years there’s been some correlation between his moods and my revolving door of lovers, but he also gets pissy when the sun comes up wrong.”

“Why _did_ you tell him about Eddie?”

Another sigh.

“Was kinda forced into it seeing as he’s someone I’m dating who’s met our kid.”

“Right.”

“Unintended consequence of our meet-cute,” Annie nods.

“Gregg won’t tell anyone about any of this, would he?”

She gestures first at her bump then at the lounge where he and Rio had gotten into it.

“Nah, I told him that would put us all in danger.”

Beth lets out a long sigh of relief.

“Thanks."

“Wow,” Annie gasps. “He really took it out of you, didn’t he?”

“What?”

“I was expecting more dragon lady than carrot-munching thank-you vendor.”

Beth rolls her eyes, though even this is half-hearted.

“I’m just tired.”

She looks it, too. Her sister’s been one of those rudely lucky glowy pregnant ladies, but now the life seems drained out of her.

She studies her.

“You really aren’t gonna tell me what happened?”

There’s a decision to make – she’s gathered that. Beth always munches on carrots in the dark like a fucking horse when she’s hand-wringing over some forked path or whatever.

“A lot.”

“Oh, come on! I just spilled my guts.”

Sighing, Beth decides to offer up something.

“I told him he shouldn’t have bought all the gadgets.”

Annie scoffs. “Of course you did.”

This riles her up.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you keep pretending like all of this is about something it isn’t. Like if you’re mad about the dirty oven for long enough, the house will stop being on fire.”

“The house on fire is _a crime lord_ in our lives – and the more money he spends on us, the more indebted we are to him, which is fanning the flames. Why am I the only one who sees that?”

“Because you’re an idiot, apparently, if you think the reason he’d stay would ever have anything to do with money!”

_I do want this baby. More than anything._

God.

“That’s not what I’m saying,” she says, forcing a calming breath. “I’m just saying that right now we can’t afford to be tied to him or owe him any more than we already do.”

“Well then figure out your own shit, because money is the last thing he cares about.”

And now Beth has to scoff, hard.

“Are we talking about the same guy?”

_I said ten. You tell him to stick his two million up his ass ’cuz if I wanted to be doin charity work, I’d at least be getting a tax write-off._

“Maybe we’re not,” Annie fires back. “You think you know him, just like you know _everrrythinggg_ , but guess what, Beth? People change. And while you’re _convinced_ I’m such an _awful_ mother, I actually _did_ tell him not to buy it!”

“Y-you did?”

She nods. “I pulled him aside in the store and we talked. I gave him the whole spiel – that he’s already paying for my college and that’s a loan and we can’t take any more money from him. And you know what he said, Beth?”

She shakes her head, breath bated, as Annie’s face twists.

“That he doesn’t have anyone else to spend it on.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry. My life has been a MESS, I have no other excuses. 
> 
> Thank you for still sticking with me and this story ❤️
> 
> Also, I have a Spotify playlist for this story, just in case you weren't feeling the heartbreak of it enough and want to really intensify the pain. Highly recommend 🤣 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1G0eHUcZi4K02ful41nlUg

Her finger hovers over the call button.

It’s been doing so for the past minute as she goes back and forth on doing this.

It’s a bad idea. But she feels awful.

_So I seem happy to you, huh?_

_You’re not happy?_

_Not even a lil bit._

_But… but this is the life you always dreamed about._

_That’s just it. ’Cuz I got all this, everythin I ever wanted, and it still feels like nothin without you._

She dials.

“Yo.”

He answers more quickly than she’d anticipated and suddenly all the words stick in her throat and she considers ending the call without any of them making it out.

But.

_I gave him the whole spiel – that he’s already paying for my college and that’s a loan and we can’t take any more money from him. And you know what he said, Beth? That he doesn’t have anyone else to spend it on._

“Hi.”

“What’s up? I’m busy.”

His tone is brisk; impatient.

“I just wanted to know if you were free tonight.” Before he can misconstrue: “For dinner. With the family.”

“With the family,” he repeats, rolling the words around his mouth like jagged stones.

_Oh, that’s rich comin from the person who treats me like some librarian from off the street. When exactly am I supposed to bond wit’ my kid, huh?_

“…Yeah.”

“So now we all good in the ’hood?”

She presses her eyes closed.

Silly to think they could skip this part.

“It wasn’t my finest moment,” she admits. Then, half-jokingly: “I’m pregnant, you have to give me a pass.”

He makes a sound of acknowledgement that seems at least a little amused.

Biting into her lip, she waits.

“A’ight.” He lets out a rush of breath. “Guess I could eat.”

Her heart jumps and she instantly tries to make it stop. There’s nothing to celebrate.

This is just… well, she isn’t yet sure what this is for. But the thought of him being alone had sat on her chest all night long, she’d barely slept.

She doesn’t want him to be desolate, she doesn’t want that for him.

_But the truth is, you don’t wanna know what he was like._

“Ok.” She clears her throat. “Good. Um, you don’t have to bring anything.”

“Can I bring someone?”

She smiles. “Demon’s always welcome.”

“Cool, see ya then.”

“Bye.”

He hangs up and she feels equally better and worse.

* * *

_“Hey, Demon.”_

_She touches at his arm, making him turn from studying the warehouse to catch sight of her._

_“H-hey, Snow,” he greets her in surprise. “What’re you doing here; somethin up?”_

_“No, I just thought I’d bring Rio lunch.”_

_She holds up the container as evidence._

_“Nothing for_ me _?” he teases._

_She grins, gesturing at the other guys milling around._

_“You know I can’t play favourites.”_

_He smiles back then shrugs his huge shoulders._

_"Boss’s on a call, but he should be done soon.”_

_“Ok, I’ll wait.”_

_Demon nods firmly._

_“I’ll get you a chair,” he says, leaving no room to argue as his eyes flit to her stomach. “Water?”_

_God. The more she tells Demon she’s_ really not that far along _and he doesn’t need to be treating her like an invalid, the more he seems to see neon_ Fragile _signs flickering over her head. Y_ _ou’d swear she was carrying Christ._

_“Sure,” she decides._

_It’s usually better just to give in._

_He winks then lopes off and, letting out a breath, Beth begins to wander._

_She hasn’t been here in a while – she prefers to know as little about Rio’s business as possible. But today she’d been in the mood to get out of the house; get some fresh air._

_She stops in her tracks when she rounds a corner._

_There’s a gorgeous woman among the guys. Her features are dark and pronounced – Armenian, maybe – and she tosses her curtain of dark glossy hair mid-argument with one of them._

_Eventually she chucks a roll of money at him and Beth realises –_ she belongs here _. She’s not doing a delivery or someone’s girlfriend or a buyer. She’s part of Rio’s crew._

_And just then he appears, ending whatever call he’s on and immediately making his way into the circle._

_In seconds he’s caught up on whatever’s going on and he shoves at the guy she’d been arguing with._

_And Beth watches the way she looks at him as he seems to defend or maybe agree with her – Beth’s too far to hear – but there’s a reverence in her eyes; an adoration._

_She can’t breathe – god, she can’t breathe._

_Her chest is paralysed; something gnawing in her midsection. She feels sick._

_“Snow – you good?”_

_Demon’s there with a chair and water and, god, she can’t even speak._

_She shoves the container of food at him then rushes out._

* * *

“Wait, wait – now we’re having him _over for dinner_?”

“God, I forgot Ben won’t be here,” she shakes her head, annoyed with herself. “And Ruby said they can’t make it either, Stan has a work thing.”

This was not the plan – granted, the plan had been half-baked to begin with, but she’d hoped for more buffers.

“Stop ignoring me!” Annie exclaims. “What’s going on?”

“I told you.”

“So let me get this straight: The guy you were _Wham, bam, thank you Sam-ing_ while trying to get out of our lives then ignored for a week straight is now coming over for dinner – and this sounds completely normal to you?”

“Can you pass me the butter?”

“Can you land on any one thread of consistency?”

Beth glares at her sister for long enough that finally, heaving a sigh, she passes over the butter.

“So what are you so worried about?” she wonders, clearly deciding to pivot.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re clearly freaking out.”

She scoffs. “No, I’m not.”

“You cook when you’re anxious.”

“I do _not_.”

“Yeah, and we need four different kinds of potatoes why?”

“That reminds me, I need you to run out for duck fat. And truffles. Oh, and if it’s Demon out there, ask if he still hates carrots.”

Annie rolls her eyes the same way she has her entire life when she’s being handed chores.

“In what is apparently a newsflash to you – I don’t have truffle kind of money in my bank account.”

Now Beth rolls her eyes as she moves over to her bag then rifles through her wallet.

Annie gives her _a look_ when she hands over the black card.

_I’m just saying that right now we can’t afford to be tied to him or owe him any more than we already do._

_Well then figure out your own shit, because money is the last thing he cares about._

“I don’t wanna hear it.”

“Okayyyy,” Annie shrugs, grinning, “but know that I might just buy myself a Rolls Royce while I’m out.”

* * *

_“That’s a can opener – I asked for a spoon.”_

_Beth mutters an expletive before going back to the drawer to get the spoon out for her sister._

_“You know you barely have a stone fruit in there, right? You’re not allowed to have pregnancy brain yet.”_

_The sigh is belaboured._

_“I’m just distracted.”_

_Annie’s brows crease as she digs into her dessert._

_“Thinking about?”_

_For a few seconds she goes back and forth on being honest – it’s not the type of thing she’d normally ever share with her sister._

_But her mind’s been on self-attack mode for the past two hours, the memory and doubt echoing corner to corner on repeat._

_Deciding she needs to let it out, she exhales._

_“There’s a new girl in Rio’s crew.”_

_It seemingly takes Annie a moment to process this._

_“…You saw her earlier?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“I’m guessing she’s pretty.”_

_“More like jaw-droppingly gorgeous.”_

_“And you’re… jealous?”_

_“No! I don’t know! I can’t be – why would I be? Not that… I mean, I’m allowed to be, right?”_

_Her brows rise._

_“Oh, you’re fucked.”_

_“Annie!”_

_“I’m just saying – you’re having a meltdown because another woman_ exists in his universe _.”_

_She pouts a little, annoyed._

_“It’s not that.”_

_“Right.”_

_Beth rubs her hands over her face, like somehow that will make the chaos of her emotions align with logic._

_When she removes them, her voice is tiny._

_“There was just this_ way _she looked at him.”_

_Annie puckers her lips thoughtfully._

_“...I mean, who_ hasn’t _been in love with their boss?”_

_Beth lifts a very judgemental brow and her sister grins before setting down her bowl._

_“Ok, look. How many lectures have you given me about jealousy? Honesty and openness? Communication? Aren’t you the one always saying relationships are all about trust?”_

_God, she should have stuck with her own inner voices of critique – this is even worse._

_“I_ do _trust him!” She clears her throat. “…in theory.”_

_He hasn’t ever given her reason not to – the day they’d met, she'd noticed the way female attention seemed to roll off his back and it’s been that way ever since. His eyes never wander, he’s equally polite to men and women, and his friends constantly tease him for being ‘cuffed’; so incredibly dedicated to her. (Practically the entirety of the first half of her and Demon’s friendship had been him half-teasingly chastising her for robbing him of his wingman.)_

_But._

_“You've been out with us, you've seen the looks he gets; the way they throw themselves at him.”_

_And this Annie seems to sympathise with, nodding._

_“See, this is why I only date nerds. Hotties are too much emotional work.”_

_It makes her crack a smile – she’ll give her sister that – but the worry clearly doesn’t leave her expression, because her sister shifts closer with renewed assurance._

_“She’s a colleague, that’s all.”_

_“Exactly,” Beth points out. “He sees her as an equal professionally – I’m just_ the girlfriend _.”_

 _Beth had felt that acutely, standing there. On the outskirts, there to bring him lunch;_ her _there to advise him, to make him money._

 _“Who he_ loves _and who’s_ carrying his kid _,” Annie reminds firmly._

_Beth sighs._

_“You weren’t there.”_

_In her mind she still sees the gleam in the girl’s eyes; the way they were the same height but she’d still managed to look up to him._

_Picking her dessert back up, Annie sighs, clearly giving up on the inspirational speech tactic._

_“You should just_ talk _to him about it, I'm sure he'll be chill,” she shrugs animatedly. “The other day I told him he needs a manicure and homeboy heard me out.”_

_Wait, what?_

_“Are you serious?? He woke me at 2am to do his nails!”_

_“Oh, please, you were already awake.”_

_“That's my snack time!”_

_“I never told him to make_ you _do it!”_

_“Because Rio's totally going to go to a manicurist.”_

_And this mental image has them giggling for so long that, finally, the weight lifts off her chest._

* * *

“Nah. Gross moustache.”

Beth stops in her bedroom doorway.

She’d been busy getting cleaned up for dinner so apparently hadn’t heard the knock, but Rio must have come early because there he is, lounging on the couch with Annie.

They’re both peering at her phone and now she cranes her neck to glare at him.

“Ok, in case you didn’t notice, I’m a little desperate here.”

He points. “You want that between your legs?”

“Ok, good point.”

Beth steps out, making them both look up.

Rio’s eyes take her in for a second – the pale polka dot dress she’d been saving for a special occasion – then jerks his chin in acknowledgement before going back to Annie’s phone.

“Clinger.”

Annie gasps. “There’s no way you can tell that just by looking at her!”

“Wanna take that chance?”

Clearing her throat, Beth forces her legs to move. The potatoes need to go into the oven again and the pot pies need warming.

She’s trying hard to focus on these tasks – the salad dressing needs putting together, too – and block out whatever they’re doing, but she can’t stop herself from listening.

“Ok, _yes_.”

“Nuh-uh,” Rio disagrees. “She got crazy eyes, f’real.”

“God, what do _you_ know, anyway? Your whole type is _Beth_.”

And now she _has to know_.

“What’s going on?”

Her voice sounds shrill even to herself, but she figures she’s allowed to take the offence when her own name comes up.

Annie seems to take a moment to measure exactly how much venom she has forthcoming before responding evenly.

“I’m mad at—” She stops herself, glancing at Rio, then clears her throat: “… _my guy_ , so I downloaded Tinder and Rio’s helping me.”

“ _Helping_?”

What does that even mean?

Now her glare goes to him for some sort of explanation and he shrugs.

“Got here early; there was nothin else to do.”

He holds her eyes for enough time to make her remember the last time they’d shared a gaze.

_I don’t owe you that._

_That a fact?_

_Yes. I made it very clear what I was able to offer. And you ruined it by treating me like a pawn. Now there’s nothing left, and that’s on you._

She looks away.

The Tinder appraisals resume.

“ _Fuck no_ ,” they exclaim at the same time.

She allows herself a peek as Rio lets out a heavy breath, brows furrowed.

“What self-respecting person’s gonna go out with that guy?”

“Let me tell you, I know some people with _zero_ self-respect who still wouldn’t go out with that guy.”

Her sister swipes and then Rio’s brow arches.

“She’s hot.”

Something strikes deep in her chest.

But Annie ruffles her nose. “Boobs are too big.”

“No such thing.”

“Hmm, she says she loves bokashi. Is that a sex thing?”

“It’s a compost thing.”

“Ew.” Swiping, she cocks her head. “He has a motorbike, I like that.”

Move, Beth.

She forces her limbs back into action, moving around the kitchen even as it continues, an assault she can’t seem to filter out.

“Asshole for sure,” Rio weighs in.

“Like _won’t call after_ asshole or _would knowingly give you gonorrhoea_ asshole?”

“Second one.”

She groans before suddenly whooping: “She’s _gorgeous_.”

“Tongue piercing,” he whistles lowly. “Nice ass, too.”

Beth feels her neck warm and it has nothing to do with anything she’s doing in the kitchen.

“ _Great_ ass. Right swipe for sure.” A second later: “Ooh.”

“Small dick for sure.”

“Oh, please.”

“What was Tongue Piercing’s name?”

“Yvonne.”

“Hold out for Yvonne, she a ten. Tiny Dick’s like a one on a good day.”

“I need options!”

God, she can’t anymore; she _can’t_.

Her voice is even shriller when she speaks this time, breaking a little too with the volume of it.

“Where’s Demon??”

Before he can answer, there’s a knock on the door, and Rio juts a thumb out before jumping up.

“Don’t swipe right on him, I’m tellin you.”

Before Annie can respond, Beth huffs.

“Put that away. And don’t swipe on _anyone_ , you have a boyfriend.”

She’s stirring the mushroom sauce as he opens the door and she’s about to taste it one last time when suddenly there’s a squeaky _Oh_ from behind her, and Beth turns first to look at her sister then to follow her gaze.

Standing in her apartment isn’t Rio’s face-tatted right-hand man – but, rather, a gorgeous Armenian in thigh-high boots.

They seem to spot each other at the same time; grimace at the same time, and then Beth has to move forward.

Has to smile and play pretend; be a good hostess. She’d been Mrs Dean Boland once, she’s practised at it.

“V, right?”

V _does not_ seem to share the sentiment.

“My _crew_ calls me V,” she points out. “Valerie is fine.”

“Rio, can I talk to you for a minute?”

She doesn’t wait for an answer, marching to her bedroom then spinning on him as soon as he’s in behind her, shutting the door with a smirk.

“Ain't a good time for a quickie.”

God, she wishes she still had a gun.

“ _As if_ I would want to have sex with you right now,” she spits. “How could you bring her here??”

He squints back.

“Why _couldn't_ I?”

This stops her for a second, thwarting her just like he’d clearly intended, but then she moves forward with renewed indignation.

“What happened to keeping me safe; nobody knowing about me?”

He watches her for a long moment, the smirk on his lips now small and secretive.

“She been the one posted here. In the car outside.”

It knocks her back a step.

_Demon's standin post. Then I have one more guy in the street. Both of em go where you go. No distractions._

She remembers that now, though it had honestly completely slipped her mind – V’s good, invisible, she’ll give her that.

But.

“So you're telling me that the two people you trust most in your organisation is Demon and _her_?”

The smirk is a little smugger now; a little more knowing.

“There a problem with that?”

She swallows.

“I said Demon could come, not her.”

Fully smiling now, he comes forward, his hands clasped in front of him.

“What's your problem with her, Elizabeth?”

She steps back with another swallow.

“...She's rude.”

“Uh-huh.”

He nods for a while, still smiling, then starts angling his body away.

“Well, she's here now and I'm hungry, so let's go.”

And that’s how the four of them find themselves seated at the table in silence, each pierce of cutlery meeting crockery scraping its way up her spine.

“Annie – did you know Demon’s engaged now?”

She has to say something; she _has to_. It’s been ten minutes of near-solid silence – even her sister hasn’t known what to say, which is a fucking sign of the times if she’s ever seen one – and she thinks she’ll die if it continues.

“No way!” Annie fabricates surprise. “Who’s the crazy girl?”

“He says her name is Jess.”

She looks at Rio. “Give us the scoop.”

He seems to think about this for a long moment then shrugs.

“She goes to church.”

“No _way_!” Real surprise this time. “Does _he_ go, too??”

“Why are we talking about Demon?”

Both women’s eyes go to V, who hasn’t said much more than _Pass the spinach_ the entire time, while giving off the general vibe that she’d rather be anywhere but here.

Beth’s speechless, but it seems that phase has passed for her sister.

“Because you’re a strange unexpected guest and now he’s the only person we all know.”

The moment sits, tangibly awkward, for several seconds.

And for once, Beth doesn’t mind it. Her sister sticking up for her in this particular situation isn’t something she’s going to complain about, no matter the result.

But then – another sign of the times – Rio intercedes, changing the topic.

“What’s goin on wit’ you and your guy anyway?”

“Well, he said he quit… his last job,” she states carefully, shooting Beth a glance, “but now there’s a friend who’s asking him to come back for one more… job.” 

God. They’d agreed they wouldn’t tell Rio about Eddie, but her sister is terrible at keeping secrets – Beth’s surprised she’s managed this amount of withholding.

Rio’s brow rises. “And what’s that gotta do wit’ you?”

Her mouth falls open, sudden panic in her eyes because there’s no way to answer that without explaining what his _previous job_ _was_ , and this time Beth intervenes.

“Annie, why don’t you just be honest about what the real problem is?” All eyes go to her and she clears her throat: “They’re taking things slowly and my sister is more of a ‘We’ll figure it out as we go’ kind of person,” she explains for V’s benefit.

The look she gets back is half a _thank you_ , half a _fuck you_ ; but then Annie spreads her hands, going along with it.

“What’s so wrong with wanting to get laid by your own boyfriend?”

“He’s being thoughtful,” Beth points out.

“Why can’t he be thoughtful inside me?”

“Oh my god.”

“Gotta test drive him.”

Again, it’s like they’d somehow managed to forget the gorgeous five-foot-seven brunette – her speaking again so shocking that it takes Annie several seconds to realise that she’d just been agreed with.

“…Thank you!”

Beth grits her teeth, making – aggressively – direct eye contact with V for the first time.

“ _Or maybe_ , after dozens of unhealthy relationships, _my sister_ has finally found a genuinely good person who values her for more than her body.”

“Maybe. Or he just can’t put it down.”

Oh, fuck this bitch.

“Rio – what do you think?”

Her head whips toward him at lightning speed.

Her eyes must be aflame, cheeks flushed; even Jane shifting with the fury radiating from Beth’s entire being.

But, unbothered, Rio takes a leisurely second, licks his lips, then starts stretching out his arms.

“I think it’s been a long day, so Imma skip dessert.”

She stares at him, lips parted, as he pushes his chair back and stands with the nonchalance of, of— god, she doesn’t know what, but something she really wants to punch.

But, apparently not yet done, he throws a casual arm in Annie’s direction.

“Also I think she’s grown and she can figure it out for herself.” He looks at V. “Let’s go, honey.”

They’re out the door in under thirty seconds, V casting a glance over the spread to mutter _The potatoes weren’t bad_ ; Rio not even bothering to go that extent in thanks.

As soon as the door shuts, her glare goes to her sister.

“Can you believe him?!”

“ _Yeah_ , because he’s totally right! I _am_ perfectly capable of making up my own mind.”

“ _No_ , I mean bringing a date here!”

She cocks her head. “I mean, _was_ she a date, though? Seems kinda sexist to assume.”

Beth rolls her eyes as she starts angrily collecting the plates.

“He called her honey.”

“A homeless woman I walked past this afternoon said, ‘Nice shirt, honey’. I highly doubt that means we’re going steady now.”

She glares. “You’re being deliberately obtuse.”

“No, your point is just bad.”

“Why would he bring her here? I mean, _her_ of all people!”

Following her into the kitchen, Annie snorts.

“I’m genuinely struggling to see the problem.”

“Would you like me to explain it in a different language?” Beth spits, exasperated.

“He brought her here to make you jealous because he’s into you; you _are_ jealous because you’re into him. Seems pretty simple to me. But if you think a different language would help, go ahead.”

Arms folded, she raises a brow, waiting.

But, really, it takes all Beth has just to blink; breathe.

* * *

_“Thanks for the lunch.”_

_She sets her Jane Austen aside as Rio closes the bedroom door behind him, kicking off his shoes as he pulls off his jacket._

_She watches for a second, taking him in for a second as a stranger. Thinking about the first time she’d seen him. How struck she’d been._

_She swallows._

_“You're welcome.”_

_His socks join the pile._

_“Why'd you bolt?”_

_Beth waits a moment as his t-shirt comes off too; takes in his wiry frame._

_Then she shifts, sitting up a little more._

How many lectures have you given me about jealousy? Honesty and openness? Communication?

_“I saw the new girl in your crew.”_

_He thinks for a moment._

_“V?”_

You should just talk to him about it, I'm sure he'll be chill.

_“…She's really pretty.”_

_Her voice cracks a little and he cocks his head, peering at her curiously._

_“And that's got you feelin some type o' way?”_

_His tone is even, measured, but she still feels somehow judged._

_“I could lie and say no.”_

_He breaks into a grin then vaults the distance to flop onto the bed._

_“So you a lil jealous, huh?”_

_“It’s not funny.”_

_“Hmm.”_

_The amusement slowly fades from his features as he seems to consider her._

_She shifts some more under the weight of the gaze, annoyed that she can’t quite tell how this is going._

_“Why didn’t you tell me about her?” she decides on._

_He leans forward, brows furrowing._

_“Since when I been sendin out memos ’bout new guys?”_

_God._

_“She’s not a guy.”_

_His knobby shoulders shrug. “She is to me. And she ain’t the only chick I run with, neither.”_

_Oh._

_“…Is that supposed to make me feel better?”_

_A laugh erupts from his throat that rolls with warmth – he’s laughing_ at _her, but it’s affectionate in some sort of way. She glares._

_“Elizabeth.” He stares at her very seriously once he’s stopped. “Let’s make a deal, yeah?”_

_Lifting a brow, she decides to act a little stroppy._

_“What kind of deal?”_

_“The kind that’s gonna make you never gotta worry ’bout this kinda shit again.”_

_…Okay._

_“Well, what is it?”_

_He smirks a little at her impatient tone then creeps closer, shifting so he’s laying over her legs. They’re aching a little and the warmth from his body seems to soothe them._

_“You ever seen me checkin out another girl?”_

_“That’s not—”_

_“Answer the question.”_

_She huffs._

_Then, reluctantly: “No.”_

_“Anythin I ever done to get ya thinkin I can’t keep it in my pants?”_

_“…No.”_

_“A’ight,” he nods firmly, “so how’s ’bout this: the day I give you a reason – any fuckin inch of one – you can start doubtin me all you want; put my ass on blast, whatever.”_

_It makes her crack a smile and he lays a small kiss on her knee before meeting her eyes again._

_“Till then, you gimme the benefit o’ the doubt. ’Cuz there ain’t no one else in this world I want but you, momma. F'real. And that’s all you gotta know.”_

_And, meeting the depths of his eyes, she believes him._

_Just like that._

_All the fear, the insecurity, evaporates._

_He wants her, her. No one else._

_She leans forward but he’s already there, an inch from her lips._

_Their fingers tangle as they kiss then get her naked; scratch into each other’s bodies._

_She smiles, after, as he whispers kisses over the top of her spine; skips the pads of his fingers in some unknowable pattern on her shoulder._

_“Deal – by the way.”_

_He laughs – and again, it’s the warm rolling one that she feels come from his stomach, and this time she joins in._

_“Fuck, I love you, mami.”_

_His hand goes to her stomach and she intertwines hers with it, squeezing for a moment as she whispers her reciprocation into his arm wrapped around her._

_And for a while they just lie there, the silence comfortable – till Beth pulls a face._

_“You really expect me to believe you_ never _check out any other women?”_

_His body rocks with laughter now and she uses the opportunity to twist and face him, throwing up a very accusatory eyebrow._

_“Like you don't?” he returns, still laughing a little. “Ya don't think I see the way you look at that guy at the bakery?”_

_Beth gasps._

_“He's a_ baker _! Have you_ seen _his arms?”_

 _“What's wrong with_ my _arms?”_

_He seems actually affected by this, all trace of laughter leaving as he looks at his left arm like it had personally offended him._

_She rolls her eyes. “He spends all day kneading dough.”_

_Rio purses his lips, thinking._

_“So now I gotta get into bread-baking?”_

_“I wouldn't be opposed to it. But mainly because I like bread,” she teases, then shrugs. “I like your arms.”_

_“Yeah?”_

_The question is genuine, some scattering of self-consciousness curled into the lines of his frown._

_“Yeah,” she nods, voice soft._

_And then her legs are parting around him again, her lips charting his neck as he pulls her in close and they fit together, just right._

* * *

The Cadillac shines in the moonlight.

It makes her stop for a second – she’d texted him, asking him to wait, and he’d agreed, but it’s still somehow surprising. Perhaps something going right tonight feels incongruous; maybe some part of her had thought Annie was wrong and she’d lost him forever.

He’s alone in the car; V nowhere visible. 

She can hear her own breaths as she crosses the road, holding her coat tightly to her as the wind whips at the ends of it.

The door is unlocked and she slips in easily; as easily as he always lets her in. _Used to_. As easily as he’d always used to let her in.

Now he’s looking out his window off into the distance, deliberately avoiding acknowledging her presence.

It stings a little, but Annie’s words buzz in her chest.

_He brought her here to make you jealous because he’s into you._

“Thanks for waiting,” she breaks the silence.

Her voice is high and crisp; so different to V’s sexy gruffness that makes even the roughest words off her tongue somehow seductive.

Rio rocks his jaw back and forth for a while, biding his time.

She doesn’t mind – she likes looking at him in the half-dark; shadows hinting at all the complexities and paradoxes of a man that once she’d known every part of. 

But then he speaks.

“What do you want?”

Her gaze ghosts over his lips and the light sheen there left behind by his tongue; the heights of his cheekbones that glow in the sliver of moonlight.

“Are you sleeping with her?”

“ _Fuck_.”

The fury in his voice is full; the perfect opposite to the crisp clearness of her own. Mad; he’s mad.

She waits.

He still won’t face her but takes two deep calming breaths, blinking slow and long.

“No.”

And though she’d needed to ask, the answer brings no surprise. No surprise, just joy bounding in her chest. This time she doesn't quash it. 

And then, her hand landing on his inner thigh, he has to look at her.

He jerks almost imperceptibly, surprise darting iridescently though his eyes.

The elation that she can still elicit this from him bubbles up inside her, instant.

Floating; she’s floating.

So it tinkles from her tongue.

“...Take me somewhere.”

And, swallowing, he doesn’t have to say it for her to hear it.

_I hate when you get like this._

* * *

* * *

**Beth's dress:**

[ ](https://ibb.co/StY60sL)

**Beth's lingerie (for the next chapter):**

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)


End file.
